Archive for June, 2010

Summer Jams: Thank Me L8r…

Tuesday, June 8th, 2010

drake

Drake’s debut album is the sonic event for 16yr olds worldwide. This album wasn’t as cheesy as I thought it would be. I mean, it’s pillow soft, but it isn’t Justin Bieber for Black people.

Drake isn’t going to bring back anything about rap’s golden era and that is fine. In 2010 I don’t think we should be looking in the rearview mirror to move forward. Rap has returned to its dancing at the disco roots and Drake injects his own type of Rap & Bullshit into the matrix.

Thank Me Later is all 808s without the heartbreak. It’s a fun album for the 2010 summer. It won’t make it to the fall tho’. And it honestly doesn’t want to. TML wants to have fun now and see how many groupies it can pick up without really trying.

Thank Me Later will own the aspirational rap niche this summer with all the guest features that fill this album up. I want to call this disk a pancake because it’s dripping with syrup.


‘Fireworks’ featuring Alicia Keys

‘Fancy’ featuring T.I. and Swizz Beats

‘Show Me A Good Time’

On my first couple of spins of TML I would give it a double Lutherburger [ll] rating with extra cheese thanks to all the features.

vandross

Summer Jams: Recovery…

Tuesday, June 8th, 2010

recovery

WTF is wrong with this dude Eminem? This album is his 808 & Heartbreak. Eminem finally exorcises his Proof ghost on wax and I have to admit that Eminem went in gheyer than Drake. How did he manage that? With the worst singing ever on a rap album. EVAR! When Eminem harmonizes he makes Biz Markie sound like Ronald Isley.

I feel like there is a song on this album where Eminem speaks on going thru a sex change. This is a departure from his usual emo suicidal tendencies. Proof’s death was fucked the fuck up that’s for sure, but to cut your stick off is some other shit. This older instrospective Eminem is gheyer than a bag of dildos.

Oh wait a minnit… There’s a song eviscerating his ex-wife. He’s back. But no. This anthem filled Eminem is making rap into a fistpumping exercise [ll]. Yeah, the Situation will be masturbating to this album. If you hated the fake accents Eminem employed in Relapse (and I didn’t) you will hate the falsetto singing on the hooks. Eminem also namechecks KanYe in several songs.

WTF is this shit?!? My favorite song on the album is a Pink feature?

Am I going ghey?

Damn you Marshall Mathers!


‘Won’t Back Down’ featuring Pink

’25 To Life’

‘???’

The lyrical beast doesn’t show his face until the last untitled track on the album. I understand that Eminem had to express his love for his fallen brother and I hope that he finally realizes the way to shout out to your people is to be your best manimal. Unbowed and undefeated. There are too many songs on this album that require you to hold a candle in the air.

At a rap show in Detroit’s Ford Field this album means you are gonna need hell’a deoderant.

right guard

Beware Ebirah!

Tuesday, June 8th, 2010

ebirah

I’m not so much worried anymore about all the animals who are being killed by the Gulf Oilpacalyse as much as I am worried about the animals we are creating.

I remember that Godzilla had to fight this giant lobster one time. So I went to the web to find out who that creature was and it turns out the nemesis was actually a giant crayfish called Ebirah.

ebirah

Crawdads are something like the official fish of Louisiana.

Now the story takes on some super awesome ecological allegory and British Petroleum is the badass greedy corporation that unleashes the monster. We need a Steven Speilberg, Joel Schumacher or Michael Bay to jump on the production of this shit ASAP.

The late great Spy magazine said that helicopters, explosions and dinosaurs are all the components you need to create a summer blockbuster movie. In that case this flick is almost writing itself.

ebirah

The real life irony is that oil is literally the liquid remains of life on this planet. Animals and plants fused together under incredible pressure and time immemorial.

Maybe Ebirah is just an agent of the Earth sent by his angry mother to put a correction to an addiction that we all suffer from?

ebirah

MF BORAT…

Sunday, June 6th, 2010

doom

Shouts out to who sent me this EP. I was looking to open up the Nas and Damien Marley joint and I saw this MF Borat shit still zipped up so I opened it. True story is that I will do anything not to open up that Drake album. DOOM comes to my rescue.

The backstory of this EP is that MF Doom met up with Sacha Baron Cohen during the filming of ‘Borat’ back in 2006 and the two became friends. I don’t recall what that meant altho’ these beats must be from some downbeat dubstep emo euro-Montreal moody rap producer. In any case I dig the jazzamatazz (R.I.P. Guru) that DOOM is spitting over.

A four (4) track DOOM EP > a full length [ll] anything from Drake.

MF Borat: The Mask and the Moustache


DOOM featuring Samantha Alexes – ‘Dedicated To Love’

Who’s Da’ Man?!?

Sunday, June 6th, 2010

showbee

As the tip-off[ll] for Game 2 of the Association’s ‘chip finals gets underway the question looms larger than ever before…

Is Kobe Bryant better than Michael Jordan?

You don’t have to answer that question just yet, but you will someday soon and the answer could be yes.