Archive for the ‘BeYONCE’s Hair’ Category

AMERICA’s NEXT TOP H.A.M.

Friday, March 2nd, 2007

toni

I apologize to all of the loyal DP Dot Com fans that have been patiently waiting for that piffy pfft that the world’s most dangerous website is known for bringing. I’m trying to stay in the forefront of this blogosphere edutainment phenomenon and it feels like the world’s moves faster than my broadband connection sometimes. Anyhoo, with so many choices on these world wide webs I’m thankful that you spend your money here with me.

We gon’ jump off Women’s History Month with our annual Hot Ass Mess pageant. TONI BRAXTON’s twat must be on fire because for the past two years she has been airing her shit out in public. Go copp some cream for that itch TONI and I’ll still beat. Hell, even BeYONCE has hepatitis now. Or it that SASHA that was at the Sports Illustrated party?

As always, the H.A.M. movement owes a debt of recognition to Crunk and Disorderly, the mother of the this blog shit and her sister, the Concrete Loop.

AMERICA’s NEXT TOP H.A.M.

Making Little Girls Into Women Is Hard Work…

Friday, February 23rd, 2007

ashanti

Looks like the publishers are using the same art director

There’s a big push from mainstream media to highlight the fact that Hip-Hop music and rap videos are for the most part mysoginistic. Whoop dee fucking doo. For those of us that use our brains to think we understand that AMERICAN culture is mostly mysoginistic, and patriarchal, and homophobic. Blaming rap music as the source for these attitudes is totally disingenuous, but that doesn’t mean that rap music et al doesn’t play it’s own lane as a spoke in the wheel of supremacy.

When FOXY BROWN was arrested this weekend I took a minute to look at the popular Hip-Hop landscape to see what women exist within it as characters and the most prominent character that came to my mind was REMY MA. Do you realize that almost all the women that have come to rap music over the last ten years are essentially all the same person in two dimensions? The fact that background dancers in music videos are a more valuable commodity than female rappers is further proof that the lady emcee is dead. What career path do I have for a young lady with rhyme skills? There’s not even enough room to break into the celebrity filled line up of HU$TLE SIMMONS ‘Def Poetry Jam’.

I place a lot of the responsibility of teaching the youth on women and that has to stop since we are under attack as a community from multiple angles. When I say community I refer to all the people that want to live and raise their families free from the hyper-sexualization, hyper-consumerism, hyper-violence that the mainstream media machines perpetuate. The MSM does it from reality shows, to newspapers, to music CD’s. Even toy companies are conscripted to manufacture dildos for children. So how do we regular folks put a chink in the MSM’s armor? I’m planning a media blackout week for myself beginning after shabbas this weekend. No television, no radio, and even more importantly, no internets. It will be time for me to get back into reading books again.

Speaking of books… I told you about this joint last week for Valentine’s Day and the more I read inside of it the more I am in love with the poetry and the composition of the book. SUPA SISTA did her thing with this project and I beg y’all to give her a look. You won’t be disappointed. Also, she is raising a daughter and son in OUR community. That shit is hard work.
Passion, Pride and Politickin

BIMBOS GONE BANANAS…

Tuesday, February 20th, 2007

brit

A capital lettered WTF?!? as well as a ‘HO SIT DOWN!’ has to be handed to both BRITNEY SPEARS and INGA ‘Foxy Brown’ MARCHAND. These two broads have both been simultaneously spiraling downward but last week seemed to be the veritable jump off the cliff for these troubled artists.

BRITNEY has been going hard at the Los Angeles party circuit since her separation from cRap music new jack K-FED. This wouldn’t really be too much news since the company she has kept like PARIS HILTON and LINDSAY LOHAN are fairly hardbody when it comes to the after hours scenes. The big difference that BRITNEY has with these chicks is not her pop music starom, but the fact that she has two seeds waiting for her at home. This behavior makes BRITNEY no different than most of the girls that you would meet in any inner city nightclub. Those broads leave their babies at home with their mother or their younger sister or they leave them home alone with a peanut butter sandwich. A book is in the works from her personal assistant and I expect an ABC-TV afterschool special in another year or so.

