Archive for November, 2006

Wedding Plans (And The NYPD) Are Still Killing Black Men…

Sunday, November 26th, 2006

jigsuit

If this were the story of some poor Black bastard being married to a greedy golddigger who offed him for an insurance check I would still consider getting married, but this is the story of the New York Police Department sending more than 50 bullets into a three man wedding party consisting of colored men. More than 50 bullets and one of the police officers actually emptied his weapon TWICE. Someone had to die that night. Too bad it was the groom. I hope the family can get a refund from the catering hall.

The story is being circulated by all the supremacists’ media outlets so I will do my part to give you the unfiltered, raw, uncut truth about what happened that night. If you have a hard time handling the truth you should go somewhere that will tell you a story you are comfortable hearing. If you think you can watch a lynching or an execution then I ask you to follow me in this sad and disgusting story.

Black Friday isn’t just a shopping day for consumers. It’s one of the busiest days for the NYPD also. Criminals never go on vacation and the holiday season finds them working as hard as they do all year around. A crack team of NYPD cops from a vice squad detail in Queens were on the verge of closing a nightclub that they suspect is responsible for prostitution, narcotics, internet fraud and the bootlegging of Jay-Z’s new artistically mediocre CD ‘Kingdome Come‘. Inside the establishment a female undercover officer plays the role of a forlorn stripper prostitute. That night a group of men enters the club to celebrate the upcoming marriage of one of the men. The female officer radios to her team that they will have their sting complete that evening.

The sting works for the police on several levels. The arrests made give overtime and credit to the arresting officers. Closing the bar nightclub in this neighborhood would mean that the local residents will now have to outsource their liquor and prostitution. Most likely to the areas in Queens that are under police supervision for those services (Flushing and Corona). The operation also lets the police put a feather in their quota cap for total yearly arrests and ‘quality of life’ violation offenders. This is all dependent upon these young Black men soliciting the police officer cum prostitute (pun wholly intended).

At the end of the evening the gentlemen all decided that they had enjoyed themselves enough without adding any extra cirricular activities to the night’s festivities. This however was unacceptable to the police who had already begun to tabulate their overtime paychecks and departmental promotions the minute these Black men walked into the club. Unwilling to allow these men to procede home without arresting at least one of them a male officer harrasses and provokes the groom-to-be outside of the establishment. The young man is enebriated, but not enough to accept the apparently homosexual challenge to fight that the officer presents. This is a popular tactic the police are trained to use when they decide that they would like to kill a Black male.

See PATRICK DORISMOND.

The final method of provocation would have to come from the team of officers who were gathered in an unmarked van around the corner from the club. If these officers couldn’t establish an offense by these young men it would mean that some of these cops wouldn’t have the extra cash to buy their children PS-3’s for Christmas. Keep in mind that these PS-3’s are costing more than $2000.00 dollars on eBay. The officers in the van tried to cut off the groom’s vehicle while he was making a turn. What looked like a van full of homosexual men was actually New York’s Finest armed to the teeth. When the groom attempted to drive away from the rapists they were met with a hail of more than fifty (50) bullets from the officers.

One of the officers emptied the cartridge from his automatic weapon, reloaded the gun and proceeded to empty the second cartidge. These young men had no chance to survive since bullets were flying through the air in every conceivable direction. If you weren’t a police officer then you were going to be killed. Amazingly, two of the victims lived through that slaughterhouse moment only to be handcuffed to their emergency room hospital gurneys.

Joseph Guzman, 31-years-old, is in critical condition with 17 gun shot wounds from police.

And the Reverend Al Sharpton, called in by the families, insists that the men were handcuffed to their beds for several hours today. No one was told what the charges might be.

“Both men were handcuffed to the bed” Rev. Al Sharpton said. “How can you run with 17 bullet wounds and three bullet wounds? Where are they going? And what are they charged with?” Trent Benefield’s mother was asking the same question but without any information from police, she was left to draw her own conclusions.

I have made fun of AL SHARPTON fom time to time on this website, but when you have fifty police department bullets in your azz there is no one else that will get your back. May GOD go with SEAN BELL, the groom-to-be.

Marriage just isn’t for Black men.

MUSLIM MARCH MADNESS (ReMix)

Sunday, November 26th, 2006

burkhaball

The TURTLENECKS vs. The TURBANS goes into overtime.

turbanecks

Forget about the Dallas Cowboys and the Washington Redskins, this is the most classic of rivalries on the planet. I am not saying that an actual cowboys and redskins matchup couldn’t get bloody, but how many injuns did you ever hear of owning a Lawes ground-to-air missile launcher?!? Thank you.

