EMBRY, you’se a fool for this one.
SEPARATED AT BIRTH: Iron Chic…
December 31st, 2008Afro Punk-n-Paint Ball = NYE2008
December 31st, 2008
Afro-Punk & Coup d’etat Brooklyn present:
“The Punk-N-Paint Ball”
New Years Eve – Wednesday December 31st, 2008
9pm – 3am
@ Sly Art vs. Robot City
425 Broadway (between Canal St. & Howard St.)
5th Floor
Live Performance by:
Game Rebellion
Izza Kizza
Live Art, NYE Mural & Body Paint by:
. Livingroom Johnston
. Concep
. Lichiban
. Ibrahim
. Geeta Khanna
. Yang-chi
. Sonny Bombs
. Dister
TUNES SUPPLIED BY DJs:
. DJ Tahleim
. Synapse
. DJ Soul
Open Bar:
10-11pm & drink Specials throughout the night
Not For Long: Cornbread, Earl & Me
December 31st, 2008
Why don’t people don’t name their kids Earl anymore? Or even Jamal? Everything is now Brandon, or Justin. When I was volunteering as a little league coach I used to have to add a description to the names of kids so that I would remember who the hell they were. “Lazy eye” Brandon vs. “McNugget head” Brandon, or “Special Ed” Justin vs. “Whore mother” Justin. If I have a daughter with Chocolate Snowflake I will name her Earl. Not even short for Earlene or some shit, just Earl.
The name Earl came to mind when some folks were talking to me about the New York Giants bruising running back Brandon Jacobs. By the time the fourth quarter rolls around no one wants any part of that dude. The real reason is that the Giants O-line is beating the crap out of people. Brandon Jacobs is a big dude, but he is far from spectacular. When I think of the greatest oversized running backs I reminisce on cats like Christian Okoye who used to put in work and the man of all oversized running backs, Earl Campbell.
Earl could beat the shit out of you AND outrun you. Secondary defensemen wanted NO parts of Earl Campbell evar. He was laying fools out with the forearm shiver or whenever he dipped his shoulder.
So all you folks that think a dude named Brandon is so effin’ special you might should need to sit your ho asses down right quick. That is Texas Longhorn speak for respect Earl Campbell and all of his rushing titles and MVP awards.
The 2009 DP Dot Com NFL Playoff Pool
Okay, so here are the parameters a.k.a. the rules and shit, for the DP Dot Com NFL playoff pool.
You can only pick one(1) offensive player per team. So if you chose D’Angelo Hall as your RB you can NOT select Steve Smith as a WR. Take your time and use strategy when assembling your team. You will only get points when your player plays so be careful of the 1st round byes and teams you think will only play one game. Your team must consist of…
PLAYERS
1 QB
2 RB
2 WR
1 TE
1 FLEX(could be a running back, wide receiver, or tight end)
1 Kicker
1 Defense/Special Teams
SCORING
6 pts- TD Rushing, Receiving, Passing
6 pts- Defensive TD, Kickoff Return/Punt Return for a TD
6 pts- Defensive Shutout
3 pts- Field Goals
3 pts- Defense holds opponent to 9 points or less
2 pts- Defensive safety
2 pts- Two point conversion (Rushing, Receiving, Passing)
1 pt- Every 10 yards Receiving, Rushing
1 pt- Every 20 yards Passing
1 pt- Defensive sack, interception, fumble recovery
1 pt- Kicking extra point
0 pts- Any yardage on punt/kickoff returns
* If a punt or kickoff is returned for a TD the D/ST gets 6 points and if you have a guy like Mark Jones as one of your WR’s he will also be credited with 6 pts if he ran it back. So in that scenario the Titans D & Jones will be credited 6 pts.
* RB has 73 rushing yards and 10 receiving yards(total yards = 83) he will be credited 8 pts.
* If a QB has 200 passing yards -1 rushing(total yards = 199), he will be credited 9 pts. If he has 199 passing yards + 1 rushing(total yards = 200), he will be credited 10
*This is NOT for just the first round, but the ENTIRE playoffs so once your player is out you cant pick up another you have to play a man or two or three down.
