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Archive for June, 2006

The Internets Have Spoken!

Monday, June 26th, 2006

This website is one of the last bastions of true democracy. It is a website for the people by the people who know people that like other people. Without a civilized and sophisticated readership to patrol the pages and postings on this site we might just become another place on the web for Negro nonsense that no one bothers to visit.

While doing a cursory review of the blogroll that runs along the right hand side bar of this site I came to visit the thinking man’s Hip-Hop site, OH WORD!. They broached an interesting question over there when they asked their readers if the porn photographs at DALLASPENN dot com ruin the otherwise enjoyable content that the site posts. All the commenters agreed that the porn pictures at DALLASPENN dot com made the site less then enjoyable when attempting to share the content with friends and/or co-workers.

This information is important to us here at DALLASPENN dot com. We like to think that the experience that you gain from visiting this site will be enlightening and also entertaining. Since there are only 7 people that visit this site we would consider ourselves foolish to lose 3 viewers because our image selection was inappropriate. That’s like 85% or something like that (excuse us, we went to the BONZO G DUBBZ math training academy). Even though we considered the photos of men and women in various states of undress to NOT be pornography since there were no areolas or genitalia indicated we will cease and desist form using those images on any future DALLASPENN dot com posts.

If any readers would like to visit a private phot gallery that hosts those images please send BLU CHEEZ an e-mail and he will issue you his personal password for access to those galleries. In the meantime I guess we will ask BLU CHEEZ to search his photo archive for images that will not be as offensive to the prudent readers that view this site.

Thank you for your consideration.

Posted in Black Bullshit, Jig Lit Review, Social Upheaval | 18 Comments »

SIX FLAGS DOES NOT CARE ABOUT PRISON PLATTS

Monday, June 26th, 2006

the intern

Great Adventures Six Flags is letting the jigs know that all that prison stylizing has got to go this summer. No more du-rags or prison braids (cornrows whatever) or any other gang banging bullshit will be allowed.

The management is trying to get the word out that Great Adventures is a franchise of family-based theme parks and not some gang member summer resort. Between all the nickel and diming that Six Flags does to you for parking your car, entering the park and buying your family a fucking meal I assume that they want it clearly understood that the only gangsters inside the park will be the Six Flags corporation themselves.

Posted in Black Bullshit, C.R.E.A.M., Fashion Faux Pas | 8 Comments »

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Sunday, June 25th, 2006

the holy grizzly

In Search of… The HOLY GRAIL.

Here’s another pair of shoes that I am putting a Sneaker Fiends A.P.B. out on. The NIKE Air Max 180 Premium Opium is the shoe that I have to add to my archives this summer. If anyone can help me track down a pair in size 12 I will mail you a Air Jordan 20th Anniversary tee or whatever. Just help a brother out, but first let me give you a little background on the Air Max 180 shoes.

am180 classic

We all understand that NIKE revolutionized footwear by placing packages of air within the midsoles of athletic shoes. Air weighs less than rubber or styrofoam and it immediately decreased the stress that users put on their feet with heavier shoes. The question that designers at NIKE faced was how to visually translate the patented air packages so that the consumer could finally see what they cannot see. This is the fantastic conundrum that NIKE faces. How do you show the consumer nothing? And then convince them to pay for it?

am180 bison

The problem was solved with the Air Max 1 shoe. A porthole cut into the midsole allowed the consumer to peer straight through the shoe. In 1991, the Air Max 180 brought this concept to the next level, because the air package that was inside the midsole had now become the sole itself, further decreasing the shoes weight yet increasing the shoes flexibility and performance.

am180 pinks

I love the A.M. 180’s for their design aesthetic. They look trippy. As a matter of fact, I think I was tripping off a hit of acid when I had this dream. In the year 2000, global warming will have robbed the Earth of her greatest natural resource – Air. You will have to go to retail outlets to purchase this item that was once the most democratized freedom of all, the right to breathe air. Oxygen will be a privatized resource like natural gas or oil and the companies that sell it will be similiar. I dreamt that I went into the Abraham & Strauss department store and bought myself a box of NIKE Air. To this day I aways smell my sneakers the second I remove them from the box.

am180 opium

Speaking of trippy stories, these shoes that I need for the collection are called the AIR 180 Priority Opium. This is what they do in the dark. Sick with it!

am180 opium glow

Posted in Fashion Faux Pas, Jig Lit Review, Sneaker Fiends United, The Addict | 2 Comments »

GRAFF KIDS GO PRIME TIME

Sunday, June 25th, 2006

dare piece

If you ever were down for ‘getting up’, or if you ever wanted to be a graff kid this is your week. Come celebrate your style at the Brooklyn Museum of Art. On Friday, June 30, the museum will open a fully comprehensive exhibition titled ‘Graffiti’ and will feature murals and photographs from some of the arts’ great legends.

On Saturday, July 1, the Museum hosts its monthly ‘First Saturday‘ party and the theme will revolve around the ‘Graffiti’ exhibition. The Museum will be screening the seminal Hip-Hop doc ‘Style Wars’, as well as ‘Wild Style’ and ‘DAVE CHAPPELLE’s Block Party’ all for free. In the education hall children will be taught how to create a tag with their names using markers and paint. There will be music and dancing all day inside the sculpture garden featuring some of Brooklyn’s finest B-boy break beat deejays.

The best thing about all of this is that it is FREE. So bring your kids if you have some, and make sure that you look sharp. You never know who you might meet at one of these events.

graff kid