Archive for September, 2006

I’m With Stupid…

Thursday, September 7th, 2006

bubba and dubya

This used to be my favorite time of the year when I was a kid because I was going back to school and I would get to see who my new classmates were and if any of them were cool or assbags. There’s a similiar anxiety on Capitol Hill and throughout the Beltway in D.C. as politicians scramble to shore up their platforms prior to the ‘midterm’ elections. These are desperate times in Washington and a lot of the Senatorial flunkies may be collecting unemployment checks while they play golf this winter.

For being a bunch of pussies and letting the Administration walk over them to squash our civil liberties they all should know what its like to be one paycheck from living in a refrigerator box inside a public park.

Looks like politricks makes for strange bedfellows. The Senators were so haughty to harraunge BILL CLINTON for his cigar fellating intern, but no one is man enough to say that we are losing two many of our sons to the desert. None of these fools is brave enough to restore the ethics and integrity that was the lynchpin for working class idealogy. Corporations take their working class jobs everywhere but here. We are even outsourcing the labor for the rebuilding of the Gulf Coast. Not surprisingly though, the reconstruction work is moving as fast as a filibustered bill for healthcare reform. Let’s not even discuss the educational needs that we are facing. Let’s just hope that the worker of tomorrow only need to know how to operate a PlayStation controller.

And with the seams seemingly unraveling before our very eyes there is still only one thing that really matters…

“It’s the economy stupid!”

(click above^ it’s a link)

BLU CHEEZ Cruises For Kiddie Poontang…

Thursday, September 7th, 2006

mamita chula

or, If You Can’t Beat ‘Em, Eat ‘Em.

I vowed never to open a MySpace page since it reminded me of all the other crappy social network forums that I could never really be a part of. BlackPlanet, MiGente, Friendster, Match dot com, etc. I registered for all of them and I created a nice little page that was cool and the gang, but I never really made any friends or otherwise. For whatever reason the people could sense that I really didn’t belong. I guess it was because I didn’t know any of the cool HTML codes or the abbreviations to phrases like laughing my ass off and be right back. On BlackPlanet I did become semi-cool with this wild broad from L.A. that had three by three (3×3). Three kids and three baby daddies. Truth is that might have been my steez in my teens or my early twenties, but those are ultimately the types of broads that get you shots. Gunshots, or shots of penicillin.

Anyhoo…

This MySpace shit is bananas. Yeah, it’s obviously filled with the type of folks that I have utter contempt for. People that are essentially sheep just waiting to be herded on to the next hula hoop fad, but there also seems to be an undercurrent of serious, provactive thought going on in there. People that can think outside of the box who are just waiting to connect with someone from the mothership. I need to reach these folks and let them know where it’s going down at.

Awww, who are we kidding?!? There’s a shiiteload of horny young broads over there and daddy needs a brand new pair of Air Max Premiums.

Holler at BLU CHEEZ on MySpace.

Et Tu ERNESTO, Et Tu?!?

Thursday, September 7th, 2006

nike che

It seems that between Hurricane ERNESTO and the usual ‘back-to-school’ flurry of consumer activity retail sales are up slightly for the 3Q (third quarter, bitches). I suppose this is good news on one hand because that should get us to the end of the year without and marked downturn. Most of us really go into debt in the next three months with all the traveling and gift giving associated with the end of the year. I still find it ironic that CHE is making money for us capitalist pigs any way that he can.

The real funny part of this post is how money magazines talk about retailers and companies salivating over back to school sales, but nobody gets hype for an education system that works. With the schools going to shit at least the parents will have their kids looking good.

HIP-HOP IS NOT ART…

Wednesday, September 6th, 2006

mantronix

MANTRONIX ‘Needle To The Groove’ cover by Gnome/Gemini

Did I tell you that Hip-Hop should have been diagnosed with the cancer of greed from the moment that the SugarHill Gang dropped their classic track ‘Rapper’s Delight’. If one of the members of the group had not willingly stolen GRANDMASTER CAZ’ rhymebook and brought it with him to the studio them dudes wouldn’t have had shit to say. Hip-Hop stopped being art a long time ago. It’s been dead for a long time too. All I see now are the cultural hustlers picking scraps off the carcass just like vultures. I see you out there…

When COMBAT JACK expressed himself last week I was going to let that be the end of the story since he bodied the dude who had been the lightning rod for the divisive seperatist talk. I don’t come from a place in Hip-Hop where there is a thing such as old school or new school, ’70s or ’80s baby. Where I come from there is only fresh and wack, good or bad. Don’t buy product or ideas from a seperatist. They might have on a fitted cap and a hoodie, but trust me they are only posing. They aren’t really Hip-Hop. Another thing that has killed Hip-Hop has been the people with no talent thirsty to wear the laminate that reads ‘Talent’. If any of you young dunns out there are trying to put yourself onstage please don’t put your trust in management that puts their name before yours.

