Archive for August, 2006

Pop Music Singers Are Putting Ho’s Out Of Business

Wednesday, August 16th, 2006

Mz.B

I have to say that GLAMAZON was talking to me about this subject a while back. Pop music singers are pushing street walkers and ho’s out of business because they are making sex too accessible and too cheap. They’re also making it too young for their immature adolescent consumers to understand it’s ramifications.

This isn’t to say that pop music singers weren’t always glorified prostitutes, both men and women. A bunch of skanky street hustlers with some glitter shirts on. Shaking their money makers for old white men who incidentally preferred men to women. How you doin’ DIDDY?!? The bottom line was that they were all grown azz people and even though it was still pop music their image did not appeal to a younger audience. There were no little girls dressing like the Mary Jane Girls

mary jane girls

or better yet, VANITY 6.

vanity 6

These were grown azz ho’s and everybody knew that. When they sung about giving oral sex or sticking a finger up a man’s asshole you knew they knew what they were talking about. When I hear sixteen year old CASSIE sing about giving head I have to ask myself, “Self, does this pretty face really know how to lick the underside of my balls as well as tongue kiss my taint?”

assie

Or is she just another pretty face all dolled up in grown woman’s make up? Now don’t get me wrong, I am all for young woman expressing their natural biological desires, if they feel like they have to. ROBERT SYLVESTER KELLY picks up my slack when the age meter dips below 17. It’s just that I am tired of listening to these young girls singing songs about how many cocks they can hold when they haven’t even been peed on yet.

JiggaMan, please handle your young ho protege.

rihanna

All Day I Dream About STALIN…

Tuesday, August 15th, 2006

fidel

or FIDEL CASTRO, Superstar!

I was like, “Awwwwww ish! Look who took a trick out of TUPAC’s manbag and brought himself back from the dead?!?”

FIDEL CASTRO is looking mighty snazzy in that Adidas track suit too. If I were styling him I would have gone with a more socialist look like a Blue Ribbon Sports warm-up jacket, but I guess I’m just a company man through and through.

So now I think the only logical question that is next for FIDEL to answer is which pair of Superstars to rock?

fidel

IT’s A MOVEMENT…

Tuesday, August 15th, 2006

young ronald

That you need to get in tuned with.

The Ghetto Big Mac as interpreted by Canada’s brightest youths.

The Importance Of Being Curtis…

Tuesday, August 15th, 2006

curtis & gay jay

Since we last checked in on the Oscar Wilde love triangle melodrama between CURTIS JACKSON, JAYCEON TAYLOR and JEFFREY ATKINS we thought that FITTY had moved on now and was in love with the lil’ lil’ homies that hail from the Queensbridge projects.

lil' p

Too bad the Littles latest album project wasn’t a street classic. I guess there’s always the ‘Shook Ones’ ringtones when the Littles decide they want to get their paper back up. CURTIS meanwhile has been looking every bit the part of some young rapper’s forlorn father. Where is YOUNG BUCK right now to lift his spirits? Only 12 months ago it seemed like the G-Unit juggernaut was set to take over the planet. Their logo was emblazoned on everything in the streets. There was a book, a movie and a soundtrack CD that made me think that Fifty Cent had taken over a broadcasting satellite. In a years’ time he has come back to Earth to remind me that he is still human.

JAYCEON TAYLOR has to be from Hollywood or he has one of the hardest working P.R. firms grinding for him. He has kept his name, GAME, circulating on Hip-Hop websites as frequently as dead TUPAC releases albums. GAYME gets arrested for some fantastic throwback crimes that remind me of someone living out their lost childhood.

gayme

Brass knuckles and wearing a mask in public are completely 1980’s type offenses. Somebody check GAYME’s birth certificate and make sure he wasn’t born in 1970. GAYME’s new music video should find a way to increase the tensions between him and CURTIS. I’m not sure why these guys put us through all of this when I know they just want to kiss and make up.

kiss

If they are going to continue to carry on this charade of being so angry that they could kill a brick I say they should go to Iraq and help relieve some of our fatigued and famished family members.

Like the Littles are fond of saying, “There’s a war going on outside…”

ewoks

Follow The Guns, Find The Gangsters…

Tuesday, August 15th, 2006

x wing

***NERD ALERT***NERD ALERT***NERD ALERT***

I was watching Star Wars Episode III for like the fifty-eleventh time and I realized that the Galactic Republic used a prototype of the X-Wing fighter pictured above. It was called the the ARC-170 (Agressive Reconaissance Craft) and it was created for use in the Clone Wars. The ARC had a tri-foil design that resembled an ‘X’ when it was fully deployed. The position of the laser cannons, the round cylindrical engines and the use of an astromech droid for navigation was remarkably reminiscient of the X-Wing fighters used exclusively throughout the latter battles against the Galactic Empire.

x wing

Here’s what blows my mind… The Galactic Republic becomes the Galactic Empire when Emperor Palpatine goes hardbody and strong arms the Senate. You would have to assume that the contractors and vendors that are manufacturing equipment and services to the Republic continue to do so for the Empire. Or else they risk getting choked out by Darth Vader (the B.M.F.O.A.T.). So Incom Corp., the company that makes the ARC fighter, develops the new X-Wing and they secretly sell them to the Rebel forces.

x wing

The next question becomes, how do these Rebel forces pay Incom Corp. for these starfighters? Do they use Republic credits? Doesn’t the Galactic Empire make Republic credits worthless so in that way they can regulate trade throughout the galaxy? Like if you don’t have the new money with the Emperor’s face on it you can’t buy shit. Although that might create dissension among the planets that were already wealthy and bankrolling the Emperor in the first place. Anyhoo…

Skipping over to Earth1 or Earth Prime as some folks like to call this planet. I noticed that multi-national corporations that build weapons systems for the United States simultaneously create weapons systems for countries that we may not consider “freedom loving”. Do you remember the plane from the movie ‘Top Gun’? It was called the F-14 Eagle.

f14 eagle

The company that created the F-14 Eagle was called GRUMMAN. In the 1990’s due to a mini-recession and the end of the Cold War, U.S. military funding for hard item weapons systems like aircraft was cut down causing the military industrial complex to shrink in some areas. GRUMMAN merged with Northrop, while Boeing took over McDONNELL-DOUGLAS. What I didn’t know was that companies like GRUMMAN and Boeing weren’t just selling domestic aircraft to foreign nations but also hard item weapons systems like fighter planes. The Islamic Republic of Iran Air Force has several squadrons composed of these F-14 jets.

f14 eagle

Please explain to me exactly what part of the game that is? Do we sell weapons systems to foreign countries so that our planes have someone to play with? Let’s keep in mind that the U.S. has moved on since the F-14 and we are now ‘EFFING’ with the Raptor series of fighter jets from Lockheed MARTIN, at a cost of $360mil per aircraft?!? Who the fuck can afford these planes?

In my search for the truth it has become obvious that war is big business, but only for whomever is making the bullets.