Me, personally, I’ll be painting my door bucks with lambs blood, just in case SHAWN CARTER, ORENTHAL JAMES SIMPSON and BARACK OBAAMA are actually the Cerberus standing before the gates of Hell.
Archive for October, 2006
18 DAYS UNTIL ‘KINGDOM COME’
Thursday, October 26th, 2006The DP dot com Football Pool (Wk 8)
Thursday, October 26th, 2006
The Cowboys are really effing with my prediction of a 12-4 season record and SuperBowl berth. You still won’t see me throw them under the bus like LM did with his beloved Redskins, but that’s just the kind of fan that I am.
The football pool is moving right along and I am getting ready to add some features that will allow the folks in the rear of the pack a chance to make up some ground. Nothing could be better than a photo finish during the last week of the season. This week’s lineup is the most difficult to pick so far that I’ve chosen. Even CANDICE will have a tough time going seven for seven with these games. Let’s take a look at lineup…
ARIZONA CARDINALS @ GREEN BAY PACKERS
MATT LEINART, The Future vs. BRETT FAVRE, The Past. The Cardinals win in Wisconsin will finally close the book on FAVRE’s career.
ATLANTA FALCONS @ CINCINNATI BENGALS
I’m hoping for another lights out scoring game from these two teams and the difference should go to Atlanta’s running game over Cincy’s revamped defense.
BALTIMORE RAY-VENS @ NEW ORLEANS SAINTS
These are not your parent’s paperbag hat Saints, and these are not the RAY-vens from week 1. The Saints are invincible in the swamp.
HOUSTON TEXANS @ TENNESSEE TITANS
VINCE YOUNG is going to make his hometown Houston sorry they didn’t select him in the draft. But just not this weekend.
JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS @ PHILADELPHIA EAGLES
After some questionable losses by both of these teams I don’t look for any postseason thunder coming from either of these clubs. In the battle of the burly Black quarterbacks I am giving the advantage to the guy with the sicker name, BYRON LEFTWICH.
NEW YORK JETS @ CLEVELAND BROWNS
Former Patriots assistants whose teams are moving in different directions. ROMEO CRENNEL, like DENNIS GREEN and ART SHELL, with be another jig coach down at the unemployment office come January.
INDIANAPOLIS COLTS @ DENVER BRONCOS
I love how ALEX2.0 calls PEYTON MANNING by his Hip-Hop name ‘DJ LONGNECK’. I have hated on MANNING from the gate, but I hate JAKE PLUMMER and MIKE SHANAHAN almost as much. This annoys me that I am picking the Colts, but then I remind myself that TONY DUNGY gave his son to GOD in exchange for a Super Bowl ring.
Okay poolers, press play…
SEND IN THE CLONES…
Thursday, October 26th, 2006
In the ongoing quagmire that has become the former country known as Iraq, we see the rebel insurgents now taking pages from the Hezbollah playbook. A captured U.S. soldier is desperately sought by Iraqi police and U.S. troops in the city of Baghdad. The Iraqi police who were overwhelmed by insurgent forces called in the U.S. Air Force to strike a suspected stronghold.
Just as we saw in Israel, when you call in the warplanes is when all the shit hits the proverbial air redistribution device. Were the insurgents bombed into tomorrow? We aren’t really sure. Someone was and I suppose that is all you can ask for in war. If they weren’t insurgents already, at least they won’t have a chance to become a thorn in our feet. The U.S. offensive in Iraq has been so protracted and prolonged that any support that may have been available from the Iraqis at large is evaporating like water in the desert.
The Commander in Chief is a stand-up guy, but unfortunately, its stand-up in the comedic sense. BUSH acknowledges that the Iraqi situation is such a clusterfuck that the Administration’s slogan ‘Stay The Course’ has been replaced by ‘Well, At Least It’s Not Vietnam’. And it’s definitely not butter either. Between the “terrorists, insurgents, illegal militias, armed groups and criminals” where’s an Iraqi civilian to find some solace and respite? It certainly won’t come from U.S. warplanes and their so-called smart bombs. Being Black in America doesn’t look so bad right now.
