Archive for October, 2006

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The DP dot com Football Pool (Wk 5)

Thursday, October 5th, 2006

boys

I’m all hype for this weekend because I get to see where my Cowboys rank inside of the NFC East. Philadelphia has been a tough matcchup for us the last few years since DONOVAN McNABB came to Broad Street. I hope T.O. has a monster afternoon, but I really need our running game to get off the skids. This weekend will go a long way to letting me know if the ‘Boys are built for January.

I told you I wasn’t betting against the Ravens this week. Since them dudes is playing on Monday night they won’t be in our pool this weekend. I am ready for them to lose a game too. Who do these dudes think they are? The ’72 Dolphins?!? (LM, that is the right year, right?) Anyhoo, Chicago returns to the pool this weekend as well as the Giants. I’m hoping that the ‘Skins can beat the Giants and send the New York football beat writers into a frenzy. How many NFL coaches have been fired before week 6 (LM knows the answer).

BUFFALO BILLS @ CHICAGO BEARS
Buffalo wings versus bratwurst equals massive indigestion. Chicago’s defense gets in done in the windy city.

MIAMI DOLPHINS @ NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS
I keep putting Miami in the pool because ALEX 2.0 is in love with DUANTE CULPEPPER. Face it ALEX 2.0, DUANTE is gay and so are the Dolphins. Patriots handle their B.I.

TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS @ NEW ORLEANS SAINTS
The swamp at the SuperDome is where you can find decomposing corpses and CHRIS SIMMS spleen. I’m not exactly sure what a spleen is, but not having one sounds like a problem. The Saints will rip the spleen from the Bucs arses and then eat it.

WASHINGTON REDSKINS @ NEW YORK GIANTS
Try to imagine all the losers in NYC that live for sports talk radio. If the Giants lose this game what happened to those little Amish girls will seem like a picnic compared to the carnage of balding middle aged males from New Jersey coming up from their basements to choke their mothers. Thank GOD for the Giants.

KANSAS CITY CHIEFS @ ARIZONA CARDINALS
Now that the Chiefs have a win under their belt its time to return back to the cellar of the AFC West. Arizona rookie QB MATT LEINART gets fat off poor KC defense.

NEW YORK JETS @ JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS
This is a tough one and I’m going to have to go with my head and say that the Jags need this game for some eemotional stability. After being pwned by Washington in OT the Jags will show some urgency and resolve early in this game.

DALLAS COWBOYS @ PHILADELPHIA EAGLES
You know my steez…

I am so feeling seven for seven this week. You don’t have to rush your picks since the post stays active all weekend, just make sure that you drop your picks before the first game’s kickoff.

Posted in Sports are Gay | 32 Comments »

WIG OWNERS > WIG BRUSHERS: The LIBERACE Edition

Wednesday, October 4th, 2006

liberace

Show that Wig Owner LIBERACE some respect. He would rather die from the AIDS than let you see him without his wig right. Chances are that your grandma wanted to brush his wig too.

liberace

LIBERACE brought the bling to the Wig Owning game too. Full length furs and hand jewelry that are inspiring young DipSetters to this very day. LIBERACE used his somewhat sketchy musical talent and tremendous pop music appeal to transorm himself into an international Wig Owner. No one really knows who brushed LIBERACE’s wigs, but we can all agree that he owned many. You can see LIBERACE’s influence on some of today’s popular music Wig Owners…

keys

ALICIA KEYS = WIG OWNER
Just like LIBERACE, sketchy piano talent plus tons of mass appeal have given Mrs.KEYS a lot of wigs to be brushed, and no one really knows for sure who brushes ALICIA’s wigs, but I have my suspicions…

kerry keys KRUCIAL KERRY KEYS = ALLEGED WIG BRUSHER
Also known as MC Hat 2 Big he has been photographed holding ALICIA’s arm from time to time. This is one Wig Brusher that we like to call a ‘Beard’. And I’m not talking goatee, you hear me Mz.Peaches?

