MARIAH CAREY = MySpace Swagger Jacker

May 11th, 2006

mariah a cup

I got this post idea from CONCRETE LOOP after I spent two hours reading CRUNK AND DISORDERLY. Just be warned that both sites are internets crack. Don’t visit them until you are ready to commit some serious time to celebrity blogging.

I hate the celebrity driven society that we live in, but I am always fascinated by their lives. Celebs are regular folks just like us who occasionally trip while they are walking or they don’t pay their car notes on time or they have wicked bunions on their toes. We pay them an inordinate amount of our time because they help us forget about our flaws and our own mortality. In the end we all suffer from the same human needs and desires. We all just want to be loved.

To that end we find that MARIAH CAREY, her producer, and her record label are being sued by some unknown singer/dancer for copyright infringement. Parts of MARIAH’s hit single ‘It’s Like That’ were taken from this girl’s MySpace page. Well blow me down! Who knew MySpace was good for anything other than smashing some 15yr. old poon? I feel a kind of way that MARIAH got all of those Grammy awards and she didn’t even get her material legally. I suppose everything will be right with the world when MARIAH gives up some of that DefJam dinero to the young lady whose swagger was jacked.

And then I bet homegirl will take the check straight to that Miami doctor and get her tops upgraded, just like MARIAH.

mariah d cup

SECRET LIVES of GHETTO CELEBS

May 11th, 2006

allen illy

NBA superstar ALLEN IVERSON shows us the side of his hand that he uses to discipline his wife.

BOSTON YOUTH HAVE BALLS (NO B.B.)

May 11th, 2006

BOSOX BALL DAY

Ask any lifelong Boston Red Sox fan what’s better than PW3ND’ng the Yankees and they will tell you that it’s when their kids get their own balls to play with.

Playing with your balls at the game is fun for the entire family, especially when two close friends share their balls while mom looks on laughingly.

BOSOX BALL DAY

The fun really kicks in when you hold a hot dog in one hand and a ball in the other. Good times

BOSOX BALL DAY

More STEVELAND HARDAWAY JUDKINS For You Earholes

May 11th, 2006

little stevie

Bandwidth be damned this month because I can’t get enough of these YouTube classics.

I put YouTube right alongside indoor plumbing as one of man’s better achievements

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

May 11th, 2006

volcano

From deep in the center of the Earth I present to you, the DALLASPENN.COM ‘HEATROX A.M.’95’

heatrox 95s

Ohmigod the hits keep coming from the NIKE Design Studio. You can officially hate me now. The series of shoes designed at the studio is getting sicker and sicker. The A.M. ’95s are covered in the studios’ exclusive leather and the altitude green ‘swoosh’ is still reppin’ for each shoe in the series.

heatrox 95s

heatrox 95s

The A.M. 95’s have massive street cred because most of y’all youngbloods was just turning into teenagers when they first dropped. DALLASPENN.COM is the formatted hard drive for everything F.R.E.S.H. so you know we had to copp a pair of these jawns.

heatrox 95s
heatrox 95s
heatrox 95s

The next series at the design studio will feature Dunks and Air Force 1’s. If you think you’re ready to change the game then holler at me. I will be hosting a Dunk party at the design studio.