Pix From The INTERN’s Drinking Party

July 26th, 2006

the intern

The INTERN went to drinking party last weekend and thankfully nobody died. It’s almost time for all you college kids to get back on your grizzly. Just remember that whatever happens in the off campus residences, stays in the off-campus residences. Including hazing fatalities and date rapes. Stop snitching college kids.

the intern

the intern

The ladies were in full effect. KELLY, JENNA, KIRSTIE, KAITLYN, MICHELLE, ALLYSON and MEGAN

the intern

the intern

Yo, I want to hit ALLY so bad, but she has been passed around more times than a forty ounce. MICHELLE is a hot piece of asian azz. I have never tasted Philipina poon before either. Did I tell you that I love shrimp fried rice.

the intern

PEDRO tapped ALLISON too. PEDRO isn’t from Mexico, but DALLAS says that Argentinians are just taller Mexicans.

the intern

the intern

the intern

BRETT is a total homo because he likes to sniff guys pubes during the beerstand.

the intern

the intern

the intern

Everybody is placing bets as to who will score that night. I already had KELLY lined up from the first week this semester. I tell her that I write for a Hip-Hop website.

Posted in Black Bullshit, Lust = Love, When I Reminisce... | 4 Comments »

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

July 26th, 2006

super class=

I am calling these varsity red / royal blue Dunks the ‘Super Marios’.

What color should I change the laces to?

super marios

super mario

Posted in Fashion Faux Pas, Sneaker Fiends United, Straight Laced, The Addict | 8 Comments »

START SNITCHING Is My Hero

July 25th, 2006

balloon love

It’s one of those hazy summer nights and the internets just made it that much hotter. My brother from another mother(and father, I hope), The Human Resource, has just given me the key to many lonely nights enjoyment – The URL’s for all the contestants of this years’ global ho pageant. Miss World, Miss Universe, whatever. These are the types of ho’s that CRIS CARTER needs to eff with. START SNITCHING is a good thing, we should all be doing it.

I have already decided which chicks I will be doing on a nightly basis.

Miss Costa Rica
Miss Philipines
Miss Venezuela (CHAVEZ, you lucky bastard)

The only B.M. out of the entire pageant was Miss Ethiopia. All these other bitches were hot to death, but they were all too Eurocentric looking. For heaven’s sake, just look at Miss Jamaica!

Shout goes out to Miss Turks & Caicos. Shorty is only 5ft.3in. so you know that booty is a bang-banger.

Posted in BeYONCE's Hair, Black Bullshit, Fashion Faux Pas, Lust = Love | 14 Comments »

SUOZZI = SWAYZE

July 25th, 2006

the suozz

Or… They Don’t Believe You, You Need More People.

My update on the New York politricks scene shifts back to the gubernatorial race which has become a one-horse show for all intensive purposes. THOMAS SUOZZI, the Nassau County Executive is being outmuscled by the NY State Attorney General like the Hulk crushes a bag of Doritos. ELIOT SPITZER, the NYSAG, started the race with a lead in hand and in the best framing of any political contest he has never looked backward. There is a debate scheduled for tonight, but my azz will be listening to quality rap music inside Fort Greene. Let me know if anyone hears a tree falls inside of the forest.

Poor TOM, he’s a good dude, but overcoming that Long Island lisp was a far too daunting task for him. He needed to fix that speech flaw in order to win the voters upstate that see him as child of privilege, out of touch with the common man. Forget the fact that most voters think that the Attorney General actually prosecutes criminals like some kind of super crime fighter for the state. I’m surprised that TOM didn’t call on his fairy godmother. The lesbian voting bloc is steady freddie come primary time.

the suozz and glenda

Yeah, this one looks like a wrap right about now. For us over here at DP dot com the sad part of all of this was that Governor SPITZER didn’t even need to take us up on our offer to procure the mythical ‘Black Vote’ for his campaign.

Posted in Black Bullshit, C.R.E.A.M., Ghetto Celebs, Jig Lit Review, Social Upheaval, T.O.N.Y. | 4 Comments »

CRIS CARTER: Almost Famous

July 25th, 2006

80

First off, if any of y’all are traveling through the air do not get caught up in AirTran’s circus of bullshit. These humps are the cheapest fare for a reason. The customer service is wack, the stewardesses have track marks on their arms and they wear cheap wigs and the planes are always overbooked.

While I was flying to Atlanta last week I ran into CRIS CARTER, legendary wide receiver from the Minnesota Vikings. CRIS is a good dude and he stopped for a minute to chat with me. I always liked CRIS more than say, JERRY RICE, because he toiled away without complaints for all those years on those sucky Vikings teams.

Lo and behold, CRIS was flying to Atlanta on the same AirTran flight that I was on. This is how real the BUSH Administration economy is looking. Even a former NFL superstar has to watch his pennies now that his playing days are over. I saw the young lady that was accompanying CRIS and I realized that he may not make the Hall of Fame in Canton after all. Homegirl was not HOF caliber pussy. She was just aiight. Definitely hittable, but not on the level that you would expect for the second greatest receiver of all time. CRIS needs to have him some illmatic mulatto with real blonde hair and not that lace front jammy that homegirl was rocking.

If CRIS CARTER doesn’t step his broad game up I don’t see him getting into the Hall on a first ballot

Posted in Fashion Faux Pas, Ghetto Celebs, Sports are Gay | 5 Comments »

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