Archive for the ‘When I Reminisce…’ Category

Get Off the Block…

Friday, May 25th, 2012

baskin robins

I have to be honest with you and tell you why I didn’t want to stand on the block with BAR-KIM. It wasn’t because I watched him serve crills to my Little League coach. It wasn’t because the money wasn’t good either because as a 15year old kid, $100 could get me 2 pairs of sneakers. The real reason that THUNDERCRACKER and I couldn’t stand on the block was MIKE COMBS.

MIKE COMBS was the baddest motherfucker from our side of the neighborhood. MIKE had been an all-world athlete who went into the Marines Corp. When he came back to his folks house around the way, he joined the police force. Even without a gun MIKE was the ultimate badass. If every neighborhood had a MIKE COMBS, there would be worldwide shortage of bullshit bullies.

When I was just a little shorty riding around on my Ross Apollo bike, I watched MIKE destroy this dude from the other side of the neighborhood so badly, I thought he killed him. I can’t even remember the kid’s name, only that he was one of the teenagers from the rough side of Corona that terrorized us kids from the quiet side. They would steal our bikes and our candy money. When I say ‘our,’ it is in the general sense of the word since I was lucky enough never to lose anything to the bullies. The closest I came was when I was 8yrs. old and some dude was going to take my bike but MIKE COMBS just happened to be coming out of his house.

I remember how MIKE jumped on the dude like an animal. When I say that MIKE administered a ‘surgical’ beatdown upon this kid, I am not using hyperbole. He punched him in his stomach and then uppercut the kid in the mouth so hard I can still remember the sound of that kid’s teeth cracking and smashing as they clicked together. The illest part was when MIKE picked the kid up in the air and slammed him down on the park bench so hard that he broke some of the wood slats. Try to imagine a whole bunch of people making that “ooooooooooooh” sound. MIKE then yelled at me to pick up my bike and go back home, which I did immediately. I don’t remember EVER having a problem in my neighborhood after that day.

So, you can imagine my suprise when, as I stood right off Northern Boulevard on a slower than usual Saturday night, I saw MIKE come up the block in his T-top Corvette. He was driving pretty fast but when he saw T. C. and me, he screeched to a stop. He yelled out my name, but I was already walking in the opposite direction. He yelled at me again and began to back his car down the block. First off, MIKE was a crazy motherfucker. I am not sure if he took steroids or not but he was brawlick like some backwoods country ‘Bama negro. You know the ones with no neck and three ft. wide shoulders. I realized that I had better stop and face him because if I made him chase me, there was no way to call it when he finally caught me. And he would catch me. I walked over to his car. MIKE had one of those Angry Black Guy looks on his face, with his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes bulging out.

“What the fuck are you doing on the block?!?” MIKE asked me.

“nuthin’, I was go-,” my meek response was cut short.

“I said what the fuck are you doing up here?!?”, MIKE demanded.

“I am going home,” I replied as I straightened up my posture.

“If I see you on this block again I will personally kick your ass and then I will take you to your house and help your father kick your ass!”

MIKE put his car in gear and screeched up the block.

T.C. looked at me and I looked right back at him and then without saying a word to each other or any of the other kids standing out there, we turned and started walking home.

The truth is that I wasn’t afraid of anyone in the neighborhood except for MIKE and my dad. I once witnessed my dad serving up this dope fiend who was breaking into cars on our block one summer night. The dope fiend tried to hit my dad with a tire iron, but my dad caught it mid-air on some crazy television fight scene shit and then proceeded to give the dope fiend the most hilarious ass kicking. My dad actually kicked that dude in the ass. Everybody watching the scene was talking about it all summer. It also allowed my friends to have a true sense of pity for me when they knew I was going to get in trouble for some dumb shit I did. I will tell y’all that my dad did beat my ass, but at least he never kicked it.

So when MIKE threatened to tell my dad you can guess I was pretty shook. The last people that you want to piss off are ex-Marines. They are already slightly touched. The last thing you want is for them to have a combat flashback on your azz.

CRACK was King, CRACK was the KingDevil

Friday, May 25th, 2012

The summer of 1985 was pretty hectic here in NYC. Crack had taken hold of the city by then. Not the imaginary crack of DipSet or G-Unit, but the real crack up in Breevort, up in Taft, up in Baisley, and the 40 Houses. The real crack that forced grandmothers to have to raise their grandbabies. That is, if they weren’t selling crack too. Everyone and their grandma would be selling it because it was in demand that much.