So you ask, “Who are the Turbans? And who are the Turtlenecks?” Honestly, that’s a hard question to answer. It’s like trying to figure out the racial designation of a MARIAH CAREY and a TIGER WOODS. There’s a big ass gray area when you try to get all ethno-specific so instead I want you to think of these people from the perspective of sports teams. Actually, they are just like interstate rivals.

The Turbans best player was the AYATOLLAH KHOMEINI.

young turban

He was like the DAN MARINO of the Middle East game. He couldn’t win the big one even though he burned down the record books. No, seriously. He literally burned down all the books in Iran as he established the Islamic theocracy they have today. Theocracy is all well and good, but you still need some long scrilla to win at this game and the Turbans weren’t playing with the best looking paper either. At least they kept it rial.

keeping it rial

The Turbans cheerleader pin up calendar could never be mistaken for the Dallas Cowgirls, but when in Tehran you do what you can with what you have.

2-4-6-8 who do we appreciate?

One of my theories as to why the playa better known as the Ayatollah couldn’t get over the hump was because of his coaching staff. The Turbans were coached by a group of guys who historically couldn’t win the big one.

cool 'stash THAT OLD CRAZY GUY
This coach had the best moustache that side of TEDDY ROOSEVELT, but he didn’t listen to his assistants too well. I think he killed them all.
Gorby COACH GORBY
The coaching gets somewhat better because the offensive game plan is completely changed. It is switched from a system that required sharing the ball with everyone (communism) into a more focused system which only allows for one scorer while the rest of the team supports that player (capitalism).

Coach also had a cool map of the Ukraine tatted on top of his head.

big yeller BIG YELLER
Of all the previous coaches, BIG YELLER, had the most charisma. The problem was that he never made a lick of sense since he kept flask of Georgi inside his jacket pocket.
coach p COACH P
Peep the JEFF VAN GUNDY combover.

The Turtlenecks have been coached by Uncle Sam since the beginning. Hell, Uncle Sam hasn’t just been the coach, he has been the director of player personnel too.

saddam

Ever since they picked up free agent SADDAM HUSSEIN the team has pretty much remained intact. Uncle Sam used the Turtlenecks to keep lesser teams in check like the Taliban for instance. Think of the Taliban as a bunch of streetball players from the And1 Tour who want to take a shot at playing in the big leagues. You know these streetball niggas aren’t really coachable and eventually they will bite the hand that feeds them. SADDAM was good at keeping these fools in their lane with a mixture of intimidation and extortion. Just as an aside, I have to give props to the turtlenecks for their snazzy uniforms.

saddam

The Turtleneck cheerleaders weren’t any easier on the eyes than their Turban counterparts.

smells like team spirit

Don’t try to pay for that shwarma kabab at the Baghdad diner with these dinars. Turtleneck currency currently isn’t even worth the paper its printed on. (I apologize for all of that alliteration, but my job is to make you read and not just look at the pretty pictures)

dinars club

And the best part of all this crap that you just read is that the game isn’t over yet. Tune into the 2am SportsCenter for the final score.

The Official Bone Gristle GEORGE CLOONEY Blog Posting (ReMix)

Saturday, November 25th, 2006

clowny

Editor’s note: GEORGE CLOONEY is making guest appearances on all kinds of blogs ever since his post Academy Awards show comments that went something like, “the white man is the devil”. Now we at the website don’t totally believe that statement because we have seen some devilish things done by all races of people, but we thought that if we asked GEORGE to clarify himself then maybe his comments wouldn’t be chalked up to the free premium booze at the Vanity Fair party. Plus, GEORGE is a big fan of our Hot Azz Mess photo galleries so how could we hate on him?

‘Crash’ is a white-supremacist movie.

The Oscar-winning best picture – widely heralded, especially by white liberals, for advancing an honest discussion of race in the United States – is, in fact, a setback in the crucial project of forcing white America to come to terms with the reality of race and racism, white supremacy and white privilege.

The central theme of the film is simple: Everyone is prejudiced – Black, white, Asian, Iranian and, we assume, anyone from any other racial or ethnic group. We all carry around racial/ethnic baggage that’s packed with unfair stereotypes, long-stewing grievances, raw anger, and crazy fears. Even when we think we have made progress, we find ourselves caught in frustratingly complex racial webs from which we can’t seem to get untangled.

