dallaspenn.com

Last week I fuxxed with the Heltah Skeltah show in lower Manhattan at the classic venue called S.O.B.’s. If you live in NYC and you have not seen a Hip-Hop show at S.O.B.’s then you aren’t Hip-Hop whatsoever. Cats from Pennsylvania, Connecticut and New Jersey come here to catch shows. It’s one of the last live venues in the city where you can really experience a show where the artist doesn’t have a separation from the listeners.

You already know what the fuck it is with Rock and Ruck. Their new album is called Da Incredible Rap Team and these niggas are still punching motherfuckers in the mouth with their lyrics. There ain’t a crew in rap more hardbody than those niggas and that’s my word. So you can imagine how surprised I was when I saw all of these broads in high heels and short skirts. Heltah Skeltah is not one of these glam rap groups where the chicks that come to see them are wearing Chanel shit. Broads that come to see Heltah Skeltah usually have stab wounds, they wear Timberland chukkas and can prA’li kick the ass of 94.675% of XXL mag dot commenters.

Who the fuck were these foxy bitches coming to the club to see perform? It turns out that these high-heeled hot chicks (read: white girls) were here to see some nigga named Asher Roth. Who the fuck is Asher Roth? I know that he has had some shit featured here on this website, but seriously, who the fuck is Asher Roth? Motherfuckers are coming through the spot in button ups and boat shoes. When some skinny looking Italian dude hopped off the Vespa with not one, but two skinny model type cokehead broads riding on the back I knew exactly what Asher Roth was. He is the king of the hipster douchebag rapper movement.

What I didn’t know was that Asher Roth is also the king of the suburbs too. At least Eminem had to come up through the hardscrabble Detroit battle rap circuit. And we all know how cold shit can get in the D. Asher Roth is straight from the Stroudsburg mall parking lot poetry cipher. I’m not saying that you have to have gunshot wounds to be a rapper, but it does help no doubt. Asher Roth is 180 degrees from all that fake gangsta poseur bullshit. Roth is more like the greatest frat rap artist since DeLa Soul debuted. Imagine if Eminem were a little less lyrical and more poetical. WTF?!?

Asher Roth doesn’t make me hit the rewind button like Em used to, but he still has lines that are worth repeating. Download his mixtape here and peep his game. I’m surprised how much I enjoy listening to son’s album. Yes, you would want to be high when you let this shit play. He has a wordplay that staggers through his songs and connects rhymes at assymetrical points in the verses. My favorite song on the mixtape is where he talks about which cartoon chicks he would fuck. Pure dumb frat boy bullshit that doesn’t take itself seriously at all. Asher Roth is the next rap phenomenon. Straight from the suburbs.

Hip-Hop is dead, long live Hip-Hop.