Black neighborhoods were already established as the outposts where you went to get all the vices you craved, because that is how the system works. Just like you might go to a mall or an outlet complex to do your shopping, the drug trade works the same way. These drug outposts are set up and the local people are used to work the outlets. These local people are the last stop in the chain of drug distribution. They aren’t part of the production division which refines these narcotics from farmed plants through a chemicalization process. These local people aren’t part of the transportation division which has to move tremendous amounts of these narcotics over many miles, requiring boats and planes and devices that can accomodate large loads. The local people surely don’t own the factories and manufacturing centers that produce the vials and containers that these narcotics are sold in. These local people aren’t even part of the process that decides which drugs go to which neighborhoods so that the communities may be studied for the long term effects of these drugs. Nope, when it comes to dope the Black communities are just the retail division. The last stop before the consumer.

In 1985, law enforcement made little distinction between the retailer and the consumer when it came to the prosecution of drug possession. The media trumpeted the center city violence that was a by-product of all the money that was up for grabs. This in turn forced the police to come down hard on the local dealers in their efforts to hold press conferences showing Black people criminals were being handcuffed. This is where T.C. and I come in the picture…

T.C. and I were not from the side of the neighborhood that the drug trade was conducted on. Trees lined the streets of our block and most of the houses had detached garages and manicured lawns. LOUIS ARMSTRONG’s house was around the corner as well as radio personality FRANKIE CROCKER and former baseball player TOMMIE AGEE. But even with that relative prestige there was still a call to us from the other side of the neighborhood where the working class people lived. Its almost as if they lived a realer ‘Black’ experience than we did. Nevermind the fact that our parents had struggled to graduate college and squirrel away their pennies to buy their homes. For T.C. and I as well as many middle class Black kids it wasn’t enough for us to have the melanin to confirm our ‘Blackness’. We needed something more.

T.C. and I were friends with a 5% dude named BAR-KIM (R.I.P.) whose government name was BARRY. He was from the other side of the ‘hood. Back in our graffiti days BARRY used the tag name BAR ONE. He always wanted to get up in our black books because he would see the names of writers from places he had never been to. By tagging up in someone’s black book you got to travel to other places. It was a chance to become immortal. T.C. and I now wanted what BARRY had which was the right to stand on the corner. The right to claim a 5ft. square flag of concrete pavement as your own place. When people would pass by BARRY they would acknowledge him and defer to him as though he was the overlord of that corner. BARRY was willing to share his corner with us, but we were going to have to help him with the administrative duties. STAT and LIL’ MIKE were in charge of the opposite corner, but they weren’t as committed as BARRY was. I didn’t think BARRY ever slept because I would see him on that block at every conceivable moment. BARRY had our ticket to street credibility within the neighborhood and he could see that we wanted it badly. One summer weekend BARRY made us an offer. If we would hold down the corner with him, direct traffic and look out for police he would give us a piece of his profit. If we were out there for about 10 hours we could have $50 dollars. In 1985 $50 dollars was a lot of money. Shit, I could use $50 dollars now and its more than twenty years later. The really good money though was in flipping packs. The actual selling of 100 vials of crack. So this was what we wanted to do. To take the express elevator to the top of the game.

Holding down a corner is without a doubt the hardest, most nerve-wracking job that you can ever do. There isn’t a minute to relax. People are steered to you on foot, on bicycle, in cars. You explain to them what you are holding and what the prices are. They have to move quickly and if they take too long to decide you don’t serve them. This teaches them to be decisive and to understand the pace of the block. The big danger were the undercover cops. Their cars were indistinguishable from all the vehicles that passed through the block. The busiest day of the week for them was Tuesday. To this day, I know people who call it ‘Task Force Tuesday’ and they don’t even sell or buy drugs. But even they know.

The lesson that T.C. and I were taught from this experience was how difficult selling drugs is around the people that you grew up with. Crack cocaine was such a powerful drug. The dependency it caused was relentless. The users were rabid and ravenous. I had never registered any of the buyer’s faces before, and I had never been on the block during a pay day either. Everybody was working their piece of concrete. The harried scene was surreal. It was as if crackheads were materializing out of thin air. Then they would disappear from you in the same manner as if the night shadows swallowed up their bodies. BARRY was moving wild amounts of work. He needed T.C. and I to help maintain order among the desperate drug abusers.

Some were returning for the second, third, tenth time that evening. I looked at them as if they were inhuman. It was as if their souls were removed from their bodies. The users were so paranoid that it offended me to witness them. Their constant state of panic annoyed me because I thought that it might be contagious like smallpox. The jittery twitching and repeated scratching wasn’t the only telltale idiosyncracy. These people spoke inaudibly because they were saying 100 words per second. I hated them. I hated their look. I hated their smell.