For most people – including myself – that’s painfully true; such untangling is a life’s work in which I try to make progress, but never feel finished. But that can obscure a more fundamental and important point: This state of affairs is the product of the actions of white people like myself. In the modern world, white elites invented race and racism to protect their power, and white people in general have accepted the privileges that we get from the system and helped maintain it. The problem doesn’t spring from the individual prejudices that exist in various ways in all groups but from white supremacy, which is expressed not only by individuals but in systemic and institutional ways. There’s little hint of such understanding in the film, which makes it especially dangerous in a white-dominant society in which white people are eager to avoid confronting our privilege.

l9

So, ‘Crash’ in effect is white supremacist propaganda because it minimizes the reality of white supremacy. Its faux humanism and simplistic message of tolerance directs attention away from a white-supremacist system and undermines white accountability for the maintenance of that system. I have no way of knowing whether this was the conscious intention of writer/director PAUL HAGGIS, but it emerges as the film’s dominant message.

While viewing ‘Crash’ may make some people, especially white people, uncomfortable during and immediately after viewing, the film seems designed, at a deeper level, to make white people feel better. As the film asks us to confront personal prejudices, it allows us white viewers to evade our collective responsibility for white supremacy. In ‘Crash’, emotion trumps analysis, and psychology is more important than politics. The result: White people are off the hook.

The first step in putting white people back on the hook is by pressing the case that the United States in 2006 is a white-supremacist society. Even with the elimination of formal apartheid and the lessening of the worst of the overt racism of the past, the term is still appropriate, in ideological and material terms.

l8

The United States was founded, of course, on an ideology of the inherent superiority of white Europeans over non-whites that was used to justify the holocausts against the indigenous people and the Africans, which created the nation and propelled the U.S. economy into the industrial world. That ideology also has justified legal and extralegal exploitation of every non-white immigrant group.

Today, polite white people renounce such claims of superiority. But scratch below that surface politeness and the multicultural rhetoric of most white people, and one finds that the assumptions about the superiority of the art, music, culture, politics, and philosophy rooted in white Europe are still very much alive. No poll can document these kinds of covert opinions, but one hears it in the angry and defensive reaction of white America when non-white people dare to point out that whites have unearned privilege. Watch the resistance from white America when any serious attempt is made to modify school or college curricula to reflect knowledge from other areas and peoples. The ideology of white supremacy is all around.

l7

That ideology also helps white Americans ignore and/or rationalize the racialized disparities in the distribution of resources. Studies continue to demonstrate how, on average, whites are more likely than members of racial/ethnic minorities to be on top on measures of wealth and well-being. Looking specifically at the gap between white and Black America, on some measures Black Americans have fallen further behind white Americans during the so-called post-civil rights era. For example, the typical Black family had 60 percent as much income as a white family in 1968, but only 58 percent as much in 2002. On those measures where there has been progress, closing the gap between Black and white is decades, or centuries, away.

l3

What does this white supremacy mean in day-to-day life? The New York Times highlighted one recent study found that in the United States, a Black applicant with no criminal record is less likely to receive a callback from a potential employer than a white applicant with a felony conviction. In other words, being Black is more of a liability in finding a job than being a convicted criminal. Into this new century, such discrimination has remained constant.

That’s white supremacy. Many people, of all races, feel and express prejudice, but white supremacy is built into the attitudes, practices and institutions of the dominant white society. It’s not the product simply of individual failure but is woven into society, and the material consequences of it are dramatic.

l6

It seems that the people who made ‘Crash’ either don’t understand that, don’t care, or both. The character in the film who comes closest to articulating a systemic analysis of white supremacy is Anthony, the carjacker played by the rapper LUDACRIS. But putting the critique in the mouth of such a morally unattractive character undermines any argument he makes, and his analysis is presented as pseudo-revolutionary blather to be brushed aside as we follow the filmmakers on the real subject of the film – the psychology of the prejudice that infects us all.

