Archive for June, 2008

Hip-Hop Is NOT A Culture (Reader’s Choice ReMix)

Thursday, June 26th, 2008

shouts to BC dot C

I have been trying to wrap my head around this topic for several weeks now. Ever since I saw a subway advertisement for the VH-1 produced show ‘Hip-Hop Honors,’ I have been in a lousy mood. When I think about the history of VH-1 and MTV in relation to Hip-Hop, I get pissed the fuck off. I am old enough to remember the time when these cultural hustlers would not recognize Hip-Hop because the T.I.’s didn’t believe they could make money from it. They thought that because this art was originally produced and created by disenfranchised people, it would not translate to the suburbs and the exurbs of America.

Give RUSSELL SIMMONS and RICK RUBIN hell’a credit too. When the T.I.’s saw how many white were coming to see acts like KURTIS BLOW, T-LA ROCK, RUN-DMC and of course, the BEASTIE BOYS, they realized there was money to be made. Keep in mind that Hip-Hop’s prime demographic group is white males between the ages of 14 yrs old and 28yrs old (a/k/a the new teenage years).

I went to see 50CENT at the 70,000 seat Ford Field in Detroit and the only black folks that I saw were the ones tap-dancing on stage and the fools selling bootleg tee shirts outside the arena. Hip-Hop music is how white in America gets a chance to go on an ‘urban safari’. From the veritable safety of their iPOD.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE stop calling Hip-Hop a culture. This demeans the achievements of actual cultures that have shaped everything from language to economics to politics. Hip-Hop has not transformed any of the aforementioned standards. Hip-Hop in America is marketed as an alternative to securing an education, so much so that the word ‘bling’ now appears in the Merriam-Webster dictionary. Hip-Hop in America is marketed to promote consumerism without regard for fiscal austerity, so much so that people without a pot to piss in have a bottle of champagne in their refrigerator. Hip-Hop in America is marketed as an over-sized white tee shirt instead of the realization of socio-political responsibility, so much so that ‘VOTE or DIE!’ rolls off of my lips as easy as ‘JUST SAY NO!’

The actual culture is called capitalism. Hip-Hop is an artistic movement that is an outgrowth of the culture of capitalism, much the same way that 5000 years ago North African culture produced the pyramids. Though to tell you the truth, Hip-Hop isn’t nearly as great or everlasting as the pyramids of Giza. I don’t think any beings will look at the ‘Black’ album 1000 years from now and think that they missed some kind of cultural zenith.

I am not telling you not to enjoy watching a program that features performances from some of the artists that have crafted the soundtrack to our lives, just don’t get all longwinded and quasi-intellectual. No one will care what you have to say anyway.

Dr. BILLY SUNDAY Explains That Crap Music Is For Retahds (Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em ReMix)

Monday, June 23rd, 2008

your brain on snap

This is a picture of the brain of someone listening to popular rap music. As you can see the cerebellum is malformed and there is also a black arrow taped to the medulla oblongata. However, the clearest sign that popular rap music makes a person brainless is the fact that this brain is no longer on the inside of a skull…

When I said that rap music was making you dumber it seems to have touched a nerve among some of the readers at this site, to which an incredible amount of inane and ridiculous comments have followed up the original post. I won’t spend time refuting the naysayers individually because I realize that I may be talking too much. Instead I will be concise and succinct in my explaination so that anyone who chooses to comment will have clear examples to compare.

1) Popular crap music is no longer art, but disposable commercial bullshiite.

Art has a contextual relevance and a permenance as a cultural marker. Art will indicate the watermark that the culture that created it exists in. It reveals what you know about your universe and what you value inside of that knowledge. It tells other stories as well. Are you a heroic people, or simply brainless cowards? Do you seek challenges or simply the lowest common denominator, the status quo.

Art is on some deep shit like that and all of you neggars need to recognize. If your art is afraid to challenge you to think then by default it makes you a coward, and a dummy. I said that popular crap music was for retahds, but there are some retahds that are fucking hardbody. They might be as dumb as the hyphy song, but they ain’t taking shit from nobody. Those are the retahds that are too smart even to listen to ‘Snap’ music.

snap music

EXHIBIT 1 is a simple piece of art. We all get it. You pat the person that created it atop the head and you hang it on the ‘frige with a magnet until it gets yellow and hopefully the artist grows up and develops the cognitive motor skills to create more complex imagery. The only person keeping this crap would be the woman that birthed this retahd. Women are programmed to be like this and that is why so many enjoy the misogyny of popular crap music even though it leads to physical abuse and rapes.

underground hip-hop

EXHIBIT 2 is a more complex piece of art. It plays with color and texture brilliantly. Just like EXHIBIT 1, this sample describes something that we imagine to be real, but the abundance of carefully precise details makes that representation more factual and substantial. If you were walking down the street and you saw both EXHIBIT 1 and EXHIBIT 2 in framed glass and you could take one home with you which one would it be? Can we all agree right now that you would have to be retahded if you chose EXHIBIT 1?