Whenever I see an A & R or a manager that has a thirsty gut for the ‘Talent’ laminate I feel sorry for the artist that they are supposed to be working for. The artists needs are not going to be addressed when the A & R or the managment is doing everything other than working on the artists’ project. I watched my peoples work at Rawkus and bust their ass for the stable of musicians that were on that label. MOS, TALIB, PHAROE and the immortal BIG L had a team of people behind them that could have easily wanted to jump around on stage with a microphone they damn selves, but those cats played their position and rocked their lane. Some of y’all might know some of the names and that is my point right there. For the true backbone and support staff in the game there is no lust for fame that supersedes the desire to have the artist top billin’. If you are an A & R or an artist manager I should not know your name. Even if you have groomed dozens of artists for the big show I still should not know your name. If I know of you but don’t know of any musicians you have prepared for the grind then you are fronting. There ain’t no future in fronting.

Speaking about fronting, what it do with all the ghostwriting in the crap game? I stopped by ESKAY and picked up the Dre/Crooked I track and I thought it was weird that someone was spitting something obviously written to be performed by someone else. Crooked I didn’t even apend the verses to sound as if her were an emissary of Dre. He spit the rhymes as if HE was Dre. What the fuck is that about? I know that Dre has dudes writing for him since forever. Cube, D.O.C., Snoop even Jigga gave him a song or two, but this episode calls into question the rumors that I have heard for years that Dre doesn’t even produce his tracks.

What is real and originally created in the crap music industry now? Which is worse, biting someone’s rhymes or writing someones’ lyrics? Is it fair for those artists that create the persona and toil in background? Or does all of this go back to my point at the top of the page? Is this the lane that some folks choose for themselves or is it being assigned to them? Hip-Hop lost its way in the bright lights of big business and was run over like a deer caught dead in the headlights of a corporate Mack truck. All that’s left now is a rotting carcass for the vultures to pick away.

BLACK WOMEN = SCARY x (2)BOSSY

Wednesday, September 6th, 2006

black women

You do the math!

Thank goodness I have a broad’s opinion to buttress this post against, or all of you developmental studies graduate degreed dreadlocked feministas from North Carolina Community College would be bringing your pink pitchforks to my door. Y’all still got a chip on your shoulder ’cause that Duke case is smelling like another TAWANA BRAWLEY. People need to stop hating the messenger just because they don’t want to hear the message.

JOY JONES is one of y’all whether you believe me or not. She submits her essays to the Washington Post. You might remember her jawnt, ‘Marriage Is For White People‘. Well now Ms. JONES has turned it up a notch to explain, ne, ‘splain why most of you Black women aren’t fulfilling your domestic birthright of holy matrimony as ordained by the baby Jesus Christ. She calls this winner, ‘Why Are Black Women Scaring Off Their Men?: A Fighting Spirit Is Important-But Not At Home‘. But you can read all of that later on your own time.

This is my time now hotdammit and I want to know what is more important than serving me (in the collective royal sense – the Black man)?!? Don’t you understand that we are being attacked constantly at the workplace (those of us that have jobs) and in the media (those of us that read newspapers, watch television) so much that all we would like would be to come home and have a warm meal and a pair of slippers at the door. But nooooooo, you have a meeting tonight with the exec admin staff about the new memo pad format. BOLSHEVIK!!! So it’s another night of microwave turkey breast for us and the kids that we picked up from the sitter. Fine. And then on nights that you are home it’s spaghetti. Again. We don’t give a fuck if you have put fresh garlic in the pasta. We have spaghetti 15 times a fucking month.

We wish we had the chance to have sex with you as often as we eat your spaghetti. You were such a sassy women when we were dating. Your sex appeal was out the roof. We were open for cunnilingus too. As a matter of fact, we got so good at it we became cunnilingual. You graciously shared your chocolate starfish with us. The only time I get to see that now is when you are showing me your ass during a discussion. You knew that we were working at a blue collar profession. Because we say save for life insurance and you say save for retirement doesn’t make us outmoded. We were a team before, Batman and Robin, and we are not going to be playing the position of Robin. Extra no LUTHER VANDROSS’ shoulder pad glitter jacket.

What we need is for you to play your position. Sit back in the passenger seat while we drive this family through the ups and downs. We’ll occassionally ask you for some directions. Just don’t cop an attitude when we don’t follow them. We love y’all to death, we just need for y’all to simmer down, stay sexy and shut the fuck up.