I suspect that the ‘November Surprise’ that General Grievous KARL ROVE and the G.O.P. have planned for us will be when ConDarth CONDOLEEZA RICE puts the Force choke out on Admiral Romodi Motti DONALD RUMSFELD. The Republicans think that the firing of DONALD RUMSFELD will somehow mitigate the fact that we haven’t figured out a strategy for fixing Iraq. It illustrates the cynicism that the Republican administration holds for the voters here, but its a tactic that has worked time and time again.
The truth is that Iraq is going to get even worse before it gets better and soon after the November elections the president will be looking to increase the troop levels via the draft. It’s time to send in the clones…
“FISTY SCENT Don’t Scare Me” – GAYME
Thursday, October 26th, 2006
Say what you want about JAYCEON ‘GAYME’ TAYLOR’s questionable ryhme skills and on-screen persona, give that fool credit for being one helluva marketing genius. GAYME manages to stay in the headlines at major Hip-Hop resources on the internets like XXLmag and NAH’RIGHT. All of this while working off a budget that has seen no major label CD release in two years.
Although I’m beginning to get a little bored with his love affair with FISTY SCENT. You can’t ask GAYME a question about his new album without him volunteering a comment about FISTY. It looks like someone is still a little sore over not being the apple of the doctor’s eye.
CLIVE DAVIS, The Music Biz #1 Wig Supplier…
Wednesday, October 25th, 2006
A shout goes out to the website ‘A Salute To Weed Carriers‘. Without Weed Carriers some of the world’s greatest entertainers would be performing inside a correctional facility as someone’s bitch.
Wig Brushers are equally important because they make entertainers look good. Not just by styling their hairpieces, but by adding that sheen and lustre that the Wig Owners need to feel good about themselves. Some of the greatest Wig Owners in the game don’t even wear any of their own wigs. They’re smart enough to give these wigs to younger, more energetic and more attractive entertainers who might be able to create future Wig Owners in their own right.
Look at Wig Owner QUINCY JONES. He never wears a Wig himself even though his pate can get a bit shiny at some of these open bar soirees. Instead he gives Wigs to guys like JEFFREY OSBORNE and HERB ALPERT. The same goes for HUSTLE SIMMONS. He is quick to give a few Wigs to the Irving Gottis of the rap game even though Irv wasted his Wigs by sharing them with a known drug dealer. Nobody has given out more Wigs than CLIVE DAVIS. There would be no music industry in Atlanta if not for CLIVE DAVIS’ Wig salon and beauty shoppe called Arista Records.
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WIGNEY HOUSTON I can’t even begin to name all the jig Wig Owners that come from that Arista salon but I remember that WIGNEY HOUSTON, was CLIVE’s platinum baby doll until she started getting high on her own supply. |
BABYFACE, who incidentally has a disturbingly young looking face, and L.A. REID were once Wig Owning partners who developed younger Wig Owners to follow in their footsteps. OUTKAST and JERMAINE DUPRI learned about Wig Owning from LaFace. Just like T.L.C. took the steps by ‘brushing to own’ that they were taught by PEBBLES. There were some Wig Brushers brought under the umbrella just to diddle CLIVE’s berries (yes MARK FOLEY). Too bad we all learned too late that KRISS KROSS wore their pants backwards to give CLIVE easy access to their little poop chutes. That’ll make you jump around for sure.
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VELVET REVOLVER What kinds of guns and roses would the Velvet Mafia use? Velvet Revolvers you dumbazz. At least that’s what I heard (no LUTHER VANDROSS Care Free Curls Wig). |
More than 50 years in the Wig Supply business means that CLIVE DAVIS has enough clout to make a Wig Owner out of career Wig Brushers. Who’s wearing the Wigs now you WAYANS bitches?!?
Sometimes you don’t just give away Wigs, but you even lend a beard.
I give CLIVE maxmium hardbody points for being able to withstand STAR JONES body odor long enough to kiss her – bleah!
Most of all, being the music business number one Wig supplier means that you have pockets deep enough to foot the tab for an open bar event with this broad. Trust me though, she’s not pouring Mr.DAVIS’ champagne on her feet.
