Archive for the ‘C.R.E.A.M.’ Category

CIRCA = The Retro Gear Jumpoff

Thursday, May 24th, 2007

circa

Imagine being able to go all the way back to 1987 and copp that Polo rugby that you always wanted but you were only seven years old so it wouldn’t have looked right on you. Or that Sergio Tachini sweatsuit, or that MCM leather cap. If retro B-boy flavor is your passion then I have the party for you…

p-wing

CIRCA
@ GABRIEL URIST’s Worlds Fair
204 Elizabeth Street (between Prince and Spring Streets)
June 2, 2007 – One Day Only – 12pm to 8pm

Don’t sleep playboys. Copp some one of a kind vintage I.T.’s from the 1970’s-1990’s.

circa

BEISBOL IS STILL STRIKING OUT ON STEROIDS…

Thursday, May 24th, 2007

barry bonds

GIAMBI’s comments = super hardbody

JASON GIAMBI has thrown the proverbial wrench in the machine by making his almost confession to a USA Today journalist. If he had admitted outright to taking steroids it wouldn’t have been as bad as the comments he made. GIAMBI said that the players AND OWNERS were both duplicitous with equal complicity (no Sylvester the cat).

JASON GIAMBI didn’t tell the whole truth to that Federal grand jury. He omitted the fact the team owners helped facilitate the steroids era by sponsoring the drug dealers trainers that had carte blanche access to the team’s clubhouses, weight rooms and practice areas. People seem to have forgotten how desperate major league team owners were after the season ending strike in 1995. The possibility of making each game a home run derby with souvenir baseballs flying out of the park was just too sexy to resist.

The good times evaporated and the shit bubbled over when BARRY BONDS obliterated the single season home run record. BONDS was arguably the best hitter in baseball already and the 350 ft. lines drives that he normally sprinkled around the outfield became 400ft line drives over the right field fences. BONDS was always this good, but he had the nerve to know it, and the gall to show it. I’m not surprised that Major League team owners threw BARRY BONDS under the bus. They knew that BARRY wasn’t going to put on the white gloves and tapdance around after his retirement like the G.O.A.T. WILLIE MAYS does. BARRY doesn’t have a gambling problem like WILLIE does either.

The real issue that JASON GIAMBI has brought to light is how much of America’s pastime is tied up in penthouse office suites by stuffed suits that care nothing for the integrity or perfection of the game. The owner’s greed begat the player’s greed. So as these rich bastards stumble and stammer over each other’s lies I sit nearly six stories up in the sky watching adults play a gotdamn kid’s game and trying not to get a nosebleed.

I ask you this… Who’s the fool?

barry bonds

The 2007 NBA Playoffs… Who The Eff Cares?!?

Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007

freakball

How boring are the NBA Playoffs? Last year I told the NBA to do away with the East-West seeding brackets by simpling installing a 1 through 16 seeding bracket. If I could have seen Phoenix and Dallas in a high scoring Finals I would have been happy. As it is I will tune in to see what San Antonio and Detroit have to say.

I think basketball is swooning now because of the nature of athleticism and the parameters of the game itself. What if the goal were heightened three more feet? This would stop all these ridiculous dunks and maybe SHAQUILLE O’NEAL would start jumping again. I would totally support the use of dwarfs as basketballs. The NBA tried that bullshit microfiber ball this season and everyone hated it. Dwarfs are better as long as you don’t dribble them by their chipped teeth.

How about letting defenders use baseball bats to stop ball handlers from attempting layups? That should be good for a little cross-sport synergy with America’s favorite pastime. I just know that Major League Baseball would totally subscribe to almost anything right now to appear hip again. How about free cocaine night at the arenas and the ballparks?

Damn, I am like a marketing wizard.

Bodegas, Bodegas, Everywhere And Not A Quarter Water To Drink…

Monday, May 21st, 2007

bodega

Shouts to my brother from another mother over at OhWord Dot Com. It looks like the New York City Department of Health has been watching the ‘Internets Celebrities’ videos. They just released a report stating that bodegas sell shitty foods. Ha. The Internets Celebrities told you that last year.

