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The Monday Morning Quarterback Wk.15

Monday, December 18th, 2006

grammatica

Well looky here, looky here. Another weekend of shockers and upsets. I can only blame myself for not selecting Tennessee to topple the Jaguars. My better football sense knew it was going down. Some of you are using the Heavy Roller picks to perfection. ESBEE had a lousy week in the pool but racked up with his Heavy Roller points. The higher your total score becomes the less the H.R. points will help you. The pressure is already mounting on AMADEO as he relies on the bonus points to hold him atop the lead. I bet he goes down this upcoming weekend.

Shouts go out to SASQUATCH FARTELLEONE who has willed himself into position with Bonus Points and flatulence. CANDICE maintains a snipers’ eye view of the lead as well. Did anyone pick up on the fact that LM went with the Cowboys and not with his beloved Redskins? Props to everyone who predicted that the Eagles would shit on the Giants. Here’s a look at the points breakdown for this week…

THE DALLAS = 8 pts (69)
CANDICE = 11 pts (75)
40’s-Worth “Bumpy” Johnson = 4 pts (68)
LM = 8 pts (72)
AMADEO = 8 pts (77)
Mr.KAMOJI = 10 pts (75)
SASQUATCHFART = 10 pts (74)
J trademark= 6 pts (57)
PRYNSEX = 9 pts (72)
S DOT = 10 pts (73)
ALEX2.0 = 8 pts (72)
ESBEE = 26 pts (65)
SHONQUAYSHAH= 6 pts (55)
TIFFANY = 18 pts (57)

The tension is building… Who will win this thing???

Posted in Sports are Gay | 9 Comments »

NBA SEASON 2006-07: Yes Homo!

Sunday, December 17th, 2006

knicks

Before we even discuss the basketball game that broke out during the boxing match at Madison Square Garden last night can we all just look at the above image for a moment. How gay does that look?

The NBA has seen all of this before and they haven’t helped themselves either in their greedy lust to find another MICHAEL JORDAN. When you draft athletes solely for their athleticism then you missing out on the most important component in sports. Sportsmanship. All of these wonderful athletes know how to run and jump and dunk the basketball, but none of them have enough basketball skill to make a good bounce pass or to defend the pick and roll. These guys are one trick ponies that don’t even know how to respect their own teammates, so why would we expect them to respect another team?

showbee

I blame this on the fact that a lot of these players are raised by their mothers or their grandmothers. JIMMY’s got a little bitch in him and it manifests itself when he gets frustrated. I commended the league for making all of these guys take off the pantyhose this year. It wasn’t a gay look because they were tight, it was a gay look because they WERE tights.

The NBA’s image problem however won’t be solved by butching up the uniforms. As long as America promotes this twisted concept of masculinity to its men, Black men will end up looking like savages or worse, hockey players.

panties

Posted in Social Upheaval, Sports are Gay, T.O.N.Y. | 15 Comments »

The DP Dot Com Football Pool (Wk 15)

Thursday, December 14th, 2006

dallas texans

First off, peace out to LAMAR HUNT. Old boy was part of the O.G. NFL Illuminati and he even coined the term ‘Super Bowl’. Plus, how gully is the name LAMAR for a white?

Yes, yes, y’all. This is what you came here for – crunch time. There are only three weeks left to play in the football season and the pool is starting to tighten up. Just try to imagine everyone within three points of each other for week 17?!? A lot of y’all will be going against your so called favorites on that week. Maybe even AMADEO.

This internets thing has your boy going crazier than Gnarls Barkley over here, plus my lady is starting to throw me shade because I am hugged up on the laptop more than her lap top. Somethings going to have to give. It may be time for an intervention or some shit. The one guy I was gonna turn to to get me out of the house and on the handball court turns out to be a webhead too. LM, thanks as always for the support. It will kind of suck if you win the football pool since you have given me so much money for DP Dot Com projects. By the way, at the end of football season we will have a new contest called cRap Music Fantasy League. If you know anything about cRap music and/or you wan’t to stay connected to the site this will be the next jumpoff.

This is no time to lose focus. You have these three weeks to come up in the game and win a pair of custom DP Dot Com NIKE I.D. shoes. These joints aren’t even available on the internets. I am having them designed at a special lab in lower Manhattan. Exclusive leathers in the colors of your favorite team or of your choosing. It’s going down like that for whoever wins this pool.

***Heavy Roller Allowances are still in effect***
ESBEE (+5) per pick
JESSE (+4) per pick
J trademeark(+3) per pick
Everybody else (+1) per pick

***The first pool game this weekend is on Saturday night. Don’t sleep because you will be slipping.***

CHEA!