As the night moved on I found out how spiritually draining it would be to stand on the corner as a profession. We were approached by a tall hooded man with the most godawful filthy jeans on and a ridiculous pair of no name sneakers. There is nothing worse than a bummy crackhead and I was ready to kick this man in the azz just for being a junkie. My attitude changed when I saw the man’s face. He was my little league coach, LESTER TAYLOR. BIG LES was like the coolest motherfucker ever. He was a neighborhood fixture because he had been a college worthy cager back in the day. I remember that BIG LES always had a crispy pair of sneakers on when he came out to the field. I made my mother buy me a pair of Puma cleats because BIG LES always wore suede ‘CLYDE’ Pumas. He was tall and strong and loud and proud. More importantly, he was a really good coach. He never yelled at me when I made errors. He didn’t make fun of me for being a fat kid either. BIG LES didn’t force me to play catcher because in little league baseball the fat kid always has to play the catcher position. How in the world does this guy go from being a teacher, a hero, to being the biggest loser on the planet?

When T.C. saw LES he was as sad as I was. LES head dropped below his shoulders. He realized that we recognized him and his shame became an almost unbearable weight. I watched LES go to BARRY and give him a crumpled ball of cash. BARRY cursed at him for giving him the money in that manner. LES hunched over even further. BARRY told him that he wasn’t going to give him another sale unless he brought money that hadn’t already been used to wipe someone’s ass. LES skulked away into the darkness without raising his head to look back at T.C. or me.

Seeing LES that night was actually like going to my very first funeral. That little kid that played third base in little league was killed that night. I had to grow up now and remove the cover of innocence that had shielded me up to this point. Seeing LES made me angry at him for being a drug abuser. I became angry with myself for ever giving him the respect of an older brother. I was angry with BARRY, STAT and MIKE and all the other kids that sold crack. My anger became self-destructive and I turned it onto other people. I needed an outlet to vent. New York City was a big place. It almost wasn’t big enough to contain me.

R.I.P. THUNDERCRACKER

Thursday, May 24th, 2012

WHAT's THE FLAVOR!!??!!??

Editor’s note: Thundercracker’s bornday is typically Memorial Day (May 29th) so in his and Megatron’s memory we reminisce over them.

This day, fourteen years ago, I lost the best friend anyone ever had. He was like my younger brother; not young enough that I had to babysit him, but just young enough to listen to whatever I said. Well, not everything. But if it had some adventure to it, he was down for the crown.

We lived across the street from one another, in a part of the neighborhood where the kids were from two-parent homes that their parents actually owned. We were also medium lightskin and handsome. This made us and the kids from our enclave the envy of the rest of the neighborhood. We wanted to show the other kids that even though we went to schools in white neighborhoods and even though we had white friends we were still… Black!?!

T.C. and I would do simple stuff like boost juice from the bodega before we would go to the Parks Dept. public pool. When we got a little older we became writers, actually ‘taggers’, and we would ride our BMX bikes all around the city to do our graffiti in obscure places, like on the pedestrian walkway of the Tri-Boro Bridge. The funny thing was that we had to be pretty brazen when doing our ‘tagging up’ because we both had to be home before dark or risk punishment. Sure, we were afraid of the police, but our parents were way meaner than any cop we ever encountered.

As teenagers the level of our felonious misbehavings increased and we became car thiefs and part time drug dealers. Stealing cars was easy as hell, especially during the summer, because our homes were in parking range of Shea Stadium. There were some METS fans that had to suffer the double ignominy of rooting for a sucky team AND not having an automobile to drive home in after their team lost again.

When it came to selling drugs, me and T.C. knew we really weren’t from that part of the neighborhood. The older dudes that were giving us ‘work’ were doing it because they were desperate for some young bodies to stand on the corner and do ‘hand-to-hand’ for them. Once in high school, however, I was lucky enough to link up with some guys that needed more ‘work’ than a few measly redtop/yellowtop pieces and we left the block jigs to their own devices. That is why I loved T.C. like my brother. He was a straight rider, even when he knew I was getting into some crazy shit. And he always had my back.

So when I got down with a group of guys from my high school in Brooklyn who had banded together to keep the thugs from other rival high schools from always handing us our azzes, I invited T.C. to join. Nevermind that T.C. went to high school in Queens. My youth action group had grown quite large and as part of our public service mandate, we gathered after school to escort students to and from the train stations. Whenever T.C. met up with me and the fellas, we’d have the strangest luck in finding things all around the city. It was a lot of fun hanging out with the fellas, but after a while the time came for us to stop running around the subways and knocking people out for their GUCCI sweatshirts and PRINCE sneakers.

