Archive for the ‘C.R.E.A.M.’ Category

From Gay-Rod To A-Roids…

Tuesday, February 10th, 2009

ghey rod

Assholes like ALEX RODRIGUEZ and ROGER CLEMENS are totally predictable. The only thing these dudes care about is their legendary status. They could give two shits about their wives or their families. The wives might as well be groupies and the kids would be better off putting a pen in their hand and asking for an autograph.

Do you remember when Ghey-Rod and his wife were about to split up because he had totally moved out and shacked up with Madonna? Ghey-Rod didn’t give a shit who knew or how they felt. He told all of us haters to go fuck ourselves [ll]. Look how contrite his phony baloney ass becomes now that his iconic status and history in the game of baseball is in jeopardy from the sportswriters.

The sportwriters determine who enters the Hall of Fame and who is allowed to continue to trade up on their athletic exploits long after the playing days have ended. The sportswriters are the everlasting hype machine. They make the final decision on how and when the music will fade away.

I say fuck the sportswriters too. Those fucks act like athlete’s infidelity to their spouses isn’t news and doesn’t somehow correlate to the athlete as a person or a player. In 2003 sleeping with someone who wasn’t your wife WAS cheating, but using steroids was not (technically). A-Rod is a cheater Yankees fans, and you know what else? A-Rod is a loser. Ghey Rod couldn’t hold Manny Ramirez’ piss cup.

ghey rod

Bring Mannywood To Taxpayer Field…

Wednesday, February 4th, 2009

mannywood

The Los Angeles Dodgers aren’t serious about keeping MANNY RAMIREZ in their uniform for the next several seasons. I would like to see him in a Mets uniform for the rest of his career. How do we accomplish this? We use the same tricky accounting tactics that have brought the banking system to the verge of collapse.

The new Mets’ ballpark in Queens is being named CitiField after the CitiBank corporation secured the rights to the name. The same CitiBank that has been grabbing a fistfull of the American taxpayers retirement funds in order to buy jet planes for their executives and other bullshit that we don’t even know about.

CitiBank needs to pony up a billion dollars to the Mets so that they can sign MANNY RAMIREZ for the next fifty years. They can call it a World Series write down. All MANNY wants is to be paid more money than ALEX RODRIGUEZ and I agree with that. Gay-ROD hasn’t done shit other than blow DEREK JETER and have his tips frosted.

This is our effin’ money party people.

Rough, Rugged & Raw: Gore-Tex Euro Hiker

Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009

timbo

One of the reasons I haven’t been able to co-sign the Nike boots movement is because I am still deep with Timberlands to the tune of about forty pair. I might have two(or three) pairs of classic wheat highs alone. I also have instructions that I am to be buried in those joints. Let’s face it, Timberland classic wheat construction boots are the most Hip-Hop shoe of all time.

The pair I have pictured above are some super deluxe Gore-Tex Euro hikers. They are hands down my favorite pair. I have done all kinds of outdoorsy shit in these boots. Weeklong camping trips upstate. Construction sites. Shorts and wools socks in the cool parts of the spring and autumn. The only problem for Timberland with these boots is that they were made TOO well.

Timberland has the bad habit of making products that outlast the users desire to complete the activity they bought the shoes for. It’s like you buy a pair of hikers because you love to go camping every four weeks during the summer months and then the next thing you know you have these boots for over twenty years. Timberland has to return to designing boots for these people in mind.

You can’t make shoes for the urban consumer. No matter what race or class, the urban consumer is fickle and flighty. The heartland consumer is the person who makes consumption choices on some survivalist type ish. They buy shoes with the hope that this will be the pair they ride out the earthquakes, tornadoes and race wars with. The urban consumer just wants to be able to wear it with jeans.

I want to show you some of the boots from Timberland that I own. I have a pair that is over twenty years old. It doesn’t fit my feet any longer but I have kept them to remind me of the sacrifice I made to acquire them. They are the original Iditarod Race superboot. Most of you know them as the “40 Belows”. Just wait until you see those…

Will Work 4 Snuggie…

Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009

snuggie

Yep, it’s definitely time to let the banks rot in hell when they are secretly importing overseas workers to replace U.S. workers as a cheaper labor source.

AP Investigation: Banks sought foreign workers

Cash Rules Everything Around Me…

Sunday, February 1st, 2009

bernanke

Excuse me for fucking up your revelry with some reality, but the U.S. economy is fucked the fuck up.

Why The Bank Bailouts Are Doomed

The monies that have been earmarked to go back into the banking system won’t be able to cover all the losses that the banks want to claim. All these cash infusions do is buy some time before the collapse. The collapse will be painful, but in the long term it will prove to be healthy because it will return a level of transparency and clarity to our economy.

The U.S. economy is an insatiable crackhead right now. Everyone knows that the crackhead has to sell the family television and then the living room couch and then get evicted. All before it can finally wind up living on the streets and getting arrested for stealing something. Then while in jail it has to have its ass kicked and sodomized by the other prisoners (foreign economies) before it can emerge from jail on some economic evangelical shit.

Let’s just pray that the U.S. economy doesn’t have to come home from jail on some Muslim shit since that seems to happen to everybody that goes to jail.