DALLAS COWBOYS @ ATLANTA FALCONS
RON MEXICO meets ROMO. Atlanta better have on some protection.

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS @ TENNESSEE TITANS
VINCE YOUNG has got a whole lot of people looking even dumber than they claim he was.

MIAMI DOLPHINS @ BUFFALO BILLS
The ‘Fins are typically 0 for December.

NEW YORK JETS @ MINNESOTA VIKINGS
Jets should rebound from last week’s debacle. I like saying the word debacle.

WASHINGTON REDSKINS @ NEW ORLEANS
I hate you JOE GIBBS, but if you win this one for me…

PITTSBURGH STEELERS @ CAROLINA PANTHERS
Back to Hell RAE CARRUTH.

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES @ NEW YORK GIANTS
JEFF GAYCIA and MICHAEL GAYHANDS meet up after the game at the Stonewall Inn. Don’t even ask me how I know to say that.

BONUS POINTS * HEAVY ROLLER * BONUS POINTS

Who has the most passing yards this weekend?
BRETT FAVRE or DREW BREES?

Who records the most sacks this weekend?
JASON TAYLOR or JULIUS PEPPERS?

Will KANSAS CITY win one for the Gipper?
YES or NO

Total combined score for TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS @ CHICAGO BEARS
OVER or UNDER 37 pts

Posted in C.R.E.A.M., Fashion Faux Pas, Sneaker Fiends United, Sports are Gay, The Addict | 21 Comments »

ALLEN IVERSON Was Philly’s Illest Evar…

Wednesday, December 13th, 2006

allen illy

It takes a lot for me to say that headline since I am as big a fan of BARKLEY as anyone. I dogged IVERSON early in his career because I used to see him in NYC as much as I saw him on the TV. At Club N.V., The Tunnel and other little one off parties that were frequented by Hip-Hop’s glitterati. The Knicks at the time were still managing the remnants of the failed championship squad and IVERSON was one of those professional athletes that I would sneer at in person. Partly because I was jealous and partly because I was taller than him. Let’s be honest and say that my gullyness had boundaries. I am also taller than MIKE TYSON and I never EVER sneered at him when he walked past me at night spots like Bentley’s and Red Parrot.

This is actually why IVERSON slowly became one of my favorite players in the Association. He isn’t physically imposing, but the man is as tough as junkyard dog in Nigeria. He is fearless and for ten years he has sacrificed his body to win basketball games, not scoring titles. There is a problem with the professional teams that play in the city of Philadelphia. How come none of these teams are willing to surround their talented players with complementary talent? Heaven forbid another superstar. This is why Philadelphia is doomed to exist in also ran purgatory. Meanwhile, Iverson is now the problem in all the Philly daily papers. Give me a fucking break?!? Philadelphia is so depressed and lackluster the one time that Blacks weren’t shooting the shiite out of each other was during Sixer games. You need to say a prayer for young Black teens living in Philly right now.

I ain’t mad at you ALLEN for kicking your B.M. out the house butter azz nekkid. I ain’t mad at you A.I. even though you was only fucking NAS’ baby mama because she was NAS’ baby mama and maybe you thought that was your entre into the cRap music world. I ain’t even mad at the shitty cRap album you put out. I respect you boy-boy because you kept your shit hardbody from day one. If there’s any love from the bosses in the Association they’ll let you go to Minnesota and do your thing-thing on the waters of lake Minnetonka. Peace my dude.

allen illy

Posted in Black Bullshit, Crappers, Ghetto Celebs, Sports are Gay, When I Reminisce... | 22 Comments »

The Monday Morning Quarterback Wk.14

Sunday, December 10th, 2006

ouch

I hope y’all are having fun right now. I know JESSE is. Some of you have really gotten a handle on the Bonus Points Heavy Roller system. It can make a bad week a good one and a good week a great week. Some of you clowns bubbled crazily while I had a worst week evar. Oh well, thank GOD there’s still a next week. Let’s add up the points…

THE DALLAS = 2 pts (61)
CANDICE = 11 pts (66)
“Ashy to Classy” 40 Blassie = 9 pts (64)
LM = 6 pts (64)
AMADEO = 8 pts (69)
JESSE = 14 pt (49)
Mr.KAMOJI = 8 pts (65)
SASQUATCHFART = 9 pts (64)
J trademark= 25 pts (51)
PRYNSEX = 11 pts (63)
S DOT = 5 pts (63)
ALEX2.0 = 7 pts (64)
ESBEE = 12 pts (39)

Duty calls me right now so we will pick this discussion up later this week. Here’s a quick prediction. Whoever gets to 100 points wins the pool.

Posted in Sports are Gay | 11 Comments »

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