Archive for the ‘No Boutros Boutros… Ghali’ Category

These Stacks Stay Blowing…

Wednesday, March 31st, 2010

staxxx

Unlike my blog brethren, the great Combat Jack, I see the Kat Stacks storyline not as a trainwreck tragedy, but as the last of the great American success stories. Only in America can a whoare, who may very well have a learning disability, be able to negotiate for herself the lifestyle of her choosing.

Here I am going to a panel in Washington D.C. to advise people on how to get a foothold in the realm of social media and marketing and I stay one paycheck(not from any internets endeavors) away from eating at a soupkitchen. The Kat Stacks website is as basic as any basic bitch might devise and it is a murderer for referral traffic.

The sky is the limit for this chick because there is no line that she won’t cross. Kat Stacks’ is getting movie deals that aren’t pr0n? Kat Stacks is functionally illiterate and also securing book deals. This is the rapture ladies and gentlemen.

The cult of celebrity has found their savior and she is a hot mess-iah…


At the end of the day, we are all just suckers for love. Keep stackin’ your paper Kat.

Das Racist: Shut Up, Dude…

Tuesday, March 30th, 2010

das racist

Last summer Rafi Kam turned me on to the alt-rap wunderkinds Das Racist. In many ways they are who I can imagine I would have been if I had the talent and reckless abandon to make rap music, or any music for that matter. Smart, funny and incredibly talented at appearing NOT to give a fux, all the while, REALLY giving a fux. The world is a cruel place and Das Racist wears a coat of armor made of unforced farce. But don’t call these dudes ‘joke rap’ either or you will be missing the point. Das Racist is reality rap. Albeit altered reality. I fux with these dudes. For real.

Das Racist just released a free album called ‘Shut Up, Dude’ and it highlights their zany, focused, multi-culti-influenced rap style. If I had to put this album in a genre I would call it coke rap, but not where you are selling it, where you are taking it. The mistake you are making is looking to find a reference point for Das Racist. Can you imagine what the love children of Afrika Bambaata and Ayn Rand might rhyme like?

It’s called Das Racist, now shut up, dude…


Das Racist – ‘Who’s That Brooown!’


Das Racist – ‘You Oughta Know’


Das Racist – ‘$1 Can’

DP.com fanboy videos are in order. You’ve been warned.

das racist

Rap Music’s Van Wilder…

Tuesday, March 30th, 2010

killa

When nobody gave a shit about XXL’s Freshmen 10 concert here in NYC they recruited rap’s Van Wilder to get the people hype. #iHipHop

Busted Brackets…

Sunday, March 28th, 2010

ncaa

This was supposed to be the year that I finally won my own damn contest. I lose these joints every year. Subconsciously, they might be my excuse to buy sneakers for other people. While I may not have been able to pick a team for the final 4 I can definitely spot the outcome for this year’s winner.

Duke vs. West Virginia = There’ll be this melodramatic buildup to honor the kids from WVU who got shot the fux up a couple of years ago. Duke will win in the end tho’. I mean c’mon, the Chef >>> Bob Hoskins.

Michigan State vs. Butler = Tom to tha’ Izzo.

Duke cuts the last nets (no internets).

*If Darvin Ham’s Shards wins this pool he will be one handball game win away from the DP.com Triple Crown (NFL, NCAA and handball)

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Saturday, March 27th, 2010

glowposite

Kid Cudi – ‘Day-N-Nite (Crookers Remix)’

Premium Pete isn’t working with Premium Laces any longer, but he still keeps dropping the premium designs. Pete calls these joints the Glow-posites. They are the Penny 1 Foamposite with an upper made entirely of 3M material. The kicker is that the soles are glow in the dark rubber. These joints are too futuristic for even Nike to compose.

The Penny 1 Foamposite is one of Nike’s most iconic sneakers. It changed the game as much as the the first visible airbag did. These shoes are the looking glass to the future. Super lightweight and virtually indestructible and unlike most of the Nike retro styles the Foamposite’s price point has barely changed. This is the ONLY sneaker on the market worth $200.

Premium Pete just designed a shoe that eclipses the Air Yeezy in design and value. Pete also knew I would enjoy the Kid Cudi reference. Premium Pete has some other Foamposite designs on tap that are sure to keep the internets going nuts. Would someone at corporate please fly this man to Beaverton so we can get at least one of his designs into production?

Hello?!?

Rob??!!??

You can keep up with Premium Pete on his column over at SneakerNews.com