Archive for the ‘BeYONCE’s Hair’ Category

BACK IN THE DAY BEATABLES

Wednesday, September 27th, 2006

ev1990

I’m not sure who had a bigger crush on EN VOGUE, me or PHIFE from a Tribe Called Quest. To my credit, I was in love with ALL of them. Of course CINDY was on the top of my list. Who in their rabbit azz mind wouldn’t want to smash a California beauty pageant queen? DAWN was hot, but I couldn’t really fuck with all the piercings and rock girl bullshit aesthetic that she morphed into post-Lucy Pearl. TERRY was my real love though. She seemed quiet and shy. Those are usually the girls that like anal.

My enfatuation subsided somewhat when my mother gave me a video for my birthday that featured EN VOGUE up close and personal. The ladies were a bit too up close with no make up or hair pieces on and a little too personal as they trash talked to one another chain smoked throughout the tape. It was my first little taste of the reality behind show business. I’ve come around to liking EN VOGUE again, just not with the same fervor in which I was willing to commit crimes for them.

At some point in my writing career I may have a chance to smash one of the girls from E.V. It won’t matter to me how old she is either. Post-menopausal women can certainly get it too. Y’all know how we do!?!

ev2006

NAS x KELIS = SO FIVE MINUTES AGO…

Tuesday, September 26th, 2006

kelis nas

The NAS and KELIS music video for ‘Blindfold Me’ looks like their amatuer homemade BDSM sex tape. It bored me. I can’t imagine that the same song and performance from BeYONCE and JAY-Z would be as boring, and NAS and KELIS actually have sex with one another. KELIS is a hot little piece of azz now that she has reaquainted herself with a hot comb. She sings like shit though. Why do we even categorize KELIS as a singer?

The video has her in a bunch of tight little latex outfits waiting to get domestically abused by her husband. I was hoping that NAS would do some choking torture routine and accidentally snap KELIS’ neck and then NAS would go to jail for murder and then he would finally make an album as good as ‘Illmatic’ was, but by the time he was released from jail no one would be listening to Hip-Hop anymore because the T.I.’s would be promoting Japanese punk rap rock and then NAS would have been sorry for living a life of musical mediocrity and losing the one woman in his life that wasn’t a complete whoare.

Now that would be a good video.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHE-HULK!

Tuesday, September 26th, 2006

she hulk

My muscular baby mama turns 25 today.

I just wish I could see her in her birthday suit.

serena

SEPARATED AT BIRTH: POETIC JUSTICE

Monday, September 25th, 2006

janet

After this I’ma leave JANET alone for like a week…

Happy 45th Birthday J.D.!

Saturday, September 23rd, 2006

jay_deezy