Former NYC Mayor EDWARD KOCH could have told you that the bodegas are the only places poor people and the disenfranchised shop. The bodegas are even frequented by the middle class as well. Former Mayor DAVID DINKINS still goes to the bodega when he wants to pick up some party favors. It’s real like that.

dinkins

Speaking of bodegas…

Brooklyn Bodega Dot Com is at again. I’m talking about their annual Brooklyn Hip-Hop Festival. NYC doesn’t have enough free Hip-Hop events planned for the summer but the Brooklyn Hip-Hop festival nearly puts the entire season on it’s back. There are weekly events that lead up to the climax which is an outdoor concert with Ghostface Killah. Large Professor has just been added to a couple of festival dates. So don’t fake the funk and get your mind right early this summer Put the Brooklyn Hip-Hop Festival on your calendar. Not now, right now.

DOWNLOAD UPDATE ** DOWNLOAD UPDATE ** DOWNLOAD UPDATE

You cats struck gold today. Here is a link to D.L. The Dark Crystal movie. Big shout to DP Dot Commenter Kaos for doing us this justice.

BILLY SUNDAY Says… “Let Them Eat Cake.”

Wednesday, May 9th, 2007

dash

DAMON DASH would be the first person to readily admit to you that he has a problem. He is addicted to making money. DASH has even called himself a cake-a-holic as a way of introducing an urban colloquial for his desire to earn money. DASH briefly used a reality television program to bring to view the values to which he considered esteemable. Black Entertainment Television’s ‘The Ultimate Hustler’ was an achievement in low-brow stereotypical minority run business plans and it probably paved the way for television programs like ‘Flavoe of Love’ and ‘I Love New York’. The cooning and shuffling was disguised in the program’s ‘Apprentice’-like knock off format.

DAMON DASH has already become a caricature of himself at this point. He no longer shepherds the stable of artists under the Rocafella Records imprint. He has also been removed from his partnership role at Rocawear clothing. Jay-Z, the persona that DASH created based on a Harlem drug dealer named A-Zee, has become a corporate darling and he is consulted and consorted by major corporations that covet the urban money spending demographic. Don’t let the irony of this reversal of fortune be lost on you. DAMON DASH has never given any care or forethought to the images that he has helped shaped through Hip-Hop and rap music.

These images have been of characters that trafficked drugs for the sport and lust of wealth, nary shedding a tear for the destruction of communities that these drugs will have wrought. Because their world of trafficking narcotics was metaphorically based on the music they delivered they might have imagined that no one was ever damaged by their deeds. Instead, I see a generation plus of young people that can recite several rap songs to me verbatim but don’t know that they reside within Kings County. It is not enough to say “Broooooooooklyyyyyn!”

The other shoe dropped this week when one of my friends from the woeful record industry sent a facsimile to my desk of some papers that were circulating through the halls of DAMON DASH’s old workplace. It always seemed to me that the life of a hustler should include making sure that the true hustlers were paid off first.

dash
That amount seems somewhat piddling to the following amount which is admittedly more money than I will ever see in my lifetime. If DAMON DASH owes the I.R.S. over two million in back taxes then I can only imagine how much money he made overall, bearing in mind that rich people don’t submit the portion of their incomes to the taxman that us regular poor people have to.

dash

Now don’t shed a tear for DAMON DASH. He’s been through tougher spots than this one and the apartment he owns in TriBeCa would probably sell for 10x the amount of that tax warrant. The one thing above all other things that DAMON DASH has proven is that he knows how to sell shit to Black people. That alone makes him invaluable to the Tall Israelis. DASH has got to have a rabbi left on his team that can help him return to prominence.

Otherwise DASH will be like so many other folks who eschewed the lavish life and ultimately ran out of bread. In the famous last words of Marie Antionette when the Parisians had run out of bread… “Let them eat cake.” I guess that won’t be too bad after all for this admitted cake-a-holic.

dash