Archive for the ‘BeYONCE’s Hair’ Category

Will Miss Rap Reign Supreme?

Sunday, April 13th, 2008

miss rap supreme

Billy X. Sunday only wants to interview XXL Eye Candy.

The ego trip collective brings us their latest rap music survivor contest with the show ‘Miss Rap Supreme’ premiering tomorrow night at 10pm on Vh-1. I’m wondering though if the ladies still care about rap music like that to be a dedicated viewing audience. I know that the fellas still give a fuck about Hip-Hop, but do they care about the trials and tribulations of a woman seeking to find fame and fortune in the rap game?

The last female that I honestly wanted to hear rhyme was Rah-Digga. After she got all glammed up I felt like she lost some of her flavor. I also loved Lil’ Kim when Notorious was still alive and before she got her first nosejob. There are a bunch of other female rappers I lsort of listened to, but they all served as concubines to the alpha-male counterpart of their crew. Except Missy Elliot, and I can’t say that I have ever liked her as a rapper. Missy might be one of Hip-Hop’s greatest entertainers, but as a rapper… I think Magoo writes her shit.

Before someone shouts out Jean Grae or even Lady Luck I have to tell you that I don’t know who either of them is. Lady Luck has that verse on the Pharoahe Monch remix, but after that I couldn’t tell you who she is. Jean Grae has been on everyone’s list since forever yet she still can’t manage enough headway in the industry to get her shit out. Does the industry know something that we don’t? In this case prah’lee. The point of this show can’t be to rehash old careers. No one will watch that shit, unless you place a camera on Foxy Brown 24-7. Speaking of Fox Boogie, she is about to get out of the clink next week. Somebody needs to spool up the DV tapes for that circus.

Which asks further… Why are we watching this program in the first place? Will ‘Miss Rap Supreme’ bring rap music back into the hands of the entire community? Will folks buy the iTunes single? Will this be another lowest common denominator type series? Will a motherfucking tree grow in Brooklyn? I’m fucking with ego trip’s show for sure, but if they are just going to have a catfight every week then I might as well go to Cat Fight City.

As a matter of fact, I’m going there now.

STUDY A BROAD…

Saturday, April 12th, 2008

msn

Check the story of how this all girls school from Virginia took a field trip to a Nevada brothel as part of their class on American consumption.

Field trip brings college class to Nevada brothel

I hope these professional women told the students the straight truth which is to drop out of school now and get on their back. There are only a few jobs that are recession proof. Whoring is one of them.

Eyes Without A Face…

Thursday, April 10th, 2008

average white bland

You can get with this, or you can get with that…

This is why I tell you to keep your eyes on the white, literally. When I was out drinking, or getting high, or whatever, white created a new science. That shit is called Koinophilia, and it is all about how humans select their sexual mates.

The study of Koinophilia does some silly shit where they place the images of similar genders on top of one another to create an “average” image. Like, who the fuck doesn’t know how to use Adobe Photoshop in 2008? These fake scientists are going to tell me that the reason I choose white women is because they are scientifically more beautiful?

No, I choose white women because I want my offspring to have an easier life in AmeriKKKa. The future prospects for a jig baby named TyQuan or StarrKeysha are fucked the fuck up. A mulatto kid named Chandler… Not so much. Still and all at the end of the day the Koinophiliacs missed the point if they think that natural selection has anything to do with nostril symmetry.

While white may have the advantage when beauty is promoted through the mainstream media, the real natural selection still favors Black girls. Until white naturally develops the official ba-donk-a-donk, the specimen pictured below will remain the ultimate representative of fertility. Peep the cottage cheese. Tasty.

tasty

Dark & Lovely Run Amok…

Sunday, April 6th, 2008

black luv
Sometimes I get mad at the shit that Black women are sold to fry their wigs in the name of beauty. I get mad at the companies that sell this shit and I get mad at the women who buy this shit.

olive oil

Olive oil?!? Someone is about to fry they wig. Nah’mean?!?

africas best

How ironic that ‘Africa’s Best’ raison d’etre is to ultimately get the Black out of one’s scalp?

Risque Business…

Thursday, April 3rd, 2008

risque

After the First Saturday event at the Brooklyn Museum of Art I will go into Manhattan for what I hope to be an out of this world after party. Brown Girls Burlesque is the name of the show and it is being promoted as a performance that I don’t want to miss.

These ladies are inspired by some of the greatest super heroines of all time. Catwoman, Storm, Aeon Flux, GRACE JONES and PAM GRIER to name a few.

Traditional burlesque shows capture comedic elements and will weave them through all kinds of social taboos and morays. Don’t just be prepared to laugh. Be prepared to laugh at yourself and all the things you thought were important. Burlesque is totally grown folks humor. So you may not get it if you haven’t actually seen the world.

The theme for this performance is super heroines and the people that love them. I like the idea of women putting on stretchy costumes and kicking ass. I’ll let you know how these broads rocked the spot.

Brown Girls Burlesque
The Zipper Factory
336 West 37th Street (btwn 6th & 7th Aves)
$20 – Showtime 11pm

risque