Archive for the ‘C.R.E.A.M.’ Category

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BILLY SUNDAY Says Pink Hats Are For Broads

Friday, June 2nd, 2006

Summertime almost snuck up on us without me giving you the official dallaspenn.com fitted hat lineup for the season. If you can still afford the prices of these caps then peep some of my choices for the summers’ most ubiquitous B-boy accessory.

Speaking of ubiquitous…
evil empire

Love ‘em or hate ‘em you have to respect the gangsta of the MLB’s evil empire. The only one you should own is the classic though. A pink Yankees fitted should only be worn by members of the camouflage lingerie mafia.

spankees

Otherwise known as DipSet.

The Sneaker Fiends M.V.P. this season will be the all-black Giants chapeau. The 3-D ‘SF’ on the front should become the logo for sneaker fiends across America. No orange button on the crown if you can find one that exclusive.

sneaker fiend

Another classic that stays fresh in the streets is the St.Louis joint. The best part is that you can rock this joint Blood or Crip style too.

redbirds

bluebirds

I am partial to wearing a Tribe hat because I always dug ATCQ’s jazzy sound and I got some in’jun in my family genes. Just think, one day when the African American population is decimated from disease, drugs and alcohol maybe we can get our own hat too.

in'juns

Well what do you know?!? We already got one. Woo hoo! Go Niggros!

chattanooga lookouts

I am in a New York state of mind this summer so I will definitely copp one of these Met I.T.’s. Being the boss of the National League East should have some benefits.

mets

The most important thing to remember about your fitted cap is that it should fit. If you can still shove another skull inside of your cap then your hat isn’t ‘fitted’. It is actually a bonnet.

Posted in C.R.E.A.M., Crappers, Fashion Faux Pas, Sports are Gay, The Addict | 2 Comments »

Attack Of The Clones

Friday, June 2nd, 2006

stormtroopers

I think it was TONY’s KANSAS CITY that predicted the backlash would come when the mainstream media (MSM) would begin to blame the troops for the war in Iraq. What’s interesting to me since I read mostly foreign news feeds is that everyone across the globe is chiming in at the same time. If you ask me, the time to start looking in the opposite direction was on Memorial Day when the President said that the troops should be “honored”.

Here’s a small sampling of the headlines on the internets…

The British Broadcasting Company is leaking a videotape of U.S. Marines peeling TurtleNeck wigs back during an operation in one of those Iraqi ‘hoods. The BBC is calling it the ‘Massacre Musik Mixtape‘ series and the DVD is being hosted by Mobb Deep. Chances are I can go to Canal Street tomorrow and copp it from one of the Africans with the bedsheet spread out on the sidewalk. “I got eet for cheep beeeeches!”

This story here pissed me the fuck off too. Eight soldiers are being brought up on murder charges for merc’king ONE Turtleneck. What kind of peanut butter and jelly racial bullshit is this?!? Eight white for ONE sandnigger? Back in the days of the Constitution a brother was only worth 2/3 of a white. Now they done gone and said a white is only worth 1/8 of an Iraqi. Damn, that crude oil can make a motherfucker valuable like that?!?

I thought all that Abu Garbage shiite was over with, but now I see that they are going to jail the dude that sicked the German Shepherds on the prisoners. So you can call me a cornball, but I guess we all know ‘Who Let The Dogs Out‘.

The last time I checked it we were at war. It wasn’t a war that these soldiers voted on either. I am sure that if people had their choice they would be home with their families instead of in a godforsaken desert guarding oilwells. The Turtlenecks don’t want our brothers and sisters there anyhoo. All the Turtlenecks want to do is return to their way of life which included smelling bad, hating the Jews and beating their wives. Can you imagine the azz kicking some of those broads will be getting when all this shiite is finally over with?

I was too young to understand the politics of Vietnam, but I do remember we had a President back then that had a problem with tapping people’s phones and we called it Watergate. No need for the Deep Throat double-entendre this time around since President BUSH taps phones AND lets the water through the gates.

g dubbz loves black people

Posted in Black Bullshit, C.R.E.A.M., Jig Lit Review, Social Upheaval | 3 Comments »

Hollywood’s Lawn Jockey

Tuesday, May 30th, 2006

lawn jockey

My grandfather worked at a racehorse husbandry in Virginia. My grandfather wasn’t a vet, he was just one of the niggers. He shoveled shit and kept the horses fed and groomed. During the summer school break my dad would go to work with his dad and he would tell me about how backbreaking their daily work was. Some of the horses at the farm were champion studs and that’s when the animal would receive extra special attention from the veterinarians and the trainers. My dad thought that the trainers were his dad’s bosses because they paid him cash every week. When he got older he realized that the horse trainers were just paid servants of the real boss who may never have laid his eyes on my grandfather.

That disconnection is part of the culture that owns and breeds racehorses. I try not to begrudge them too much since there aren’t too many pleasures left in America for ‘whites only’. Horse racing was still a bastion for privileged gentility. That was until I went to see SMARTY JONES at the Belmont Stakes.

'04 stakes

I am no fan of horse racing, but since I am Black I can get into the peacock pageantry of The Kentucky Derby. Hollywood’s #1 lawn jockey, the little homey SPIKE LEE made an appearance at this years’ Derby with all the proper accoutrements. 1) Fly azz riding cap, and 2) fly azz redbone weedcarrier wife.

lawn jockey

How good is it to be SPIKE right now? Plenty good. His latest release will surely garner some Academy nominations. He is back into the busom of the big bucks in Burbank.

the L stands for lawn

His street cred remains high with those of us that love the Hip-Hop and can think outside of the box. Although he hasn’t spoken to us directly cinematically he has challenged our notions and ideas using traditional media outlets. When he openly criticized the pimp culture in rap music he was drowned out by the Oscar trophy being issued to 3-6 Mafia.

I say we raise a glass to toast my man SPIKE LEE. Ever since the days of MARS BLACKMON the lil’ homey has kept it real.

the Doc and the jockey

Posted in Black Bullshit, C.R.E.A.M., Fashion Faux Pas, Ghetto Celebs, Social Upheaval | 12 Comments »

LIL’ X Deserves a B.E.T. Humanitarian Award

Tuesday, May 30th, 2006

x

Superstar music video director LIL’ X is one of the biggest reasons that the Black female boonkey is one of the hottest items this summer season. X has steadily climbed up the ranks as one of music television’s most sought after autuers. He studied under the master, HYPE WILLIAMS, who is like the SCORSESE of the crap music video scene.

X deserves credit for making brownskin Black women equally objectifiable with their lighter skinned counterparts. To give these darker complexion women the amount of camera time that X has devoted to them I believe is worthy of some sort of NAACP Image Award. So will you stand with me, people of all different melanin dispositions and give this man some respect?

Plus, when he gives me a soul brother handshake at his birthday party it’s as if I was given the key that night for some exclusive video ho poon.

video ho

Posted in Black Bullshit, C.R.E.A.M., Crappers, Ghetto Celebs | 6 Comments »

GET OFF ME BALL!

Monday, May 29th, 2006

barry bonds

For one day in your life…

Don’t hate. Celebrate. Bitches.

Posted in C.R.E.A.M., Ghetto Celebs, Sports are Gay | 2 Comments »

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