NBA superstar ALLEN IVERSON shows us the side of his hand that he uses to discipline his wife.
Archive for the ‘Lust = Love’ Category
SECRET LIVES of GHETTO CELEBS
Thursday, May 11th, 2006It’s Hard Out Here on Immigrant Ho’s
Tuesday, May 2nd, 2006
This news item smacks of some real ‘quality of life’ issues that all the politicians are missing. Where can the single working class tax paying male get some cheap poonahnee from?
A few years ago I spent a few dollars enjoying myself along Roosevelt Avenue in Queens because that is where you could visit an apartment house and score some tight, young Mexican poon for only $20. That’s right, one ANDREW JACKSON would get you some Mexican Dominican or Mexican Salvadoran tail that was young and firm and only spoke these two words of english, “Ay Papi!”
So now the Feds are all busy busting up these businesses instead of say, arresting the KENNETH LAYs and the JEFF SKILLINGs that are robbing the working stiffs of their retirement scraps. It’s seems to be in concert with one another that you can’t enjoy yourself when your young, nor can you afford to ever stop working.
Now don’t get all morally sidetracked with the argument that these women were underaged, because if you saw a naked 16year old Mexican Dominican you would agree that she is all woman.
GRAND THEFT AUTO in Durham, N.C.
Monday, April 24th, 2006
So I am at my kid brother’s crib puffing on that CHEECH & CHONG when he shows me this secret screen inside the ‘Grand Theft Auto’ videogame.
Well blow my dick with a rubber doll! I didn’t know that you can get points on this game for killing and raping hookers. Alright, I knew it, but I never saw it done. If I were a defense attorney for one of those rapists from the Duke University lacrosse team I would be blaming everything that happened that night on this video game(and rap music).
Holy guacomole, after you have had sex with the hooker you can beat her to death and get your money back. If any of you ladies wonder why your young kids have no respect for you when you aren’t buying them shit you need to look no further than the games that he plays on the PS2 console that you bought for him.
WOMEN LOVE…
Sunday, April 9th, 2006
to rub the head of SADDAM HUSSEIN.
Can you imagine all the fun these whores will have with this one?
SPRINGTIME IS FOR LOVIN’
Friday, April 7th, 2006
or at least for jumpin’ off.
Here’s a quick list from WILLIAM H. SUNDAY of some of the places that you can go this spring season to pick up some hot young action…
1) PathMark Atlantic Terminal, Brooklyn – Too many fine chicks in one building for you to stand. They are clothes shopping on the upper floors and buying supermarket fried chicken in PathMark. Single and ready to mingle, you can pick out what kind of chick you want to date by what type of shit she has in her cart. Meat eaters, vegetarians and even those who can’t cook all come to this 24 hour supermercado. Your best bet for bagging up a hoodrat is of course, the 1st and the 15th. Ain’t a damn thing change.
2) IKEA Elizabeth, NJ – You don’t even need a whip playboy because there is a shuttle bus that will pick your scrub azz up from Port Authority. All kinds of broads love the knick-knacks and the cheap azz furniture they pump in this spot. Saturdays are straight bananas so I suggest you wear something snazzy like a freshly pressed button up and your crispy Air Force 1’s or a tight azz track jacket with a pair of those semi-brokeback Puma sneakers that all the Guido Sarducci kids love to rock. Tons of Mexxo-Latino-Philipino broads will be hanging around so brush up on your lingo by watching some SPEEDY GONZALEZ cartoons.
3) Barnes & Noble Union Square, NYC – Awww, look at you now playboy tryin’ to scrape some intelligent poonahnee. B&N is not for chumps so you had better have your shit mapped out. If you think you can crack open the legs of some well-read chick like she is the snow crab fest at Red Lobster than you have another thing coming. These chicks have read all the OPRAH/Essence magazine propaganda against meeting men. Half of them have dated a piece of plastic longer than any man. Some of these brainy chicks are so completely mesmerized by their vibrators you have to talk to them like your a honey bee. Say to a girl, “Howzzz arezzz youzzz doingzzzzzzz?” Trust me, that will get her attention. If you have the courage to do that then you can handle the rest. Sexy librarian poon might be the freakiest jawn out there.
4) Allen A.M.E. Church St.Albans, NY – Go get your GOD on nigga. If you like cream colored stilettos then you will think that you have entered the pearly gates right here on Earth. If you don’t have a shoe fetish then I wouldn’t go to church if I were you. If any of the ladies spot you eyeing the booty they will out you for being a heretic. Keep your eyes on the prize by keeping your head down. Church action is super suppressed wetness.
5) Belmont Lounge East 15th Street, NYC – This is where the NYU co-eds come to have fun. Plenty of PARIS HILTON wannabes who think that Hip-Hop music began with PUFF DADDY. These girls are young so I suggest all you old motherfuckers shave your faces. Old man at the lounge look is for hanging at the Shadow. If you want to get your ORENTHAL right then you had better look like you know a Coldplay or Modest Mouse song.
If any of you kids score something decent make sure to drop your cousin BILLY SUNDAY a line. Think of him as the Dr.PHIL of the internets.