Archive for February, 2009

From Gay-Rod To A-Roids…

Tuesday, February 10th, 2009

ghey rod

Assholes like ALEX RODRIGUEZ and ROGER CLEMENS are totally predictable. The only thing these dudes care about is their legendary status. They could give two shits about their wives or their families. The wives might as well be groupies and the kids would be better off putting a pen in their hand and asking for an autograph.

Do you remember when Ghey-Rod and his wife were about to split up because he had totally moved out and shacked up with Madonna? Ghey-Rod didn’t give a shit who knew or how they felt. He told all of us haters to go fuck ourselves [ll]. Look how contrite his phony baloney ass becomes now that his iconic status and history in the game of baseball is in jeopardy from the sportswriters.

The sportwriters determine who enters the Hall of Fame and who is allowed to continue to trade up on their athletic exploits long after the playing days have ended. The sportswriters are the everlasting hype machine. They make the final decision on how and when the music will fade away.

I say fuck the sportswriters too. Those fucks act like athlete’s infidelity to their spouses isn’t news and doesn’t somehow correlate to the athlete as a person or a player. In 2003 sleeping with someone who wasn’t your wife WAS cheating, but using steroids was not (technically). A-Rod is a cheater Yankees fans, and you know what else? A-Rod is a loser. Ghey Rod couldn’t hold Manny Ramirez’ piss cup.

ghey rod

Rainhats Still >>> Um-ba-rellas-ellas-ellas…

Monday, February 9th, 2009

rainhats

DO NOT take relationship advice from BILLY X. SUNDAY

If I wasn’t as lazy and drunk as I am so often I would have inserted [ll] this drop so that you could have read this shit first thing in the morning before you go to homeroom or wherever high school cats go at 8am. Alas, You will have to hear more about the story of Chris Brown going all UFC on his alleged girlfriend Rihanna.

I say alleged because we all know that Chris Brown prefers to wear nuttsachs like a Van Dyke right? We all know this right? Okay, good we have that out of the way. So the question remains why would Chris Brown get into a catfight with Rihanna anyhoo, since the likelihood of them arguing over fidelity is nil. They are more likely to be upset with each other over sharing the same dude.

I think Rihanna made the mistake of calling out Chris Brown’s sexuality in front of people that aren’t in the ghey cipher. You know, that cabal that runs the entertainment industry. Most people think its the t.I.’s that run this rap shit but in actuality it’s the ghey t.I.’s. Rihanna gets all liquored up at the pre-Grammy party (you know the alcohol and other treats *ahem* flow freely at these events right?) and then she tells Chris Brown that he is just a dancing fag like Alvin Ailey.

Chris Brown wanted to cry, but he held it in until they got in the limo taking them to the house they were renting (separate rooms, but of course). He finally bust out into tears inside the car and he really wanted to pinch Rihanna’s arm, but because her forehead is like eightheads he couldn’t help it but to touch her above the neck. I’m pretty sure that he didn’t want to bust her lip open, even if that is what he ended up doing.

I’m not here to defend Chris Brown. He is a sweetchuck though, and those dudes are just as likely to fight with a chicks because they think they are one too. In this new technological age Chris Brown should celebrate the achievement that from now on whenever someone gets domestically abusive with their chick we will say that fool “Chris Brown’d” his broad. At the end of the day being remembered for anything is all you can hope for in an era of disposable entertainment.

1st Saturday… And That Is All

Monday, February 9th, 2009

bma

Featuring Combat Jack, The crew from Coup d’Etat, 40 Diesel, Kev Clark, DJ Spinna and Rich Medina.

If I tell you to go somewhere don’t even ask me what time. Just do it. Camp out and wait for me to show up.

You won’t be disappointed.

zoey

Anti-American Graffiti And Post Apocalyptic Armageddon…

Saturday, February 7th, 2009

dilla rip

The assignment was simple in its design. BRANDON SODERBERG asked if people would like to create a drop or several commemorating a track from Jay Dee’s album ‘Donuts’. I already knew which song I wanted to discuss. I love the track called ‘Anti-American Graffiti’. I also knew I wanted to make a video that used the song as its soundtrack. I hope I did a good job of transferring my thoughts on the track with the images that I clipped and pasted together.

The song is almost like a marching anthem in the way that the drum kicks keep their time. I see an army stretching across the horizon goose-stepping in time. It isn’t a human army though. Well, not all human. They are cyborgs. Stepping on human skulls strewn about the landscape. Even though the human life has been muted there is still something lively about these man-machines and their march. This is the sad future of this planet.

In the last few weeks my thoughts have been on the war that the U.S. is still embedded in across the Middle East. From Afghanistan to Iraq and the tacit support and endorsement in Gaza there is so much blood on our hands as American citizens. I understand that everything that I enjoy as an American comes from the real sacrifice that is made by the U.S. military personnel. All the while their rate of suicide skyrockets to unimagined heights. Can the president wrest a control of this precedent?

When Jay Dee passed away in 2006 the country was almost three years deep in the tumult of Iraq and only six months removed from the disaster that was Hurricane Katrina. Jay Dee saw a world that was folding in on itself as if it had eaten a cosmic Black hole. Maybe we deserve this fate? At some point someone will have to take the weight and bear the burden for all of our complicit sin. With each generation the penalties and interest increase. Will our grandchildren even know what sunlight looks like?

Rest in peace James J.Dilla Yancey. Donuts forever.

J Dilla – Anti-American Graffiti from dallas penn on Vimeo.

dilla rip

A Tale Of Two Cities…

Friday, February 6th, 2009

lebreez

I have tried to withstand all the LeBRON JAMES hype that has been generated during this NBA season. The Association is too deft at finding ways to attract me whether it is visceral or emotional. They have a talented athlete celebrity who appears to be the complete package [ll]. All I can say about LeBRON’s performance against the Knicks is that it surpassed ShowBee BRYANT’s 61 points because LeBRON achieved a triple double. Not even a JASON KIDD triple double, but a WILT CHAMBERLAIN triple double.

LeBRON and KOBE are clearly two diametrically opposed forces on a collision course in June called the NBA Finals. If anything else were to happen I would immediately tune out from basketball and devote my full attentions to the Mets championship run with MANUEL RAMIREZ batting cleanup. If the Association knows whats good for them they will bring TIM DONAGHY back just to insure that we are treated to this special finals match up.

I believe that KOBE will eat LeBRON’s food in the Finals. First off, LeBRON has the funnier commercials, but KOBE has the better ad spots. LeBRON doesn’t have fast food ads that were as dope as pre-rape KOBE’s were. LeBRON is telegenic and the whole nine, but KOBE is an ice cold assassin who just doesn’t give a fuck. And more than anything else he wants a title to put his middle finger up to SHAQ.

LeBRON may be the lion king of the the NBA jungle but KOBE is the tiger. The lion knows that it has no predators whereas the tiger sees everything as its enemy. The tiger knows that its time here is short so it kills at will everything on sight. KOBE is from Philadelphia and he knows a thing or two about having the eye of the tiger just like Rocky Balboa did. LeBRON just doesn’t seem to have to battle against that same self doubt that challenges KOBE.

LeBRON knows that we know he is great, and he is happy with that.

KOBE is never happy.