Archive for the ‘BeYONCE’s Hair’ Category

The Dark Phoenix Saga (ReMix)

Tuesday, June 5th, 2007

jean grey

Copping those Air Max 90’s reminded me of how much I enjoyed the Dark Phoenix saga inside the X-Men comic book series. As a matter of fact I think this event was sadder for me then learning that there wasn’t a Santa Claus. Jean Grey was a woman that was endowed with an incredible amount of uncontrollable power. It wasn’t long before she was corrupted and then consumed by that power. I wanted her to win in the end, but what I didn’t realize is that sometimes death is a victory. It still hurts though.

Walk with me for a minute as we go through the issues that lead up to her demise…

134

X-MEN #134
The X-Men defeat the Knights of the Hellfire Club, but in the process they lose Jean Grey forever. Her mind was altered by the villain Mastermind, who was impersonating a Victorian era gentleman named Jason Wyngarde. In the process of infiltrating Jean Grey’s brain Mastermind unlocked some of the pyschic barriers that Professor X had installed to keep Jean Grey from realizing the potential of the Phoenix power. Now that the Phoenix was unleashed it repaid Mastermind by essentially performing a lobotomy on him without the surgery, reducing Mastermind to the comicbook version of TERRI SCHIAVO. The Phoenix then becomes the Dark Phoenix.

135

X-MEN #135
Defeating the Hellfire Club was simple compared to trying to tame the raw fury of the Dark Phoenix. Part of the reason the X-Men are having difficulty is because they don’t want to hurt Jean Grey while trying to put the Dark Phoenix in check. No dice. The Dark Phoenix knows all of their weaknesses and it doesn’t want to be stifled. In short, the X-Men’s ass is grass.

136

X-MEN #136
The Phoenix force has totally consumed Jean Grey’s body and is out of control. Drunk with freedom it traveled into another solar system and consumed an entire star, similiar to the Sun that our Earth rotates around. Unfortunately, the star was also the life giver to the planets within its system and one of those planets was inhabited by billions of lifeforms that were all killed when the Dark Phoenix consumed the star. The Dark Phoenix was an out of control universal force. Some say the Dark Phoenix is more powerful than Galactus. For whatever reason the Dark Phoenix returned to Earth it gave the X-Men one last chance to defeat it. Professor X recruited Jean Grey’s parents in the hopes that they might be able to reach whatever was left of Jean’s pysche that the Dark Phoenix had not corrupted. With that small opening the Professor engaged in a telepathic duel with the Dark Phoenix for the soul of Jean Grey. With Jean’s help the Professor was barely able to subdue the Dark Phoenix.

137

X-MEN #137
For my money this is the greatest comicbook ever created. The art and the story are the most incredible flight of fancy and emotion that I have ever ridden. FRANK MILLER’s Daredevil and Dark Knight books are a close second and third, but if I could only have one single issue of any comic title it would be this one. The X-Men are kidnapped by the Imperial Guard and Jean Grey is placed on trial for the crimes that the Phoenix has committed. The X-Men offer to duel with the Imperial Guard for Jean’s life and a battle royale ensues. The X-Men are getting their asses handed to them on a platter when suddenly the Phoenix re-emerges to thump out everybody. Jean Grey can feel the power surging inside of her and before she can be transformed again into the Dark Phoenix she decides to take her own life. Cyclops can be seen crying over her ashes as the book concludes. Classic good shit.

138

X-MEN #138
A chapter ends for the X-Men as Scott Summers leaves the group after the loss of his true love. Scott and Jean were the last two members of the original team that were still with the group, but after this issue the X-Men will be comprised of only members that came on in issue #94.

JOHN BYRNE and CHRIS CLAREMONT did a masterful job on the X-Men series and despite the difficulties that these two creative people had working with each other the end product is something greater than they could have ever created alone. Because of these comic books I wanted to become a writer so that Jean Grey would live on forever, but alas, nothing lasts forever.

Except for love.

JAY-Z Screws The Working Man (No TEDDY PENDERGRASS ReMix)

Monday, June 4th, 2007

brown penis

I might have been the only person that wasn’t overjoyed with the news that JAY-Z was recording another album despite his claims of retirement. Black people have been running through the streets hugging and greeting each other as if O.J. were being acquitted a second time. Albeit, this will prah’lee be the best rap album released in 2006, topping the highly anticipated offerings from NAS and RAEKWON. With a look at the level of production lined up for this disk I can’t see how it will lose… KANGHEY, Dr.DRE and the 2006 recipient for the Bagger Vance award, TIMBERLAND (Bagger Vance awards are given to beneficent Black folk who help white get their shit right – MORGAN FREEMAN usually wins this annually).