T.C. and I weren’t going to be drug dealers forever either. My parents had a video camera and I liked to make movies, and T.C. was one of those rare cats that had every rap song memorized, even the rare joints by T-LA ROCK that never were played on the radio. We were going to take the monies from all our illicit hustling and move to Los Angeles. We imagined that in our real life we were creating the script and soundtrack for the hipper, cooler, Black version of ‘Less Than Zero’.

T.C. and I never made it out to L.A. We never even got the chance to leave this damn time zone together. Sometimes I regret the fact that I have lived these past twenty years without my brother. I think about all the things that I have experienced as an adult that he would have liked to do. I still haven’t made the trip to Los Angeles, but when I get there I will be pouring out half my bottle of BELVEDERE for my brother.

UNICRON LIVES!!!

Thursday, May 24th, 2012

rip unicron

Editor’s note: Unicron lives!!! One of my brothers told me that Uni had passed. Thank God he hasn’t. This is how I feel when I think about my brothers.

When I think of all the brothers that I owe some measure of my breath to, I can never forget my brother UNICRON. There is no question in my mind that I am here today because of his street savvy and his courage.

The truth is that I was just a kid from Queens who got a chance to play street thug as if it were some amusement park ride and when I returned to the tree-lined streets of my neighborhood, the adventure and the drama ended. That wasn’t the case for my brothers that lived in the war zones. Their lives were caught up in a delicate and tenuous web in which a trip to the corner bodega for a carton of milk could be a final destination. There was no area in New York City for which this was more accurate than Ocean Hill – Brownsville. More specifically, the Brevoort housing complex. This is where UNICRON lived and where I almost met a fateful demise.

In the winter of 1988 I was no longer in high school and I wasn’t doing anything that my parents would consider productive or valuable. I spent my days traveling into Brooklyn or the city to meet up with my brothers. From there we would plot our day around what was usually a spontaneous and unpredictable chord. This is how so many of our days would begin, with a group meeting at ‘Sign of the Times’ park in Hell’s Kitchen, and then an afternoon of hell on Earth. Or something certainly akin to one of the rings in Dante’s Inferno. The promise of adventure, rewards, notoriety were all used as bait to induce as many brothers as possible to come along for the ride. I had spent so many days running missions with my brothers that I had begun to develop my own small satellite band of brothers that would accompany me anywhere with the utmost loyalty and zeal.

On a cool January afternoon the youth collective that I was a part of decided to visit a high school in midtown Manhattan. The potential for meeting some pretty young women and ‘finding’ some expensive jewelry were the temptations used to recruit members for the mission. The ulterior reason for this visit was to exact revenge upon some young men that had disrespected one of the senior members of the collective.

A connection that the collective had inside of the school located the boys who were guilty of the transgression and provided access into the school so that we could meet these youths inside of their classroom. As soon as the bell to switch classes was sounded, the signal was given to demand retribution. In the congested hallways mayhem ensued as young people roared and screamed and transferred their energy that was raw and unbridled. The fighting that ensued wasn’t as fierce as it was brutal. The sheer overwhelming numbers that my brothers contained made them look like a tsunami washing through the corridors. The destruction that was left in their wake was total and indiscriminate.

As my brothers exited the school they disappeared and blended into the multitudes of other teenagers that were shocked and awed out from their classes that afternoon. That transformation was imperative to the success of the mission. Otherwise, as a group of young Black teenagers near the school after the attack would become a target for the hundreds of police officers from the several local precincts surrounding the school. In these situations the collective relied upon the earlier briefings that established assigned rendezvous points throughout the subway stations along the 8th Avenue line. The key was to get to these points individually because any group of young Black teenagers near the mission area would become a target and therefore compromise the missions’ ultimate goal – a safe return home. This goal was something that I had always taken for granted, until this day.

uni

After we had all gathered at the meta-rendezvous area we decided to return to Brooklyn. Several members were confirmed as apprehended by the authorities. All others were present and accounted for especially my brothers from my Queens neighborhood. I took extra special care to insure that they would be part of an experienced recon team as opposed to part of one of the more robust and raucous scout teams. If these boys didn’t come home I would have to deal with two sets of angry parents.

As the 8th Avenue local marched through Brooklyn members would depart from the train at their respective stations. The brothers that lived in Red Hook, Walt Whitman and Farragut Houses would all exit at Jay Street. The collective members from Flatbush and Crown Heights would split from the core at Franklin Avenue to transfer for the shuttle train. The remainder would exit at Utica and then finally Ralph Avenue. Cybertron was located on the ‘Hill’ on Ralph Avenue. Cybertron was the home base for the collective’s leader, MEGATRON. My brothers RUMBLE, CYCLONUS and HEADSTRONG also lived there. On this cold wintry night, for whatever the reason, I decided to journey to Cybertron with some of my Queens brothers. I should have been satisfied with the afternoon’s mission and returned to Queens for the warmth and comfort of my parents’ home. This was a decision that I am truly lucky that I have lived to regret.