For BRITNEY it’s like whatever whatever, throw some D’s on that bitch.

foxy

FOXY BROWN has been spazzing hard for several years, but I think that her hearing problem has a lot to do with her issues. That shit makes you go crazy when you lose your hearing. And you think you are talking real words but it sounds only like ridiculous retahd yelling and no one can understand you. I feel for FOXY too even though I can’t stand her rapping. I feel for her because she has to support her baby brother PRETTY BOY (real talk is that he’s not too pretty either).

FOXY’s latest epsiode popped off in a beauty salon haircare supply store. I’m seeing a pattern here. If FOXY is kept out of nail salons and beauty salons she doesn’t get arrested. That needs to be part of her probation agreement from now on. She has to order all her beauty supplies online.

Back In The Day, When I Used To Beat My Tiger…

Monday, February 19th, 2007

tigetbeat

After reposting that Valentine’s Day love letter to my O.G. beatbox wifey status VANESSA WILLIAMS I began to reminisce on all the chicks that I wanted to hit before I even knew what hitting chicks was about. All I knew was that these chicks made my lil’ man feel tingly inside so I would have to rub it out.

Who remembers Tiger Beat magazine? That joint was the precursor to Right On! and Black Beat magazines. They would have all the exclusive pictures of the teen stars on the come up along with gossipy stories about first kisses and secret crushes. That was then, this is now. A teen magazine nowadays had better have advertisements for contraceptives and alcohol if it wants to stay relevant to the kids. How sick was it that the mag to rep for the brothers was called Black Beat? Anyhoo, this drop is for all the ladies that helped me get right before I knew how to really get right.

kristy KRISTY McNICHOL
She was the jump off when I wasn’t buying comic books and collecting Star Wars figures. She was like the BeYONCE of the late seventies. There wasn’t a teen magazine that didn’t have her on the front cover. Further proof that she was the bomb is the fact that her birthday is September 11th.

erin gray ERIN GRAY
ERIN GRAY was the hot chick on the new Buck Rogers television series. She always ran around the spaceship in a spandex space suit that was unzipped down to the navel. The one good thing I can say about the future is that there will still be a place for sluts.

erin

erin

police woman ANGIE DICKINSON
Holler at me if you remember that show ‘Police Woman’? My dad loved that show so if I wanted to watch television on the night it was on that is what I would be watching. ANGIE was a hardbody bitch on that show too. Homegirl had been a playboy model and rumor has it that she balled out with JOHN F. KENNEDY too. ANGIE is also Libra so that increases her freakazoid factor exponentially.

police woman

lola LOLA FALANA
Her name was LOLA, she was a showgirl. LOLA FALANA was a moreno Cuban seductress from Camden, New Jersey. She could act, dance and sing like no triple threat talent before her time. LOLA is another chick born on September 11th. No wonder the a-rabs used that day to wile out, they were honoring birthdays of seventies sexpots KRISTY McNICHOL and LOLA FALANA.

lola


**SPECIAL ROBERT SYLVESTER KELLY SECTION**

SOLEIL PUNKY BREWSTER
Just to be clear with you chumps, I never sweated PUNKY when she was little, but I knew when she got older that I would want to smash. You ever see those ‘Got Milk’ ads? PUNKY had such big milk cans that she had to have a reduction. Check the pic of this crazy Hawaiian dude with his hand on PUNKY’s goodies. Now that’s what I’m talking about.

punky

punky

CIARA GENDER CONFIRMATION UPDATE…

Saturday, February 17th, 2007

reggie ciaraimage via BOSSIP dot com

AWWW SHIT! Now CIARA has ben rumored to be getting close with former Southern Cal Trojan REGGIE BUSH. I just hope dude wore them, but I don’t even want to think about it.

Peep how homegirl is taller than a pro football player.