Archive for the ‘BeYONCE’s Hair’ Category

Computer Love In Real Life…

Saturday, December 13th, 2008

aiko

I am a little jealous of this dude LE TRUNG. Instead of being like the rest of us fanboys who happily collect action figures and pose them for music videos LE decided to make his own action figure. A life size fem-bot named Aiko. He has programmed her to speak English as well as Japanese, which was a bit curious since dude is a Vietnamese cat living in Canada.

Whatever is clever is what my moms always said. This dude has effectively solved his virginity issues by making another virgin. However, he better not let homegirl watch any television and definitely no internets because she will leave his ass for sure.

That is, as soon as she is programmed to walk. Now I see this programming pimp’s angle. Aiko will never walk out on him if he never motorizes her legs. Talk about ‘Love Lockdown’?

I say he still better watch out though because if her heart walks out the door then it doesn’t matter if she stays. You don’t want to fucks with an android chick with a cold heart. That is some heartless shit (no ‘Ye Tudda).

aiko

aiko

^^^ LOLz at homeboy trying to cover up the chubby that Aiko is giving him.

aiko

LE TRUNG is the freak of the week as he takes Aiko all about the town to cosplay conventions and strolls in the park. The best part is this story is that dude is taking orders to build more of these joints.

From Kings Come Queens…

Saturday, December 6th, 2008

bklyn bridge

First Saturday @ The Brooklyn Museum of Art
sponsored by Target. Holla.

?uestlove presents… The Lesson
Props to Ian(Eon) and GabeRockka

Target is a ghetto ass store at the crossroads of Atlantic and Flatbush Avenues, but no one was shot at Target over the Thanksgiving holidays. No one was trampled either. I fucks with Target on the regulack. Their prices be meh, but I like the scene of all these young mature people dressed up getting they shop on.

This is Brooklyn. Home to the wolves. And to the first civilized man. The first kings reside in Kings county. They live in Farragut houses. Walt Whitman houses. Breevort houses. Notice I said houses and not projects. Projects are experiments and tasks. Who wants to be that? Fuck all of this philosophy. Brooklyn has the broads just waiting to find someone to help them get their mind right.

One yourself if you aren’t at the Brooklyn Museum of Art tonight.

Or Target…

Celebrate Cat-Fight Friday…

Thursday, November 27th, 2008

catfight

Eat well tonight. Go for lots of carbs and proteins. You are going to need that energy when you are kicking people’s asses tomorrow in the mall parking lots across America.

It is always funny to me the words we choose to describe our states of being. I love that Black Friday, the Friday after Thanksgiving, has several connotations depending on where in the food chain you participate in the day.

Some media outlets say that Black Friday is the busiest shopping day of the year. This isn’t true, it’s just part of the media hype to nudge consumers. The weekends and the day before Christmas are the busiest shopping days, in terms of traffic and receipts.

The ‘Black’ in this Black Friday refers to retailers finally returning to the positive side of their accounting ledgers. That is also more hype. Retailers make money from the American consumer at a dizzying rate. Consumer spending makes up 3/4’s of the U.S. economy. Every payday in America is a Black Friday.

The history behind the term ‘Black Friday’ actually comes from the Philadelphia police department when they were confronted with all the negroes flooding the center city Broad Street district for shopping and revelry the day after Thanksgiving. I always wondered why the ‘hood treated the Friday like a holiday unto itself. Sheeeeit, we had off from school didn’t we?

Now that I am older I see Black Friday as the greatest day for cat fights and various unsociable nonsense. There will be thousands, if not millions of people out and about who don’t normally leave their homes or enclaves. Psychopaths, deviants, retards, cripples and mostly just people that hate other people will be in the presence of other people.

I feel like taking my camera out into the streets to document the madness, but I will need both hands to fight with people.

WHO IS SASHA FIERCE?

Thursday, November 27th, 2008

beyonce

I just read an article about how BeYONCE needs to create an alter-ego in order for her to perform some of her more risque dance routines and pop tunes. I’ve called out BeYONCE previously for also employing this gimmick, despite the fact that I use a pen name to write my column at XXL .

What I knew, yet didn’t acknowledge is that the white hot glare of the public stare can become discomforting. Alter-egos are necessary personas when we have something to say that may offend some of the folks that we are close to, or we consider friends.

Some of my favorite (and not so much) artists have shifted through their alter-egos so deftly that you feel like you know them personally. REGGIE NOBLE has Redman, MARSHALL MATHERS has Eminem as well as Slim Shady and even T.I. has Tip and some dude named CLIFFORD who got pinched by the Feds for having a cache of undisclosed military weapons.

BeYONCE uses SASHA FIERCE though in a way that only these artists could dream of. While BeYONCE is determined to maintain a visage that will surely translate to gospel music the second her pop music career hit the skids she needs an outlet to sell her sexuality and her reedonkulous badonkey donk. BeYONCE is pimping… Herself.

beyonce

While Ms.KNOWLES (CARTER?!?) still attends missionary committee luncheons at the Mt. Carmel Baptist Church while SASHA FIERCE walks the streets at night to tease the boys with her milkshake. Only teasing is allowed though since the last time she was documented to have had relations she wound up pregnant in Houston.

BeYONCE has managed to do what no one before her could execute properly. She has removed sex from sexuality. It’s all just posing, shaking and strutting. There is no penetration. There is not even enough time for foreplay. At the end of the day this detachment is what may do her in. The pop music world had a chameleon that shifted shapes as often as she changed her hair color. That was Madonna.

But even Madonna got it in early in often. Who remembers the circular door that she had in her bedroom? You can’t get to the top and stay clean. You have to have some dirt under your nails. I’m not talking about the fake drunk episode either. I’m talking about real scandal. It is when she is brought to her knees that she will be embraced even more vigorously by the public. That is when she will transform from the robot into the human.

beyonce

UnKut Hearts Supergirls 2

Sunday, November 23rd, 2008

supergirls

Just when you thought that you had enough, UnKut brings you more super powered heat for that anus [ll].

wonderlass

wonderlass

wonderlass

Call me silly if you want to but up until I saw these pics of Powerwoman with the photo hanging in the background I hadn’t realized that these weren’t the actual superheroines.

Nice heels though.

wonderlass

wonderlass

wonderlass