If I were still 16 years old I would be excited about this news, but because I am a grown azz man I see a much bigger picture than just a forty year old man holding a microphone. I see a man who had worked at a profession and retired only to be forced to unretire by the people that were paying out his 401k. Universal needs a JAY-Z album just to stay in the black for this fiscal year. They don’t believe that NAS will turn in an inspired disk and they aren’t ballsy enough to bank on their stable of vets like JOE BUDDENS or the great REDMAN. So the T.I.’s at Island Records go to their ace in the hole. JAY-Z has a lust for the fame already and he has been writing rhymes to FOXY BROWN’s music ever since we all found out that she was only making deaf jams. He’s been itching to make a comeback and Universal/Island Records is desperate to sell some CD’s. Everything is not right with the world though…

JAY-Z’s unretirement is destroying the quality of life for the working class American. The precedent he is establishing is one that will be carried over into the real world as companies now bring their retirees back to the workplace in order for them to maintain their health coverage. Forget your dreams of retirement in sunny Ocala because your azz will have to stay at the mill until you die. You might as well terminate that deferred compensation plan and spend the money now on Cristal Dom Perignon and car wheels. Hip-Hop has just shattered your dreams of wearing flip flops.

ROC-A-FELLA y’all

Pop Music Singers Are Putting Ho’s Out Of Business (ReMix)

Monday, June 4th, 2007

Mz.B

I have to say that GLAMAZON was talking to me about this subject a while back. Pop music singers are pushing street walkers and ho’s out of business because they are making sex too accessible and too cheap. They’re also making it too young for their immature adolescent consumers to understand it’s ramifications.

This isn’t to say that pop music singers weren’t always glorified prostitutes, both men and women. A bunch of skanky street hustlers with some glitter shirts on. Shaking their money makers for old white men who incidentally preferred men to women. How you doin’ DIDDY?!? The bottom line was that they were all grown azz people and even though it was still pop music their image did not appeal to a younger audience. There were no little girls dressing like the Mary Jane Girls

mary jane girls

or better yet, VANITY 6.

vanity 6

These were grown azz ho’s and everybody knew that. When they sung about giving oral sex or sticking a finger up a man’s asshole you knew they knew what they were talking about. When I hear sixteen year old CASSIE sing about giving head I have to ask myself, “Self, does this pretty face really know how to lick the underside of my balls as well as tongue kiss my taint?”

assie

Or is she just another pretty face all dolled up in grown woman’s make up? Now don’t get me wrong, I am all for young woman expressing their natural biological desires, if they feel like they have to. ROBERT SYLVESTER KELLY picks up my slack when the age meter dips below 17. It’s just that I am tired of listening to these young girls singing songs about how many cocks they can hold when they haven’t even been peed on yet.

JiggaMan, please handle your young ho protege.

rihanna

This Is The ReMix…

Sunday, June 3rd, 2007

diddy

Shouts to ROBBIE at UnKut for reminding me that the blog game is about movement and branding. Even if I am on hiatus for a few days the blog should still be kept fresh… With old material?!? Yep, because some of these drops might just be new to some of you.

Crunk & Disorderly just put her weight on DP Dot Com and if you didn’t know FRESH might have the most influential site next to Nah’Right. So I say welcome to all the good people that have found us from other sites and spaces. We are DallasPenn Dot Com, the internets most dangerous website, especially for those that can’t handle the truth.

And this right here is the ReMix…

A 40 DAWG Celeb Story…

Friday, May 18th, 2007

40

Editor’s note: 40 DIESEL out on the town in NYC.

I was rolling with my ace Ray aka “Johnny Cash” to this party for my man Dave Ortiz & Chris Keefe’s sneaker spot DQM. It was at The Beatrice on 12th Street & West 4th and while strolling through that section I remarked “This is true celebrity NYC. I wouldn’t be surprised to see like Gwynneth Paltrow buying a Nutrament or some shit.”

So I’m at the party and I’m Schillin’ like Curt with a bloody sock when the waitress asks me and my peoples to move from the table we’re at because it was “reserved”. So as I’m getting up I look and I see Lindsay Lohan. She noticed I noticed and gave the cutest smile and wave to me. So as her party was getting situated I introduced myself and asked if she wanted me to hang around there since people were coming up with their cameras. She was like “Thanks that would be so awesome. You’re really sweet!”

So I’m holding down LiLo drinking Stellas and doing what 40 does. So they’re about to leave and she asked if I could help her and crew get to the car outside. I agreed but asked if I could get the flick and she was like “Sure!”. Get the shot, clear a path and right as I’m about to go outside there’s like 20 paparazzi out there. So I was gonna cover her with my Mitchell & Ness joint but her publicist was like like “Nah if you cover her up it seems shady, just let them get their pics”. I walk out to a hail of flashbulbs and got her in the Escalade they were in. Asked if they needed my services for the rest of the night but they were just going to eat and call it a night. I wish I had a card so I could of offered my services full time. Because for $100G’s a year I’ll take care of one of these starlets…

Shit, I’ll even get a frappachino or two if she needs it…