Guess who’s back to wearing a tennis mini-skirt?
Feast on this JOHN McENROE you homo hump.
Archive for the ‘BeYONCE’s Hair’ Category
She-Hulk Returns…
Wednesday, July 12th, 2006STACEY DASH, My 2007 Baby Mama
Sunday, July 9th, 2006
I am mad that STACEY DASH is so fucking gorgeous in the photo shoot she did for the upcoming Playboy magazine. I admit that I slept on Ms.DASH as B.M. status. Yeah, I wanted to beat her little seat, but I didn’t want to bust up in it. After I saw these photos I realized that I need to get one of her eggs. I know cloning is immoral and the whole nine, but what if you could go to the supermarket and get a carton of STACY DASH eggs? I would put those in a cup and drink them.
[Editor’s note: if you can’t open the above link you will need to get a password from BLU CHEEZ]
I feel a little fucked up about going to the newsstand and buying this magazine since I too want Black women to be portrayed by the media in the proper light. Speaking of light(ing), the scenes that Playboy is using are wonderfully lit and they really show Ms.DASH’s marvelous 40year old physique. Fuck what your heard, STACEY has made 40 the new 20 and I want to pummel fire out of her cocoa tanned backside. I want to beat her little pum pum up like she said something bad about my momma’s cooking. I want to see if I can leave my handprint on her firm, oil-sheened azz.
Getting back to the whole media image thing… I think it’s a powerful feminist statement that STACEY DASH is making by posing in Playboy. She is taking control of her image by not letting it be exploited by lesser publications like Maxim, Blender or Black Tail. Playboy is not pimping STACEY DASH, she is pimping Playboy.
Who am I kidding? The STACEY DASH Playboy mag is a collector’s item along with the VANESSA WILLIAMS Penthouse and the JAYNE KENNEDY Playboy.
STACEY DASH is the ultimate hustler.
THE MAN IN THE DAILY MIRROR
Thursday, July 6th, 2006
When was the last time that you tuned into CRUNK and Disorderly?
Be sure to hop through CONCRETE LOOP today too.
Guess who’s on the move again? Your bizzle, eM JIZZLE, was like ‘eff’ this arab shizzle in Bahrizzle, especially after DALLAS AUSTIN was cast in the real life AKON ‘Locked Up’ video. The King of Pop is going to buy a castle in Scotland to keep all of his young lovers children.
I say knock yourself out. The Europeans like his weirdo antics anyhoo. You can’t dangle no baby out a window in the States. The Admin for Child Services will be up in your shit like a tapeworm. MIKE already look like a tapeworm got into him too, wearing pajamas and house shoes everywhere.
SEPARATED AT BIRTH: SUPERMAN & SKEE BALL
Thursday, July 6th, 2006
I HEART SHE-HULK
Monday, July 3rd, 2006
Watching the tournament at Wimbledon this weekend reminded me how much I cram to understand what’s really good with SERENA WILLIAMS. Her sister VENUS is as dope as a bump of Double Dragon (circa Taft housing projects 1993), but SERENA is the truth. And when it’s time to get fly SERENA knows how to step correct.
I remember there were the rumors that she had a slight case of P-funk, but I have to be honest with y’all… I’m kind of into that. Just not too funky. But I dig chicks that can get a little musky and sweaty. In my mind sweat ain’t nothin’ but GOD’s natural lubrication.
I can imagine being in the locker room after she has had a grueling match with some chick that the crowd wanted to win. SERENA is all sweaty and emotionally spent and I start to towel dry her muscular shoulders and behind her neck. I tell her to lift her arms so that I can place the soft cotton towel around and betwen her chest. I massage her as I dry her body to alleviate some of the tension that she has built up. It’s difficult to be SERENA WILLIAMS because everybody wants to see you fail, but she manages to perservere. As I am drying her stomach with the towel, and my arms are wrapped around her, my lips kiss her clavicle. I then begin to suckle upon her neck and work my way up to the soft skin right behind her ear.
BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP
Damn, Monday morning came quick.
And so did I.
