Archive for February, 2008

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Sunday, February 17th, 2008

obama airs

I have yet to see anyone rocking a pair of JOHN McCAIN Air Max so this round goes to B.O.

Now I wouldn’t tell you to support someone JUST because his face was custom-painted onto a pair of Air Force 1’s. I don’t even fuck with AF-1’s like that, but while you niggas, ALL YOU NIGGERS, are out buying sneakers, iPods, sushi dinners and skinny jeans New York City has become Florida 2000 and Ohio 2004.

Unofficial Tallies in City Understated Obama Vote

I thought that this was the type shit that happens in “other” places.

Maybe BOB JOHNSON, MAYA ANGELOU and all the racist Asians and Latinos are just hedging their bets with the racehorse that owns the track?

Do The Math: DP Dot Com x Facebook x Black History Month = Free Shit

Sunday, February 17th, 2008

facebook

Black History Month brings out the best in me as I try to think of new and inventive ways to celebrate the legacies of such venerable African American statesmen like RALPH BUNCHE or RUDY RAY MOORE. What better way to celebrate than by throwing a contest here at DP Dot Com.

I decided to hook up with Facebook (puns always intended) for this event. Facebook is currently the defacto online social network system now that Friendster has been found to be too faggy and MySpace is totally too ‘hood. BTW, have you become my friend on Facebook yet?

This contest was inspired by my Facebook friend SHANIEL JACKSON and her frequent posts to my Super Wall. I could prah’lee become king of the internets if I had 100 friends like SHANIEL so I decided to have 10 friends like SHANIEL. Almost. I just sent out 100 friend requests to people whose first names began with SHANI. This includes, but is not limited to SHANIECE, SHANIQUA, SHANITRA and just plain SHANI. I kept my shit truly democratic and anyone whose name begins with a SHANI can get it. My Facebook friendship, of course.

HERE’s WHAT YOU CAN GET…

For Black History Month I will have a bevy of classic jig cinema available for FREE to the person who has the most friends with names beginning with SHANI. This contest is open to everyone with a Facebook account. The friends on your page can be girls or guys, and since this is Black History Month we will keep shit fully inclusive and fully integrated. The friends on your page can be white as well as Black. Just because February has an extra day this year don’t sleep on this contest. Get it crack-a-lackin’ with the quickness if you want your free flicks.

GHOST DOG
BROOKLYN BABYLON
DEEP COVER
BELLY
and more…

facebook

Super Ninja Nunchaku Kung Fu Theatre

Saturday, February 16th, 2008

street fighter

Yep, we’re at it again. It’s another classic SONNY CHIBA adventure from the ‘Street Fighter’ series. This flick is the final installment in the SF canon and it stars SONNY CHIBA, as well as SUE SHIOMI, who played the lead role in ‘Sister Street Fighter’ along with emerging martial arts talent BRUCE LI.

The story finds the street fighter once again at odds with the Chinese underworld and law enforcement over the attempted espionage of a secret chemistry for manufacturing illicit heroin. the underworld wants the formula so that they can get paid. The government want the formula so that they can get paid too. All roads go through the unstoppable mercenary known as the street fighter.

SONNY CHIBA reprises his legendary role as the greatest warrior evar. When the Chinese underworld contracts him to retrieve one of their members who is being kidnapped for industrial espionage. The Chinese underworld fucks up by trying to double-cross CHIBA during the transaction. One would have thought by this time that the mobsters in Asia knew that the street fighter is the last person to fuck with. Anyhoo, now that the deal has gone bad the street fighter is determined to take down the mafia at all costs.

SUE SHIOMI plays a double agent working for the government and the mafia. She is the mafia’s hitman specialist while also reporting back to the government on the mafia’s secret moves. BRUCE LI plays the role of a young, ambitious and ultimately corrupt district attorney who wants control of the secret heroin formula so that he can make millions from its production. While all of this sounds confusing it all makes sense when you watch the kickass kung fu martial arts action.

In the ‘Street Fighter’ universe it never matters who the bad guys are as long as the action is bad ass. If blacksploitation films had mated with samurai movies their offspring would have been the ‘Street Fighter’ series.

So you want a copy of ‘Street Fighter’s Last Revenge’ mailed directly to your door? All you have to do is join the DP Dot Com Snail Mail list. Send an e-mail to the_dallas@dallaspenn.com and you will get hooked up absolutely free. If you are already on the list and you want a copy just leave a comment on this thread.

street fighter

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The Association 2008: Celtics = The ‘C’ Word…

Saturday, February 16th, 2008

big 3

As the Association celebrates their annual holiday for excessive jig madness also known as All-Star weekend, I take a closer glimpse at the team with the best record in the league and I realize that we may be seeing a first for professional sports.

This is the first time that a pro sports team has been captained by all homosexuals. Admittedly, none of the Celtics ‘Big 3’ [ll] is an openly ghey athlete, but for those of you that follow their exploits closely it becomes something of a NaSir song, “It Ain’t Hard To Tell”.

g

KEVIN GARNETT
K.G. played the majority of his career under the purple moon of Minnesota where Prince was often seen at Timberwolves games. I’m not accusing Prince of being ghey, but his weedcarriers and wigbrushers definitely were. Do any of you remember the playoff series against Denver where K.G. inappropriately squeezed the “nuggets” of Denver’s FRANCISCO ELSON? After ELSON outed K.G. to the media DAVID STERN made ELSON disappear.

pierce

PAUL PIERCE
P-Squared has an affinity for the same types of ladies that EDDIE MURPHY and Minister MASE seem to prefer. Chicks with sticks. I think this comes from living in Los Angeles. Several years ago PAUL PIERCE was stabbed up[ll] inside of a Boston area after-hours club. Everyone and their momma knows that after-hours clubs are for the trans-genders and teh gheys.

sugar ray

RAY ALLEN
Sugar Ray?!? ‘Nuff said.

[ll]

FLASHING LIGHTS: A ‘YE TUDDA VIDEO PREMIERE

Thursday, February 14th, 2008

Yeah, I was fucking with y’all on that one.

Here’s the real deal from the good folks over at OnSmash.com


Bonus Beats: ‘Ye Tudda at the Grammys