Here’s what my squad looks like…
QB – Donovan McNabb
RB – Michael Turner
RB – Chris Johnson
WR – Hines Ward
WR – Reggie Wayne
TE – Antonio Gates
FLEX- Steve Smith
K- David Akers
D/ST- Tennessee
Submit only one(1) playoff roster. If you are having a difficult time figuring out how to put your roster together then you might should hold off effin’ with this pool until you can get some time on your hands to smnack yourself in the head with a baseball bat. I will not accept roster revisions so wait until the last minute to make your choices.
Smarten Up Gaza…
December 29th, 2008
Israel has spent enough time fucking around with the Palestinians already. If this were back in the days America then the Palestinians would already have been given their free winter blankets laden with smallpox. If Israel were as serious about supremacy as they pretend to be they would have been kidnapping Palestinian children like the Australians do to the aborigine. Memo from Tel Aviv: the time for bullshitting is over with.
The sooner Israel does their Khmer Rogue impression the sooner the handful of Palestinians left can transform their image in the same way the native Americans did. You may not remember that after the native Americans realized that the Euro settlers weren’t just on holiday all shit broke fool. The native American nations were labeled terrorist organizations and the colonial government got on that shoot to kill shit they pull out when a land grab is on.
The native Americans lacked the coordination and the overall hardware to fucks with the colonials. It didn’t take too long before they were overwhelmed with technology and brute force. No one can withstand that combination. That’s like chasing crystal meth with Hennessy and Red Bull. But just for good measure the native Americans were smacked up with some wicked biological warfare to make sure they knew their place.
This is how Israel will have to deal with the Palestinians once and for all. The settlers are just like the colonists. They like the land and they ain’t gonna leave it. Technology and brute strength will insure that the settlers stay in place. This scenario has been repeated ad nauseam throughout human history. Find a Carthagenean if you can and ask him how Rome did their thing. The sooner Israel satisfies their genocidal tendencies the sooner the Palestinians will have the chance to live prosperously. Those that are left, you know, ABBAS and a few of his friends.
Look at the native Americans and all the benefits they have now because they only exist primarily in museums. There is the Mohegan Sun and countless other “Injun” themed gambling resorts. The native Americans have also been immortalized throughout the institutions of higher learning and professional sports as the mascot of choice. If the Palestinians would just hurry the fuck up and die I don’t see why we couldn’t swap our beloved Chief Wahoo for a Sheik Abu.
Smarten up Gaza.
Murder Was The Case That They Gave Me…
December 29th, 2008
How are these fossils not dead yet?!?
The U.S. murder rate spikes for young Black males while gangsta rap CD sales decline.
Even Fisty Scent, who has been the only steady commodity during this decline is losing his luster. The Fisty Scent MTV reality show titled ‘The Money & The Power’ has been shelved indefinitely.
Peep the graph I just made which charts the precipitous decline in gangsta rap music sales and the steady increase in mortality for Black males…
The tipping point for rap music, and subsequently the Black male mortality rate was in 2006. That was a pretty tumultuous year for weed carriers and shitty rap albums. Kingdom Come, Idlewild, Like Father Like Son, Bred 2 Die Born 2 Live, The Big Bang, Hard To Kill, Blood Money, King, and Pac’s Life?!? Do I have to fucking continue?
NaS wasn’t just being prescient when he said that ‘Hip-Hop Is Dead’, he was just looking outside of his window at all of the young Black boys that were chopping each other down like sugar cane stalks. If I were some kind of economist, sociologist or even a community activist I might prA’li study the correlation further to see if maybe the t.I.’s were spurring Black youths to kill each other since they obviously weren’t buying CD’s any longer, but I’m busy now on another project called ‘Moving Out Of My Mother’s Basement’.
Maybe one of the freedom fighters on this site will pursue this story further, but I doubt that anyone really gives a fuck. You know, what with the economy still being fucked the fuck up and it being winter and Zwarte Piet not having enough Wii consoles to give out.
The silver lining that I see in all the carnage is that it appears that real thugs are back to doing real things and leaving all the poseurism to the pretty boys and the artistic types.
At the end of the day what does this news herald for 2009?
Skinny jeans killers.
