Black Elegance Magazine = More Black Bullshit

December 5th, 2006

bullshiite

Black Elegance magazine is like the bastard stepchild of Essence. The stepchild that was sired from a woman with shriveled ovaries. As such, B.E. doesn’t secure A-list celebrities when they are A-list. The trajectory is either early or well after. They usually sell the most when Essence has already sold out. They don’t make the kind of money that Essence makes from ad revenue because they don’t have that machinery behind them as yet. What they do have is a staff of people that are willing to give of their time and their skillsets doing the things they love – writing articles, styling artists and taking photographs. Folks understand that this time is being traded up for the credit and connections that come from building a brand.

Anyhoo, most magazines, even the crappy ones host a launch party where their staff gets a moment to exhale and preview their collective work before the magazine is released to the public. It’s a chance to hobnob and network with other industry people as well. Why do you think that the Editor in Chief at B.E. didn’t invite staffers to the launch event after having them work on the magazine for free. Prah’lee because she had no intentions of honoring the sisterhood agreement she made with them. The people at Black Elegance are just as empty and vapid as the staff at Essence. I had a meeting at the Essence corporate offices with two V.P.’s and four editors and they all agreed that Black Women did not know OR CARE about what the ‘Black Code’ meant. Forget how these magazines treat their staffers for a moment and recognize that their view of their readership is even more disgusting.

With HIV/AIDS still a scourge in America and to African American women more than ever Essence wants to give you a detailed essay on the swinger sex clubs in your neighborhood. Essence and Black Elegance have long ago left the stance of progressive empowerment for women of color. You are only a customer now and they intend to keep you shopping. Essence won’t stop until you are emotionally and financially bankrupt. Their articles claim to tell you what men think, or why he cheats, or why you should. Nothing describes the preservation of the family unit so I should assume that it doesn’t exist in Black families. It does and Essence and Black Elegance have an investment in the opposite. That is why I am asking you not to vote for them this holiday season.

We vote every single day, not just on the first Tuesday in November. We vote every time we go to the grocery store and buy a loaf of bread or a tube of toothpaste. Our dollars co-sign our trust in brands and products that we think will help our quality of life. Please don’t vote for either Essence or Black Elegance since these brands have betrayed the public trust.

‘BLOOD DIAMOND’ WAS BLOODY GOOD…

December 5th, 2006

blood in, blood out

Sometimes I’m a cynic and other times I’m an outright killjoy, but not this time. Hollywood’s latest propaganda vehicle titled ‘Blood Diamond’ is part ‘Raiders Of The Lost Ark’ and part ‘Gone With The Wind’ all set up using the diamond trade provoked civil war inside Sierra Leone as the backdrop. The movie invokes so many of Hollywood’s tried and true clichés that I can’t imagine how this movie won’t garner several Oscar nominations. Peep game…

  • The Bagger Vance theme is when some Black guy helps a white find their humanity by the end of the movie
  • “Africans are killing each other already” theme is a popular premise on several different levels
  • Inversely is the ‘noble savage’ who looks just like the other Blacks, but is somehow… different
  • The Tough As Nails white guy a la Ta’arzan who knows Africa better than the Africans
  • The Liberal Do Gooder Journalist out to save the world and change the cold heart of a bloodthirsty mercenary
  • Gone With The Wind theme which has white falling in love while civil war rages around them
  • The Multi-National Corporate Elitist Rich Fucks who profiteer directly from violent conflict, but seem laffable and charming in their greed and corruption
  • Machine gun fire that never hits the protagonists but strafes everyone else around them
  • The moment when the main characters realize that white people aren’t all bad and Black people aren’t all bad, but still somehow white people are always the ones actively fighting for good
  • Helicopters
  • Explosions caused by helicopters
  • Requisite cRap music soundtrack performed by nasty Nas, mostly nasty, not so much Nas (and to think, they pushed back the release of his album for a track that sounded like it was written by a white emcee not named Marshall Mathers)
  • The U.S. is the moral authority to the world
  • So with all that said I still enjoyed this farcical fantasy of a thriller. LEONARDO DiCAPRIO plays the grizzled South African army veteran turned mercenary and that African guy that Hollywood uses for every single African guy role was brought in to play… The African guy. I enjoyed every scene where the rebel army kidnapped the Africans and chopped off their arms as well as when the government soldiers came to a village and killed people indiscriminately. I think those scenes really described the pathos of the African. And just like I’ve said many times, “It’s not the white man’s guns that are killing people in Africa, it’s the white man’s guns in African’s hands.”

    My favorite, favorite line in the movie came when the African guy and LEONARDO DiCAPRIO were bonding over a bottle of Jack Daniel’s and the African guy reminisced on something his grandfather had told him…

    “Things were so much better when the white man was in control.”

    Brother, you just said a mouthful. Hang that man by a rope and stick a fork in him, he’s done. I give ‘Blood Diamond’ three KKKramers. Bring the whole family and get a discount if you show your ‘Kymberli Process’ certificate.

    The Monday Morning Quarterback Wk.13

    December 4th, 2006

    tiki

    It has finally come to pass that CANDICE has relinquished her lead in the DALLAS PENN Dot Com Football Pool. The fact it came on the weekend that her beloved Giants were beaten by the Cowwboys only puts the gravy on my biscuit. It was sweet watching the Ray-Vens lose on Thursday too. Life is good.

    I am just going to get right to the heart of the matter and give you everybody’s totals. Since that’s what you want anyhoo.