That the characters in ‘Crash’ – white and non-white alike – are complex and have a variety of flaws is not the problem; we don’t want films populated by one-dimensional caricatures, simplistically drawn to make a political point. Those kinds of political films rarely help us understand our personal or political struggles. But this film’s characters are drawn in ways that are ultimately reactionary.

l8

Although the film follows a number of story lines, its politics are most clearly revealed in the interaction that two black women have with an openly racist white Los Angeles police officer played by MATT DILLON. During a bogus traffic stop, DILLON’s Officer Ryan sexually violates Christine, the upper-middle-class black woman played by THANDIE NEWTON. But when fate later puts Ryan at the scene of an accident where Christine’s life is in danger, he risks his own life to save her, even when she at first reacts hysterically and rejects his help. The white male is redeemed by his heroism. The black woman, reduced to incoherence by the trauma of the accident, can only be silently grateful for his transcendence.

Even more important to the film’s message is Ryan’s verbal abuse of Shaniqua, a black case manager at an insurance company (played by LORETTA DEVINE). She bears Ryan’s racism with dignity as he dumps his frustration with the insurance company’s rules about care of his father onto her, in the form of an angry and ignorant rant against affirmative action. She is empathetic with Ryan’s struggle but unwilling to accept his abuse, appearing to be one of the few reasonable characters in the film. But not for long.

l5

In a key moment at the end of the film, Shaniqua is rear-ended at a traffic light and emerges from her car angry at the Asian driver who has hit her. “Don’t talk to me unless you speak American,” she shouts at the driver. As the camera pulls back, we are left to imagine the language she uses in venting her prejudice.

In stark contrast to Ryan and his racism is his police partner at the beginning of the film, Hanson (played by RYAN PHILLIPE). Younger and idealistic, Hanson tries to get Ryan to back off from the encounter with Christine and then reports Ryan’s racist behavior to his black lieutenant, Dixon (played by KEITH DAVID). Dixon doesn’t want the hassles of initiating a disciplinary action and Hanson is left to cope on his own, but he continues to try to do the right thing throughout the movie. Though he’s the white character most committed to racial justice, at the end of the film Hanson’s fear overcomes judgment in a tense moment, and he shoots and kills a black man. It’s certainly true that well-intentioned white people can harbor such fears rooted in racist training. But in the world ‘Crash’ creates, Hanson’s deeper awareness of the nature of racism and attempts to combat it are irrelevant, while Ryan somehow magically overcomes his racism.

l2

Let me be clear: ‘Crash’ is not a racist movie, in the sense of crudely using overtly racist stereotypes. It certainly doesn’t present the white characters as uniformly good; most are clueless or corrupt. Two of the non-white characters(a Chicano locksmith and an Iranian doctor) are the most virtuous in the film. The characters and plot lines are complex and often intriguing. But “Crash” remains a white-supremacist movie because of what it refuses to bring into the discussion.

At this point in my critique, defenders of the film have suggested to me that I expect too much, that movies tend to deal with issues at this personalized level and I shouldn’t expect more. This is evasion. For example, whatever one thinks of its politics, another recent film, my film, ‘Syriana’, presents a complex institutional analysis of U.S. foreign policy in an engaging fashion. It’s possible to produce a film that is politically sophisticated and commercially viable. HAGGIS is clearly talented, and there’s no reason to think he couldn’t have deepened the analysis in creative ways.

lynch

‘Crash’ fans also have offered this defense to us: In a culture that seems terrified of any open discussion of race, isn’t some attempt at an honest treatment of the complexity of the issue better than nothing? That’s a classic argument from false alternatives. Are we stuck with a choice between silence or bad analysis? Beyond that, in this case the answer may well be no. If ‘Crash’ and similar efforts that personalize and psychologize the issue of race keep white America from an honest engagement with the structure and consequences of white supremacy, the ultimate effect may be reactionary. In that case, “nothing” may be better.

The problem of ‘Crash’ can be summed up through one phrase from the studio’s promotional material, which asserts that the film “boldly reminds us of the importance of tolerance.”

That’s exactly the problem. On the surface, the film appears to be bold, speaking of race with the kind of raw emotion that is rare in this culture. But that emotion turns out, in the end, to be manipulative and diversionary. The problem is that the film can’t move beyond the concept of tolerance, and tolerance is not the solution to America’s race problem. White people can – and often do – learn to tolerate difference without ever disturbing the systemic, institutional nature of racism.

l1

The core problem is not intolerance but white supremacy – and the way in which, day in and day out, white people accept white supremacy and the unearned privileges it brings.

‘Crash’ paints a multi-colored picture of race, and in a multi-racial society recognizing that diversity is important. Let’s just not forget that the color of racism is white.

the duke

My Uncle’s Name is TOM

Saturday, November 25th, 2006

c.p.