When we exited the subway station we were quickly summoned to attention. Along Fulton Street an anxious crowd was gathering. As we approached the crowd we could see that our brother RANSACK was in the center of this brewing storm. We sprung into action and began to extricate our brother in the only way that we knew how. Even though we were in the dead of winter our energy was so potent you could have told me that was July outdoors. As we chased the rival group into the lobby of Brevoort Houses we felt the rush of invincibility that comes from asserting your will on any mortal foolish enough to cross your path. This feeling was short lived. In a moment the temperature outside would feel as hot as Africa in the month of August.

From out of the doorway of the housing development came a young man who pulled a gun from inside his jacket lining. This wasn’t any gun I had ever seen before in real life. It wasn’t like the .22 caliber pistol that I had held before. It wasn’t at all like the chunky .38 caliber that was standard issue for NYC policeman in the days before the Glock semiauto. The only thing that I can relate this firearm to was the long barrel magnum used by Clint Eastwood in the ‘Dirty Harry’ film. The gun was a polished chrome that reflected the light on this cold, crisp night as if it were the sun itself. At that moment everyone that was advancing became frozen in their footsteps. The young man yelled something that I can not remember and then he pointed his gun at all of us that were standing in the courtyard of Brevoort Houses. As he began to pull the trigger everyone started running in every which direction, hopping over the wooden benches and hurdling the waist high cast-iron gates of the housing development. Everyone, that is, except for me.

I was hypnotized by the gun in a surreal sense. It was nothing like any picture show or television program that I had seen. The gun made a thunderous boom whose sound echoed several times off the housing project facades. I could actually hear the bullets. They were invisibly cutting through the winter night, leaving only the sound and effect of displaced air. I was transfixed. The shells passed by my ears or skitched along the concrete in the courtyard ricocheting off dumpsters and other miscellaneous metal. One of those bullets may have eventually come to a halt inside of my body had I not been tackled by UNICRON.

uni

He woke me up from my trance and then shielded me while the gunman continued to expend the shots loaded in the gun’s barrel. After a moment the shooting stopped and then UNI helped me up to my feet. My legs initially were unable to move and I looked around to see if THUNDERCRACKER, was alright. I scanned the crowd and found him crouched behind the concrete support of a park bench. He was untouched by a bullet, but we were both touched by the experience. We dashed for the subway at a speed that would have put CARL LEWIS to shame. On the ride back home THUNDERCRACKER, SOUNDWAVE, POLOTRON, DUE and I did not say one word to each other. It was probably two days after that my heartbeat finally returned to a normal rate.

What was painfully honest to admit was that we had been acting out a fantasy as outlaw youth. When our collective was initially formed it was to repel the knuckleheads that would come up to our high school to terrorize us. But as the stakes got higher and higher so did the methods for fighting. There were no more ‘fair ones’ between the youth. Brass knuckles gave way to knives; switchblades were replaced with Smif-n-Wessuns; and our collective had transformed from defenders into the very oppressors that we had vowed to combat

I am eternally grateful for my brother UNICRON for saving me on that evening. Unfortunately, he would eventually meet with a fate like so many other young men that are unwittingly trapped in the downward spiral of violence. UNICRON had a sense of courage and compassion that so many other young men possess, but was without the direction and the proper tools to construct a sustainable sufficient way of life. And now he is lost to us forever.

uni

UNICRON’s sacrifice on this night transformed me. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the last time that I would need to learn a life lesson, but that my friends is another story…

Could It All Have Been So Simple Then…

Thursday, May 24th, 2012

bk tech

Editor’s note: Hail Meg!

Brooklyn Technical High School: 1986

Boys just want to have fun…

A Gang Gives a Name to Students’ Fear: Decepticons

Twenty five years ago I met a dude that helped show me all the potential that NYC held for those that weren’t afraid to bite the apple. Peace to Avalon, ThunderCracker and Megatron. The Stone brothers and the French brothers. Hell’s Kitchen Park was sometimes the meetup or maybe just Cuyler Gore Park off Fulton Street.

The Albee Square Mall was the Duffield Theater back in the day. If you ever heard of someone getting ‘duffed out’ then you just learned the origin of that phrase. I owe NYC so much and I keep giving back my soul. Peace to the fallen because those are my heroes.

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Hail Meg!