Archive for February, 2007

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LIGHTSKINT IS THE NEW BLACK!

Wednesday, February 7th, 2007

al b

I pretend to be a smart guy on the internets, but it’s the readers of this site that are really the smart folks with their antennaes tuned into reality. The big homey 40 DIESEL reminded me what was really at stake during the NFL’s Super Bowl and how a loss by the Colts could have meant another seven years in purgatory for the lightskinned Black man.

The lightskinned Black man has become a dinosaur in recent years, almost extinct and forgotten due to the successes of people like MICHAEL JORDAN, PIDDY, FISTY SCENT and ISAIAH WASHINGTON. If we were ever going to have another chance to lead the Black team we needed someone to break through for us in a big way. No SHEMAR MOORE.

We thought we had TIGER down with us, but then he ups and claims an unknown racial team – Calablanasian?!? Do they even have a basketball squad?

There were tons of lightskinned men defecting from the ranks to join the ‘bi-racial’ team. And I also wondered why nobody claims to be ‘tri-racial’? Oh, yeah that’s right, MARIAH CAREY did once, my badd.

So it was TONY DUNGY versus LOVIE SMITH in the Black Like Me supremacy showdown. House negro versus field negro to determine once and for all if I could mention the name of my hero again. And what do you know? The house negroes got the win. AL B. SURE videos can once again be enjoyed by the masses. Please Blacker people, don’t hate us because we’re lightskint. Hate us because we look better than you.

al b

CHRISTOPHER WILLIAMS IS NOT DEAD!

Posted in Black Bullshit, Jig Lit Review, No Boutros Boutros... Ghali, Social Upheaval, When I Reminisce... | 38 Comments »

CAPTAIN BILLY SUNDAY’s PIRATE RADIO PODCAST

Wednesday, February 7th, 2007

iPirate

A funnty thing happened when I started compiling tracks for a secial Podcast this week to honor JAMES ‘JAY DILLA’ YANCEY’s born day which is today. I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t listened to most of these tracks in over six months. It’s a wild understatement to claim that JAY DEE was an important music producer. He is the essence of Hip-Hop. His influence spans all types of musical genres and sounds. DILLA Lives.

Record executives label a song Rap, or R & B or Rock in order to help their marketing departments sell music. JAY DILLA defies labeling. He simply makes good music. He is the father of KANYE WEST, 9th Wonder and any producer that dares to dream. Even though DILLA left us a year ago he left us with a catalog that lives. I will take this week to celebrate life and my love for everything that is Hip-Hop. DILLA Lives.

Listen to the snares DILLA uses to make you bounce. Smooth and in control. The same goes for the horns that come in and keep the vibe silky. This is the Detroit attitude that you hear in DILLA’s music. I can see myself strutting into the big room doing my ditty bop and my hat tipped to the side. A fly grey-green eye on my arm dressed to the nines. This is show off music. DILLA is showing out for us. He gave us a soundtrack to get fly to. He gave us a soundtrack to get high to. Psyche-funkadelic keyboard hits let me know that JAY DEE stayed with his cap on twist. It’s a beautiful thing. DILLA Lives.

And like I always say… Respect the architects. DILLA LIVES!

dilla


SLUM VILLAGE – ‘Tainted’


JANET JACKSON feat. Q-TIP – ‘Got ‘Til It’s Gone’


PHARCYDE – ‘Runnin’


J DILLA – ‘Anti-American Graffiti’


JAYLIB – ‘Raw Shit’ (Instru-Mental)


RHIAN BENSON feat. SLUM V – ‘Say How I Feel’


SLUM VILLAGE feat. KANYE WEST, JOHN LEGEND – ‘Selfish’


DWELE – ‘Think Twice’


SLUM VILLA – ‘Reunion’


JAYLIB – ‘Nowadays’ (Instru-Mental)


JAY DEE featuring ELZHI – ‘Come And Get It’


DILLA – ‘Watching Smurfs On ‘Shrooms’


ESVEE – ‘Things We Do’


JAYLIB – ‘Heavy’

Posted in Crappers, Straight Laced, The Addict, When I Reminisce... | 7 Comments »

THE BRAIN GOES ALL IN…

Wednesday, February 7th, 2007

the brain

I can give you eight quick reasons why RUDOLPH GIULIANI is wasting millions of T.I. dollars on his presidential ambitions. The letters in his last name.

G – I – U – L – I – A – N – I

The United States has NEVER had a president whose last name ended in a vowel sound. McKINLEY and KENNEDY notwithstanding, and there was this guy named MONROE, but after that nobody. Do you remember how GIULIANI’s umbrella holder BERNARD KERIK was shredded by the Senate? That shit was so embarrassing dude can’t even come back into the ‘hood anymore.

My gut feeling is that GIULIANI is being gassed up by some G.O.P. operatives since he can get blinded when he is chasing power. These cats are gonna pull out the rug from under him something awful. They’ll expose him for cheating on his wife and abandoning his children because his son is mildly retarded. All of this will make JEB BUSH and JOHN McCAIN seem normal by contrast.

As an aside, did GIULIANI have CHRISTYNE LATEGANO disappeared?

Posted in Black Bullshit, Ghetto Celebs, Social Upheaval | 14 Comments »

SEPARATED AT BIRTH: HAT BOYS

Tuesday, February 6th, 2007

camels

Who knew camels liked hats so much?

Posted in C.R.E.A.M., cRap Fantasy League, Ghetto Celebs, H.A.M., Jig Lit Review, Lust = Love, Sneaker Fiends United | 6 Comments »

Just Kill Yourself = New Indie Rock Band

Tuesday, February 6th, 2007

kill yourself

I didn’t think America’s teens were taking me to heart when I told them to go kill themselves, but apparently DP Dot Com has better marketing pull than Aqua Teen Hunger Force. At least in the 15 to 25 year old suicidal set. The Boston police thought those light boards were a threat. I am a threat, and oddly enough I’m a vet too.

The suicide rate escalates when America’s teens refuse to medicate. I can relate. The problem that I have with the so called experts is that they assert that drugs make the situation better, more palpable. I will tell you that drugs only made shit fucked the fuck up for me. Here is another case of the media being harnessed to create more addicts and abusers. The worse drug is television. It packs your neurons with billions of images and veritable sensations before you are even old enough to speak. You better believe that violence on the television is a problem. Wait until you have a child and you have to explain that to them. I would rather let my kid watch a porno than some crazy show where people are mutilated and killed. Anyhoo…

Speaking of television, I still have to watch that ego trip white rapper show. I love how the internets shuts down for the hour that show is being broadcast. It has become the equivalent to rap nerds that ‘Heroes’ is to comic nerds. I will try to catch the show one of these days since the ego trip cats basically run Hip-Hop media like a Draconian bunch of… rap fascists. Well maybe they’re not that bad, but they do have the T.I.s ears something serious.

Posted in Black Bullshit, Crappers, Ghetto Celebs, No Boutros Boutros... Ghali | 2 Comments »

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