piddy PUFF DIDDY = WIG OWNER
Just when you think this fool done ran out of wigs… BAM! Take that, take that.

kim KIM PORTER = ALL STAR WIG BRUSHER
This Wig Brusher makes little babies out of nappy Yak tracks. When AL B. SURE lost all the moisture and lustre from his ‘good hair’ wig KIM PORTER went and got herself a Bad Boy

misa MISA HYLTON-BRIM = WIG BRUSHER’s WIG BRUSHER
If Wig Brusher’s ever form a union, MISA will be like the shop steward or something.

brit BRITNEY SPEARS = WIG OWNER
Whenever she wants to buy some new wigs she just sells pictures of her unborn fetus to People magazine.

brit KEVIN FEDERLINE-SPEARS = WIG BRUSHER
You don’t easily go from backup dancer to Wig Owner. J-HO did it, but look where her dancer husband ended up, and isn’t that dude that seeded Madonna back to returning cans and bottles in order to pay his rent?

janet JANET JACKSON = WIG OWNER
Miss JACKSON has been accumulating wigs since her days on ‘Good Times’.

bigfoot baby girl JERMAINE DUPRI = WIG BRUSHER
He studied well, and learned just the right amounts of moisturizer that the JACKSON family requires.
hustle

Did anyone peep the OPRAH last week where JANET JACKSON brought out JERMAINE DUPRI but he wasn’t allowed to speak?!? It’s not like J.D. has no talent at all either. He helped MARIAH CAREY get her wigs tight again. I feel like telling dude to man the fuck up, but then again, he seems kind of happy.

You know who stays on some perpetual happy shit? Supreme cultural hustler RUSSELL SIMMONS be on that cash money wig owner yoga shit like what. He got so many wigs he don’t even need to wear one, but if he did you better believe it would be brushed like a motherfucker.

hustle

hustle RUSSELL SIMMONS = WIG OWNER
From Def Jam to the Phat Farm, RUSSELL knows how to make jigs spend that loot. He has followed in the steps of wig owners like BERRY GORDY Jr. and QUINCY JONES to establish himself as one of the al time great hustlers of Black music and culture.

miss kay KIMORA LEE SIMMONS = WIG BRUSHER
A more sassy wig brusher you’d be hard pressed to find. She’s so high maintenance that she even needs her own wig brusher.

paris MISA HYLTON-BRIM = WIG BRUSHER’s WIG BRUSHER
Have brush, will travel.

Posted in BeYONCE's Hair, Black Bullshit, C.R.E.A.M., Crappers, Fashion Faux Pas, Ghetto Celebs | 22 Comments »

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Wednesday, October 4th, 2006

am90

Speaking of sneakers…

I have to put NIKE on blast this time for cynically shitting on me and a bunch of the collectors that represented last Saturday for the ‘One Time Only’ releases. NIKE was billing the releases of these funky Air max shoes as some kind of major event and the kids were lining up their tents and sleeping bags outside of the city’s sneaker freak boutiques for a chance to copp some of that rare Air.

I say major event because there was all kinds of street buzz about the shoes from the skate parks downtown up to the afterschool hot spot hangouts along 125th Street. I was into my own thing the night before the release, but I still went through one of the local shops to peep out some of the true believers.

recon

recon

recon

Shouts to JESSE JAMES and his crew for holding it down and repping the lifestyle. Chilling with these dudes for a hot minute reminded me of why I still collect. Our love for all things that NIKE pushes is a passion that borders on insanity. You devote yourself to the brand in the belief that they actually care about your feelings and that they want to please you. After a few days of looking at my ‘One Time Only’ shoes I feel like NIKE played me and all of the collectors that bought into this project. A simple shoebox makes me feel like this.