Editor’s note: Rounding out our hat trick of remixes of racial epithets I thought I’d drop this classic favorite of TONY’s KANSAS CITY.

I remember as a kid learning that the term ‘Uncle Tom’ is derisive, which struck me as a bit ironic since I have an uncle whose name is Tom. My uncle Tom is a rebbe in Brooklyn. He is funny and quirky and really intelligent too. So I needed to know how having an ‘Uncle Tom’ was not a good thing.

I asked BILLY SUNDAY about the meaning of ‘Uncle Tom’ and what’s wrong with ‘selling out,’ since it is a phrase I’ve heard uttered in connection with the first.

c.p.n.g.w.b.

The Uncle Tom character is someone who’s been given benefits and guarantees while he works hard to please his master. The Uncle Tom believes that due solely to his hard work, he has secured his master’s favor. The Uncle Tom believes that the master’s doctrines are universally beneficial and equitable.

c.t.

The Whip Cracker is completely different from the Uncle Tom in that the Whip Cracker understands that the benefits he receives are issued not for meritous acheivement but for complicit behavior. The Whip Cracker doesn’t believe that he is favored by the master but understands that if he complies with the master’s programs, then he will be spared from the master’s wrath. The Whip Cracker knows the dirty tricks the master employs to control his holdings and the Whip Cracker has no empathy for the moral consequences. All the Cracker wants to know is,”When am I going to eat?”

c.t.

In the end, the Uncle Tom is a tragic figure because he believes that he is truly loved by his controllers, whereas the Whip Cracker understands and accepts that he is only a servant responsible for sustaining the master’s control.

REAL TALK – The History of the Word ‘Cracker’

Saturday, November 25th, 2006

yeeeeehaw!

Editor’s note: From deep in the archives BILLY SUNDAY drops another ReMix jewel on your plate. There’s a reason that we say you can’t handle the truth.

When nearly everyone hears this word directed at someone as an epithet, they immediately think of the racial component associated with the word. This pretty much works the same way for the word ‘nigger,’ unless it is two blacks speaking to one another. What most people don’t know, since they never went to school anyhoo, is that the words ‘nigger’ and ‘cracker’ were never created to describe an insult to one’s ethnicity. These words were created to identify one’s vocation.

The ‘cracker’ was the production supervisor on a plantation or farm. It was his job to monitor the slaves and keep them from slacking off. As he sat on his horse and trotted around the plantation, he might lash his whip on anyone he felt was unproductive. Many times he would use his whip purely as a means of intimidation, to let all the plantation workers know that it was going to be one of those lifetimes in which they would wish they had never been born.

The slaves did their best to avoid beatings from these enforcers, but they could not escape the best part of the American chattel slavery system: violence was often random and indiscriminate. This kept the slaves in a constant state of confusion and fear. The slaves began to call these enforcers ‘crackers’ because of the sound that the whip made when it was lashed across someone’s sweat drenched skin. The slaves would warn each other of the ‘crackers’ presence by saying the word rapidly and repeating it many times. Imagine the croaking of a frog. In this way, slaves developed a communication system that was undecipherable to the plantations’ managers.

At first, a typical ‘cracker’ might be the land owner and his male children, but as the plantations grew, ‘crackers’ were hired from the many European immigrants that came to America to escape the poverty and famine in their countries. Often times these new immigrants were quartered with the slaves and there are many instances of hired immigrants rejecting the task of violent enforcement against their roommates. Those immigrants would find themselves out of work and, worse still, disenfranchised from within their own community. In this way the landowners forced these immigrants to play their position, or risk being ostracized, destitute and literally worse off than the slaves.

Really large plantations even used other slaves as ‘crackers,’ which became a supremely effective tool for controlling the worker population. These slaves/’crackers’ knew which workers to target with intimidation and violence in order to maintain control and they even knew the slaves’ secret languages and dialects, so they could serve as effective translators for their managers and the landowners This is the most important fact we need to remember. The Black ‘cracker’ was put in place to regulate the Black populus. All the Black ‘cracker’ cared for was making sure that he secured a steady meal for himself. He would do whatever he was told by the manager or the big boss, the landowner.

Today these ‘crackers’ manifest themselves in many different ways, but their ultimate goal remains the same: to secure a steady meal for themselves. They receive their reward by helping to control the slaves through various measures using intimidation, violence and acting as translators to the owners.

Some might call this, ‘Getting Rich or Dying While Trying’.