SUE SIMMONS is the GOAT news anchorwoman. She has outlasted the KATIE COURICs and the KAITY TONGs. Name another newscaster that can let fly the expletives and still maintain their primetime position as a talking head? Even male anchormen can’t get away with that shit.
The advantage that has kept SUE SIMMONS on top is her wig crypt. In nearly thirty years I have never seen her lace front get turned sideways. Thanks to Bossip.com for these iconic images.
Native New Yorker Sue Simmons takes charge at Rockefeller Center from day one. Damn baby, who brushes your wigs?!?
The late 80’s saw Simmons representing Prince in her purple splendor.
The 1990’s were rough for Sue. She always kept a crispy Huck Finn wig though. Just in case she might have to cut a motherfucker.
Can’t tell her nothing. SIMMONS in the 2000’s
Now a whole new crop of grey-green eyed beauties is vying for the position of lightskint info queen. These broads all have the right complexion that America trusts, but do they have their wig weight on full?
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SOLEDAD O’BRIEN Soledad kills shit on CNN. With Afro-Cuban and Irish all mixed together its a small wonder she hasn’t been caught cussing on camera. |
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SUZANNE MALVEAUX I love me some grey-green eyes and I love a chick with a hard to pronounce last name. I wouldn’t mind spending springtime in Paris with Malveaux although another Suzanne would kick my arse. |
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WENDY WILLIAMS The self-described queen of all media has stepped up her lacefront game with her morning show on Fox. Someone needs to help her with her brushing technique though if she wants her wigs to last. |
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ALISON STEWART Microsoft has a monopoly on their computer operating system. Let’s just hope that they don’t start monopolizing all the pretty lightskints with the Boneturals. |
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FREDERICA WHITFIELD Frederica is another CNN dimepiece. She is the weekend action. Basically a side order to your O’Brien entree. |
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AMY HOLMES To keep these proceedings “fair and balanced” we are including right wing strategist Amy Holmes. Don’t think for a minute that her kiss on a fellow correspondents cheek is anything less than the kiss of death for Black males. Holmes only dates the white. |
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TYRA BANKS Tyra’s wig game has been on an incline but does she have the camera presence to be a face that you want to see every day? C Webb didn’t think so. |
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TANISHA MALLETTE The figurative dark horse of this lightskint bunch of lovelies is my homegirl Tanisha Mallette. During my wild and crazy high school years Ms. Mallette had a crush on yours truly. When I recently saw Ms. Mallette in NYC she looked at me up and down and burst out laughing. Her remarks were, “and I had a crush on YOU!” |
This drop was shamelessly swaggerjacked from the Underwriter…
