Archive for the ‘BeYONCE’s Hair’ Category

SEPARATED AT BIRTH: Copy Cat Comparisons…

Saturday, May 9th, 2009

cassie dove

Poor little beautiful CASSIE can’t catch a break on the internets.

She cuts half her head off and everyone says that Dove from De La Soul still did it better.

Just like she lost last year wearing the same Wonder Woman suit as KIM KARDASHIAN. Let’s all agree that KIM has the actual Dominicana body type even if half that shit is made with high tech plastics.

cassie kim

Now CASSIE leaks some tasteful nudes of herself on the web to push up her sex appeal a few notches and just when maybe she had folks attention where we were listening to her denials of leaking the images as a publicity stunt the REAL publicity stunt goes down.

Nekkid pics of RIHANNA hit the web and caused Twitter to crash. Well, not really, Twitter was going down for maintenance in the afternoon anyhoo, but that happened right after the RIHANNA nudie leak so I surmised it was her milky soft asscheeks that caused the outage.

cassie riri

I have a couple of NSFW pics linked below so you can see which of these two pop starlets did the nipple rings thging better. Word to JANET JACKSON.

CASSIE

RIHANNA

BUZZ THIRST

Tuesday, May 5th, 2009

pink

I remember when this chick Pink first hit the scene. They had her on some bawdy R & B chanteuse type shit, but that didn’t really work since Black folks only fux with Jamaican girls who dye their hair pink. . And even then not so much (see Patra)

Pink’s next shot was as a country western singer, but that failed too for all the American Idol and MySpace singers that are coming into the music business. Pink can’t seem to catch a break in the pop singer pecking order. CRISTINA AGUILERA gets married and pregnant. CARRIE UNDERWOOD goes from American Idol to stadium status (yes TONY ROMO). Even BRITNEY SPEARS makes a ballyhooed comeback. KATY PERRY kisses a girl, and likes it?!?

KATY PERRY swagger jacked Pink’s lane right in front of her face. Pink was supposed to be the sexually ambiguous singer, but now she is stuck being the dykey tramp with the motocross riding boyfriend as her beard. Pink is hell’a thirsty for buzz. My advice to her is to hurry up and fill in the lane as the pill addicted former pop tart before AMY WINEHOUSE overdoses.

Can You Hear Me Now?!?

Monday, May 4th, 2009

killa

Cam’Ron album release party 2nite!

Hot 97 presents Cam’ron

Exclusive Crime Pays CD Release Performance

hosted by Funkmaster Flex

May 4,2009

Doors open @ 8 PM

Concert starts @ 9PM

Highline Ballroom

Located at 431 W 16th St

Between 9th and 10th Ave

Jay-Z Won…

Friday, May 1st, 2009

nalis

While BeYONCE stars in the number one picture in theaters across the country KELIS files for divorce in her third tri-mester.

Still married >>> Stillmatic

I’m Obsessed…

Wednesday, April 29th, 2009

b

The latest cinematic vehicle strarring BeYONCE KNOWLES-CARTER smells like a pile of sexy shit sitting on the sidewalk. True story is that even BeYONCE’s ham-fisted performance wasn’t as bad as IDRIS ELBA’s look. IDRIS and BeYONCE are throwback actors because they perform like we are still making silent movies. Maybe its because the both of them would be better off in music videos where the dialogue isn’t spoken by them, but rather sung through auto-tune.

Still and all I sat through the two hours of this half-baked thriller that didn’t have any idea what it wanted to be when it grew up. We knew at some point that the sassy blonde played by ‘Heroes’ heroine ALI LARTER would have to lock horns with the sassier auburn wigged BeYONCE. At least they didn’t disappoint us in that regard. As an aside, don’t look now fellas, but ALI LARTER is being typecast as the white chick who likes Black sticks. You might could win is all I’m saying.

‘Obsessed’ would have been a better film with better writing and better actors. See some shit like ‘Inside Man’ for the sexy interracial tension that DENZEL WASHINGTON and JODIE FOSTER create. JODIE FOSTER’s old ass >>> ALI LARTER too for that matter. How crazy is it that I delivered the best line of the whole movie after BeYONCE finally defeats the psycho home wrecker by literally wrecking her new house? As the ALI LARTER character lay dead and the camera flashed to a worn and bruised BeYONCE I decided to yell out in the theatre, “she’s a survivor!”

Poor scripting and even worse acting now makes for a box office success.

The lowest common denominator rules the world.