Archive for August, 2007

FREE FOXY! THE JENA 6… NOT SO MUCH

Friday, August 24th, 2007

fox boogie

Thumbs up to RAFI for catching Foxy in a good mood.

Right now I could really use an intern on my team that was willing to write an encouraging letter to Fox Boogie Brown. Shorty might be held down for a minute in order to get her mind right. She could definitely use the encouragement and support.

The Jena 6 need a whole lot more than just some scribble on a sheet of loose leaf. Them fools need the great Black god in the sky to come down on a spaceship and take them away to a better place. It’s obscene that the Black Code is still in effect after all that good work that WILL SMITH, CUBA GOODING Jr. and MORGAN FREEMAN have put in to help white get their shit together.

It looks like the iNTERNETS CELEBRITIES are going to go in hard on the Jena 6 story. We may even possibly hitchhike to Louisiana or go on a fast food strike. Hitchhiking seems more likely. Stay tuned and if anyone out there has ever been in love with Foxy and you want to get word to her just drop me an e-mail so we can get this shit on and popping.

CLASH OF TEH GHEY TITANS: UPDATE…

Friday, August 24th, 2007

wonder twins

This drop is for all of the cRap Music Fantasy League entertainment executives and for those of you scoring from home. I decided to run a periodic update on the overall scores of the two most anticipated artists to release albums this quarter (hopefully). As we get closer and closer to the projected release date I thought we could take a look at how these artists were doing for the labels that selected them.

FISTY SCENT is like a well oiled publicity machine, actually he IS a well oiled publicity machine (nullus, no johnnycakes, no LUTHER’s moisturizer bottle, *pause*, [ll], and whatever else you use to remove cooties). FISTY is starting to heat up now, by making televsion show appearances and insulting any rapper that will take him seriously.

‘YE TUDDA has had the mixtape of the summer and this led nicely into the release of the Common album although points have been slow to pick up. The Louis Vuitton Don is nominated for several MTV video music awards so his points can’t be far away. This one looks like it’s going down to the wire.

clash points

There Was No Sex In The Champagne Room…

Thursday, August 23rd, 2007

rock

CHRIS ROCK dodged a bullet on this one f’real.

I gotta get this nigger’s rabbi.

GRANNY STILL GETS HER SWERVE ON…

Thursday, August 23rd, 2007

granny kiss

Granny Love… Hell chea!

Good news for all of us MILF lovers… Senior citizens are getting their backs blown out at the same rate as younger folks. It looks like everybody is starting to come around to the fact that nobody gives it up as good as a grandma. Think about it, years of practice can’t be bad. I play first base in my office softball league and my glove is twenty five years old. Every year it get softer and catches balls even better.

With folks living longer and longer thanks to modern pharmaceuticals I think it’s high time to send some of these sexy seniors back into the workforce. Jay-Z was a visionary when he brought some of these septugenarian showstoppers back to work. Hell, I’d go to a strip club that featured senior citizen as dancers. Wrinkly tits would be flapping all around the place like wind socks. There’d be quarts of lubrication on the poles. That is lubrication right? It kind of smells like Ben-Gay.

granny legs

There is a downside to all of this partying with the sexy grandmas though. Senior citizens pass around wild STD’s just like that ancient rumcake that gets re-gifted for a decade. Just because granny’s sweet stuff is all out of eggs doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t still wear your galoshes. You don’t want to end up putting some Agent Orange on your manhood, because that shit could have been incubating inside that snatch since the free love hippie days during the Vietnam War.

Don’t let that stop you from enjoying yourself though. Sexy grandmas need some loving too. And you should show them some attention. Especially when they get all gussied up to go out to the club.

granny freeze frame

Is It Live, Or Is It Memorex?

Thursday, August 23rd, 2007

l boogs

L BOOGIE and her photo negative, AMY WINEHOUSE

I’m sorry I missed the LAURYN HILL in Brooklyn a few weeks ago. I blame myself for being on some Hollywood shit. I got to the park on some celebrity shit and the police were not having it. Unfortunately, LAURYN HILL performed in front of a bunch of people that wanted to hear some shit from the radio as opposed to a live band doing their thing. Black folks are funny that way. Anytime someone Black picks up a guitar some grade school dropout in the audience will scream out “white people music!”

Something similar happens to most popular music that is consumed by Blacks as well. Jigs only want that trendy shit that ends up on the radio. If veteran rappers didn’t have white kids supporting their music they would be bagging up groceries at the local Kroger’s. This is how music comes re-packaged from Europe and jigs co-sign it like it some brand new shit. I’m not hating on chicks like AMY WINEHOUSE so much because she actually has talent, but certainly no more ability than JILL SCOTT, or the crazy chick whose throaty voice she apes, LAURYN HILL. I love remakes and covers and even copycats as much as the next guy, but I love the O.G.’s because that is where the essence of the soul lies. Forget this preachy rant and just remember this… RESPECT THE ARCHITECTS!


ETTA JAMES – ‘I Just Wanna Make Love To You’


THE PARLIAMENTS – ‘I Just Wanna Testify’


THE SUPREMES – ‘Where Did Our Love Go?’


FINE YOUNG CANNIBALS – ‘Good Thing’


GLORIA JONES – ‘Tainted Love’


SOFT CELL – ‘Tainted Love + Where Did Our Love Go?’