Rap Music Needs Some New Blood…

August 4th, 2009

vamp

Vampires are the hottest shit smoking right now. The HBO program True Blood is killing the television rating for its time slot. The ‘Twilight’ books have supplanted Harry Potter on the best seller lists and anything with a vampire theme is the sexy for corporate America.

Everybody hates Chris (Brown), but everybody loves Dracula. Zombies stay losing. Maybe because they have all those skin problems. Leprosy was never good for bagging bitches. Vampires have all the ill swag. Extra tight jeans. Silky blazers. Necklaces with embedded cocaine snifters.

I was pretty sure that KanYe West’s 808s & Heartbreaks would segue rap music into the age of hedonistic, well dressed, bloodsucking. I loved the album to death, and let’s be honest about vampires. That shit is gheyer than two men having sex.

Some dude choosing a man to live with him for all of eternity is the zenith of gheyosity. But at the end of the day if you look at the overall numbers the amopunt of ghey dudes with disposable income >>> greater than het breeders that make familes and shit. What do you think corporate America gives a fux about?

What rap music needs to do is take their cues from the fact that Jay-Z is dressing in all black again. By going vampire that will be the path for the rap music industry to court the ghey dollars without having to make Fisty Scent post the ghey Lloyd banks video on ThisIs50.com. NaS needs to name his next album Nasferatu.

I got charged into thinking about all of this vampire shit when I stopped by the XXL H.Q. Harris Publishing is now printing one of the freakiest comic titles from way back in my childhood. Vampirella was this cocktease vampire slut that was all about kicking the ass of bad vampires and demons and rapists and child abusers.

Vampirella was hot as fuck too. OMG I wanted to bang her so bad and she knew it. My dad wouldn’t let me buy these comics because he said it had some shit to do with devil worship. If you ask me, working for money is devil worship. I like it better when Harris pays me with premium alcohol. The power company doesn’t like that though (natch).

Now that I am old as shit and my dad has passed away and I write for Harris publishing, I will be reading as much Vampirella as I want and I will be occasionally touching myself in between issues. Vampires are fucking teh ghey, but a vampire chick with body karate that put the lotion on her hands can have my true blood any day of the week.

vamp

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

August 3rd, 2009

mega

As you must already know I am fond of naming my sneakers. Whatever their colorway evokes in my fanboy memory is what I will call the shoe. Sometimes I find out that the designers had the similar idea for their inspiration.

Anyhoo…

Nike has been retro releasing the Air Trainer III this summer in a nice variety of colorways and materials. I’ve been copping them at various retailers for less that 50% of the original MSRP.

The hunt is on for these two pairs I have pictured. I am calling them the Megatron and Cyclonus Air Trainer III’s.

megatron

cyclonus

I think we are overdue for a Sneaker Fiends Unite! NYC tour. I’m excited to see what ‘Back 2 School’ pricepoints will be available.

How about Saturday 08.29.09?

Blood On The CD Player…

August 3rd, 2009

slaughterhouse

The SlaughterHouse project hit the web this weekend and I have been listening to the album on a loop. The album is everything I wanted it to be. It’s four emcees trading the microphone in a verbal sparring competition. From the outset you had to feel this was going to be a sick album. The opening track ‘Sound Off’ cuts your ears like a razor tucked inside someone’s cheek.

Sound Off

SlaughterHouse re-introduced Joe Budden, Royce and Crooked I to me. These were rappers that I never listened to for extended periods but with Joell Ortiz alongside of them I see what have been missing. Royce has been the biggest revelation to me while Crooked I is simply a lyrical monster. Joe Budden is simply insane. Why isn’t he called Joe Bananas?

Budden’s line on ‘Microphone’ basically sums up the rap music game currently. “Too many blueprints and not enough architects”. That is a mean fucking line. I don’t feel like it is a shot at Jay-Z as much as it is a shot at the Jigga copycats in the business. And yeah, maybe a slight shot at Jay for making the 10th Blueprint album.

When you look at the runtimes for my favorite tracks on the album you see something that most rap songs today don’t have. A nearly 5 minute length [ll]. Those aren’t going to be songs that accommodate terrestrial radio formats. That means that the SlaughterHouse project is going to fly on the strength of the fans and their word of mouth.

With albums like Rick Ro$$ ‘Deeper Than Rap’ selling better than 100K units in its first week I have predicted the same results for the SlaughterHouse debut. The Ro$$ album had the benefit of radio to promote its sales. The SlaughterHouse project has the internets. That didn’t work too well for Asher Roth’s debut. Let’s see what happens in the case of four master lyricists.

pams

I’m rating this album 3.5/4 Baywatch Pam Andersons.

We all knew there would be rhymes for days on this disk. The beats are as triumphant as the words from these emcees who were left for dead by the music industry. I wish all the previously leaked singles were on the album too so I could have a disk with them all on one place. I’m also a little disappointed that the M.O.P. x SlaughterHouse joint isn’t on the album.

I’m gonna run a little contest for my peoples here on the internets. I’m giving away an official SlaughterHouse x FLUD watch to the reader that comes the closest to predicting the SlaughterHouse first week sales. Just leave your prediction on the comments thread. I’ll keep the contest open until August 11th so get in where you fit in.

SlaughterHouse self-titled debut drops 08.11.09.


Killaz

slaughterhouse

What I Learned At School Today…

August 3rd, 2009

schoolhouse rock

I always see those ads on the subway for the bootleg colleges that promise to teach students shit like information technology, phlebotomy and eBay (WTF?!?!) and I think to myself that anyone who goes to one of these schools is a loser.

It turns out that one person isn’t taking the loss from a horizontal position though. She has decided to sue the fake college for not helping her find a job. Next time she should just go to law school.

Now that America no longer produces tangible goods the need for people to support the operations of manufacturers is removed. Information technology is useless if you are only going to be counting poor people. We know poor folks don’t have the right information so they definitely can’t have the proper technology (natch).

Pretty soon we will only have two types of career professions here in America.

Criminals and lawyers.

And you won’t be able to tell the difference between the two.

Summertime Sweet Spots…

August 2nd, 2009

a life

Saturday finally got underway for me at 7pm on the lower east side at a store called Alife Rivington Club. The shop is managed by NYC tastemaking legend CHRIS VIDAL (formerly of Flight Club NY fame). CHRIS opened up the backyard space and they barbecued and spun classic rap shit. HOF from OnSmash was in the joint with the homey Plain Pat.

The next spot to fall thru was the SoleFood block party on Lispenard Street in TriBeCa. When I got to this joint it was already over and done. I parlayed for a minute tho’ to chop it up with some folks like MEKA from 2DopeBoyz. I’m really happy for MEK that he is living on this side of town now. I have to get him to come to the Back 2 School edition of the Sneaker Fiends Unite! NYC tour.

The next stop on the run with the setting sun was to the 92Y space in TriBeCa to watch Game Rebellion open for Blitz the Ambassador. Game Rebellion is still the band that I think too many folks are sleeping on. Their political rants are tuned up for whatever ails this country. Now that BUSH is out of office they drop songs about Wall Street greed and corruption along with police brutality and menage a’trois with club groupies. What more could you ask from rockstars?

The nail in the coffin was when Che Guerilla pointed me to the Red Bull Space. An obama in Manhattan on a Saturday night? What kind of shit would this be? Some corporate dewshbaggery for sure, but what kind of alcohol were they serving? Svedka FTW. The music was fucking atrocious. The Red Bull did give me wings though. It’s 8am now and I am just popping away at the video console. I’m wondering what kind of shenanigans I will get into today?