What is happening right now in popular culture is that the streets are littered with EXHIBIT 1‘s and the people desire a piece of art to admire so badly they are picking them up. I blame the T.I.’s for what they are doing to all the LITTLE JOHNNYs of the world.

little johnny LITTLE JOHNNY had taken to listening to crap music by FIFTY CENT, YOUNG JEEZY and JAY-Z. Here he is pictured on his way to the Summer Booty Fest 2003 concert. The highlight of the show was when NELLY poured a gallon of warm carmelized candy apple syrup on the behind of anyone who wanted a free pair of his ‘Apple Bottom’ brand jeans. LITTLE JOHNNY has a pair.

little johnny

We remember when LITTLE JOHNNY listened to The Poor Righteous Teachers and KRS-One. The T.I.’s thought that he might develop into a Black Nationalist, or worse, a communist so that’s when they began to conspire to bring a less complex and diverse texture into the playlists of commercial radio stations.

little johnny Today LITTLE JOHNNY enjoys listening to our old cassettes of Air Supply and DAN FOGELBERG while he becomes a productive member of the community.

Note to readers: WILLIAM H. SUNDAY is a high school dropout and is not a licensed general medical practitioner in any state or county.

Crap Music Is Making You Stupiderer (Lil’ Wang’s ReMix)

Monday, June 23rd, 2008

iron mike

More hard evidence that rap music is making you dumber than you already were…

KING TEE from StapleCrops Studios posited a great question to me the other afternoon. He asked me if I thought that popular rap music was less intelligent now then say, 15 years ago. From the onset when I look at songs like ‘Laffy Taffy’ and acts like the Black Eyed Peas I think that this is a no-brainer question, but how do I answer this query based on empirical knowledge without any of the emotional baggage?

Very simply. I will study two factors that lend themselves to intelligent discussion, word count and number of polysyllabic words used. I think we can all agree that the breadth of someone’s vocabulary is a good measure to their relative intelligence which in turn correlates to other areas like their understanding of the world around them. Why is intelligence important you might ask? cRappers have become the de facto statesmen for a generation of people (mostly coloreds). If you are to trust these people to express your issues wouldn’t you want someone that has the most knowledge to represent you? After this exercise is complete we will know who we should listen to if anyone at all.

Let’s try an example…

D4L – ‘Laffy Taffy’
word count = 392 (including ‘dis’ 6x and ‘dat’ 5x)
polysyllabic words (3+ sylable) = 4 (longest = motherfuckin’)

word count = 670
polysyllabic words (3+ sylable) = 22 (longest = tie: perpetrating, fascinating, entertaining)

O.K., that was pretty obvious from jumpstreet. Southern rap music doesn’t pretend to be any more elevated than slavespeak. Let’s go deeper into the rap music matrix to see who matches up when true lyricists are considered…

JAY-Z – ‘Can’t Knock The Hustle’
word count = 437 (barely more than ‘Laffy Taffy’)
polysyllabic words = 10 (longest = entertainment)

NAS – ‘N.Y. State Of Mind’
word count = 730
polysyllabic words = 20 (longest = tie: composition, information, investments, equivalent)

RAKIM ALLAH – ‘Microphone Fiend’
word count = 550
polysyllabic words = 40 (longest = hypochondriac)

Imagine for a moment if you will the amount of ideas that RAKIM would have conveyed if he had used as many words as NAS. It’s clearly evident the less that you know and express lyrically has an inverse relationship to your popularity. EMINEM might be the anomaly to this experiment, but I leave that for you kids to examine for yourselves.


Saturday, June 21st, 2008


I’m leaving on jet plane

I don’t know if I’ll be back again

So kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that youll wait for me

Hold me like youll never let me go

Vacay bitches!

Right now I am somewhere really warm and sunny, touching my lady where the sun doesn’t shine.

I brought my Blacbook just in case we get a wireless signal out here, but in case we don’t you can still do well for yourself by falling through some of these sites…














A few classic DP Dot Com drops will be remixed thru the week.

I’ll catch up with y’all on the flip side.



POLITRICKS 2008: Real Talk > Straight Talk…

Saturday, June 21st, 2008

all thumbs

I really think I’m going to have to vote for JOHN McCAIN.

Even though his weed carriers a/k/a campaign hype machine calls itself the ‘Straight Talk Express’ (touché to them if JOHN EDWARDS gets the V.P. nod again). I can’t fault them for not using the term ‘Real Talk’. How current can we expect the vernacular to be of a 100 year old man? Still and all, McCAIN has some positives working in his favor…

  • He calls his wife a cunt
  • I really love that word and whichever candidate uses it publicly has my vote.

  • JOHN McCAIN is old school
  • JOHN McCAIN is really, really, really old.

  • JOHN McCAIN has love for them hos
  • Er, lobbyists.

  • The Straight Talk Express has a jig behind the wheel and sits on dubs
  • Peep game…