    THE DALLAS = 5 pts (59)
    CANDICE = 0 pts (55)
    Hong Kong 40 – #1 Super Guy = 6 pts (55)
    LM = 5 pts (58)
    TIFFANY = 3 pts (42)
    AMADEO = 6 pts (61)
    JESSE = 1 pt (35)
    SHONQUAYSHAH= 5 pts (49)
    Mr.KAMOJI = 4 pts (57)
    EL A IN THE D = 3 pts (35)
    SASQUATCHFART = 7 pts (55)
    PRYNSEX = 2 pts (52)
    S DOT = 13 pts (58)
    ALEX2.0 = 6 pts (57)
    ESBEE = 6 pts (27)

    I wish ESBEE would read the rules and make his Heavy Roller picks correctly. Dude could have been in the lead by now. As it is he has almost crept up on EL A and JESSE. I got an e-mail message from my homegirl ALEX2.0 where she asked me to give the grand prize to the second place pooler in case I won the whole thing. What I am giving the second place pooler is the title of first place loser. There are no rewards for coming in second and there’s no crying in football pool.

    I am sure that I will be sending some things out to all of the poolers as soon as the kid gets his money situation right. EL A deserves a lump of caol in his Christmas stocking for always making me think about his picks. 40 DAWG deserves a shiny brick or something for changing his name every single week. You all deserve something from me for spending your time here at this site when you could easily be at DeadSpin or somewhere else (read: masturbating to internets pr0n).

    There’s still a lot of football left to play and bet on so stay tuned for this weeks’ pool.

    How ’bout them Cowboys!?!

    HELL NIGHT IN NEW YORK CITY…

    December 3rd, 2006

    bang

    For several nights over the past week residents of the Queens New York housing project, Baisley Park, experienced something they haven’t seen for two decades – Hell Night from the New York City Police Department.

    Eighteen years ago it was the shooting death of rookie police officer EDWARD BYRNE that prompted the police to kick in all the doors within this southeastern Queens neighborhood. BYRNE had been assigned a detail to guard a witness in a drug dealing murder trial. BYRNE was alone in his squadcar when a lone gunman approached the vehicle and pumped four bullets into the car. That event set off a hellish week of instense police intimidation of all residents in the neighborhood.

    Everything from arrest raids to open harrassment was done in order to apprehend the person(s) involved with the BYRNE shooting. In the wake of their overzealousness the police left a community abused, scarred and raw. It wasn’t that the good people in this neighborhood weren’t tired of the drugs and the destruction that they wrought. It wasn’t that the fair-minded people in this neighborhood didn’t want justice for the murdered officer. These people were GOD-fearing, hard-working and tax-paying, but most importantly they wanted the respect that any human deserves. They were tired of being treated like chattel.

    One of the biggest problems that Blacks suffer from is the fact that their communities are populated by several disparate and diverse classes of people. Those that aspire to middle class status are adjoining neighbors that don’t have these values. The working class residents are met with the same treatment from the police as the people that are more than likely to be involved in criminal activity. The criminal elements in the Black community are sponsored by the police and the mafia because these people are willing to be the supply side in the drug trade.

    Drugs are not cultivated, refined, manufactured, processed or shipped by the Black community. They are issued to Blacks using the same conduits that were used for the illegal numbers and gaming rackets and later in prohibition these channels delivered the alcohol to these Black neighborhoods for distribution throughout the community. When someone attempts to contact the police in order to stem the flow of the contraband the police release the informers name to the racketeers who then use terrorism and violence against the informant. In this way the murder of EDWARD BYRNE was more than likely an inside job organized with the drug gangs using information given to them by the police. Why was a rookie cop left alone on an important overnight detail for a Federal drug and murder trial? These are questions that are not lost on the Blacks that are old enough to know better.

    The case of SEAN BELL is not that of the murder of another police officer, but the continuation of the tragic cycle of terrorism and violence that follows when a police officer feels that his manhood has been questioned in a public setting. The police now collaborate with a different mafia to move their agenda forward. The mainstream media has corroborated every twist in testimony that the police have issued for this case. The media has used the spectre of prostitution and drugs along with publishing the criminal history of the unarmed men in order to qualify the legitimacy of the police. In a cynical and insidious turn the New York Times has even created an expert who terms the use of excessive force by the police as a phenomena called ‘contagious shooting‘.

    So the Queens neighborhood finds itself under siege again, but this time it is their own victimization that has made them targets. As the police search for the phantom fourth passenger on the grassy knoll we can clearly see that supremacy has no intention of losing this battle in the court of law or the court of public opinion. Doors are kicked in again and a neighborhood kneels on the sidewalk with it’s collective hands behind their heads wondering when the terrorism will end.

    The end already came for SEAN BELL. Supremacy is the inconvenient truth.

    bangout

    KIMORA LEE SIMMONS Is A Raging Anti-Semite

    December 3rd, 2006

    kimora

    While KIMORA LEE and RUSSELL SIMMONS were touring through the African nation the Republic of Botswana to visit the diamond mines that the T.I.’s have on smash KIMORA was overheard to be complaining about the body odor’s of the local people.

    Hasn’t RUSSELL told KIMORA about the tolerance that you must have for all peoples? The people that live in Botswana are some of the poorest, most downtrodden folks on the planet. Famine, drought, disease and AIDS give them one of the lowest rates of mortality and all KIMORA can think about doing is selling her Baby Phat perfume. I can’t wait for her and RUSSELL to return to New York and try to sell me their Def Jam Jewelry for Christmas. The one thing that KIMORA has learned from RUSSELL is how to hustle people.