BRANDY Is More Hardbody Than Your Favorite Rapper…

February 26th, 2007

brandy

In case you didn’t know, BILLY SUNDAY grinds for the Evil Empire.

Fuck what you heard bitches, if your favorite rapper is still killing emcees on wax that dude is pussy. If he is smacking emcees in the face at a YouTube rap battle he still isn’t keeping his shit as hardbody as Brandy. She is killing motherfuckers in these streets for real.

As skinny as Brandy is she could prah’lee use her elbow as a dagger but instead she is merck’ing fools with her SUV, and then she is straight up confessing to shit like it’s nothing. While y’all sit up all night in ya’ mommas basements and talk shit about my nigga Paul Wall and the fact that Jay-Z brought Coke and Budweiser to Africa, Brandy is prah’lee running over wild perdestrians in L.A. The funny shit is that I don’t know how she is gonna walk on this trial now that your cousin Johnnie Cochran is dead. Ray-J’s allowance is gonna get cut after this is all said and done.

How ill is it that Brandy has leapfrogged ahead of all female rappers (and the majority of male rappers) in terms of street cred. She’s still a long way from touching Diddy’s overall bodycount, but her resume just got more street than Remy Ma, Lil’ Kim and Foxy all in one evening. Foxy Brown’s charge of beating up a Asian manicurist should be thrown out of court until Foxy gets up the hardbody nerve to make that nail salon look like the Cambodian ‘killing fields’. Lil’ Kim has been home from the clink for over half a year now and she can’t get a decent 16 on anybody’s track, but I will bet you a green dollar that every rapper with a single slated for second quarter release wants Brandy on their hook.

I love the fact that everyone wants some scrilla because they learned that it was Brandy behind the wheel. Even though ‘Moesha’ is in syndication the paper she gets from that show ain’t as long as you might imagine. I see Brandy on wild amount of billboards doing ads for hair products. Don’t them niggas know that Brandy wears wigs? She the one chick that might have as many wigs as BeYonce. Umm, maybe not so much, but she still keep hell’a wig poppin’ off. Why do you think Brandy so skinny? She trying to prolong the residuals from her first album by eating one half of a can of tunafish every week. Brandy ain’t gon’ waste her good money on food. Not the way these cocaine prices are escalating. I’m just saying, Brandy is more hardbody than everybody except Cassidy, because he killed his BFF over a cheesesteak sandwich.

Allegedly.

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

February 25th, 2007

woody

Wood paneled patent leather Dunks to match the interior of the Mini Cooper.

Available for $39.95 at Paragon Sports in New York City.

You can hate me now.

woody

woody

woody

The King Of All Jigs = Best Father Evar

February 24th, 2007

kiddy

How good is JUSTIN COMB’s life as the son of DIDDY? How many of us were getting lapdances from 16 year olds when we were still only 12 years old?

kiddy

kiddy

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This dude has young teen action lining up to just touch his manhood like it’s the real American idol. Just wait ’til this dude grows up.

Thanks to ALEX2.0 for the pics.

SEPARATED AT BIRTH: EGGHEAD SPORTSWRITERS

February 23rd, 2007

eggheads

ESPN’s JOHN CLAYTON and Foghorn Leghorn’s adopted son Egg-Egg-Egg, I said, Egghead Jr.

BOSTON = RETAHHDS

February 23rd, 2007

baahstan

A picture is worth a thousand words…

Before I get into the stupidity of Bostonians I think that it would only be proper for me to shout out and R.I.P. the family of NBA Tight Pants legend DENNIS JOHNSON. And just when lightskint brothers were re-emerging as the paradigm for Blackness we lose an ambassador from the redboned contingent. In honor of Mr.JOHNSON I will not shave my beard when the auburn red hairs begin to appear as they are wont to do (no TIM HARDAWAY shower video).

R.I.P. D.J.

It wasn’t enough for the Boston government to be pwned by two dirty Clipsters and their Lite Brite signs as they would have liked us all to believe, but the real issue that I had with the debacle up north was that it was an egregious waste of homeland security funds. This was the equivalent clusterfuck of sending everyone to Home Depot to buy scotch tape and bubble wrap. The real hoax was the fact that the authorities decided to run a fire drill with taxpayers time and money.

So the fallout from these fake bombs continues as Turner Broadcasting forces the head of Cartoon Network to empty his office
. I don’t want this dude to resign because there isn’t any programming on television that consistently entertains me like the Cartoon Network does. The folks over there brought us Sealab, Space Ghost: Coast to Coast, Stroker and HoopThe Brak Show, Minoriteam, Robot Chicken, and my new favorite show of all time, Squidbillies. Let’s not forget that Cartoon Network had the balls to run the Boondocks series when outlets like B.E.T. were too busy kissing that T.I. azz to broadcast anything that challenged supremacy.

If you want something progressive to do before you go on your media blackout like me then send an e-mail to the Turner Broadcasting T.I. MARK LAZARUS (LAZARUS? And some of y’all thought T.I. was a joke) and tell him to decline the resignation of Cartoon Network’s JIM SAMPLES.

Party for your right to fight.
mark.lazarus@turner.com (9-2-5)
contact@mediavillage.com (side gig)

baahstan