When NIKE unfurls any major design event they create a package that commemorates the design in the storage system of the shoes as well. For the LeBRONS, the Untold Truth and the Air Max 360, NIKE crafted a box that immediately described the idea that you had purchased something special from the brand. The ‘One Time Only’ shoe had a price tag over two hundred dollars which is interesting since the original shoes that these styles are all developed from have sticker prices well below that figure. The shoebox that NIKE isued with these sneakers is the same one used for their general releases.

pushead

pushead

I’m not asking for an SB box like the one above, but NIKE is charging me way too much to come to the table with a cheap azz G.R. orange box. With all the artwork that was created for this limited release of shoes you would have thought that NIKE appreciated their fans enough to go the extra mile. PRE always went the extra mile.

kidrobot

Where is the love Beaverton?

Posted in C.R.E.A.M., Fashion Faux Pas, Sneaker Fiends United, Straight Laced, The Addict | 14 Comments »

All Day I Dream About Strikeouts…

Wednesday, October 4th, 2006

the doctor

It’s prah’lee my fault because I was overconfident and cocky thinking about the Fall Classic being played at the crappy, yet endearing Shea Stadium. Why wouldn’t it happen? We had WILLIE in the driver’s seat and the ‘Lil’ Superstar’ on the hill. Plus, it was like what, twenty years ago that New York City was turned out by one of the most colorful lineups ever in the game of baseball(not to shit on the Oakland Athletics dynasty from the early ’70s, but this was NYC).

Thanks to RAFI for sending me this photo…

kids

This photo is a sad reminder of the greatness and granduer that occupied these boros. The people over at DeadSpin compared them to CY YOUNG, TED WILLIAMS and JOE LOUIS. That was their downfall too. The New York City stage is unforgiving when you don’t have your act together. The other New York City guy at this time that was missing from that ill-fated picture was the Association’s 1986 Rookie of the Year.

pat

PATRICK EWING had a signature pair of kicks that Adidas released in 1986. I had to cop a pair because they went with all the Mets shit I was rocking so heavy that summer. Let’s just say that one of the fringe benefits to working at the stadium was the access to free I.T.’s.

tude ADIDAS ‘Attitude’
These joints were sick because the colorways repped for the Knicks, the Mets and for New York State. I think I even came up on these through some chicanery too. MEGATRON took me shopping one day and showed me how not to buy a pair of sneakers from store. We’ll discuss that on another day.

metro

metro

metro

Then Adidas went and fucked up the game by creating a pair of metrosexual sneakers. They’re even called the Metro-Attitude (no CAM’RON to these kicks). It wasn’t about looking backwards to see the future for this Mets team. I was ready to create a new paradigm for this club. I was calling the NIKE Air Force II’s my ‘Vote For Pedro’ sneakers. I should have known that things weren’t going to last when LM was the only guy to buy one of my ‘Vote For Pedro‘ t-shirts.

the doctor

Posted in Black Bullshit, Fashion Faux Pas, Ghetto Celebs, Sneaker Fiends United, Sports are Gay, Straight Laced, T.O.N.Y., The Addict, When I Reminisce... | 6 Comments »

JANET, JERMAINE & JUSTIN: Three’s Company

Tuesday, October 3rd, 2006

janestin

I know that y’all are tired of hearing about the travails of babygirl JANET and her various boytoys, but someone hipped me to a news item that she and JUSTIN are trying to work things out. Even though Vanilla Soul threw homegirl under the bus, she still has a soft spot in her heart for the blonde USHER.

If she gives him a reprieve I will allow his crappy music to be discussed on this website. I’m still not going to buy that shiite and I suggest that all of you do the same. There are enough file sharing programs floating around the internet that I don’t need to spend good money on any of the asswater crap that has been released lately. Artists went from making classic albums to disco singles. Now they have gone from disco singles to straight up bolshevik.

As a side bet to all of you DP dot com football poolers, do you want to take some side action on the fact that JANET and JERMAINE are never going to get married?

Posted in BeYONCE's Hair, Crappers, Ghetto Celebs | 6 Comments »

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