Archive for the ‘cRap Fantasy League’ Category

B.I.G. Words and B.I.G. Thoughts…

Friday, March 9th, 2007

bignpac

image jacked chain snatcher style from rockthedub.com

There is going to be a lot of reminiscing going on today for the tenth anniversary of the death of CHRISTOPHER ‘Notorious B.I.G.’ WALLACE. In my honest opinion, fans of Notorious should celebrate his bornday more than the day that his essence was removed from the cipher. Hip-Hop must come from under this culture embracing and glorifying death. Maybe that is the problem with American culture as a whole. Color me guilty, I just went to see the movie ‘300’ last nite. It was visually beautiful but it describes the story of the glorious death of 300 Spartan soldiers. What’s my point???

Here’s a little video to watch after you pour some of your good alcohol out on the ground…

Light A Ciggar For Jiggar My Niggar…

Wednesday, March 7th, 2007

jigger cigger

By now you all know that the Roc-A-Wear brand clothing line was sold to a conglomerate for over two hundred million. Now I know in my mind of minds that JAY-Z never “owned” the brand, but I am sure that he caught some coin from that sale and stands to reap some more Benjy’s and benefits depending on how long the brand remains viable.

That shit always looked like clown shoes to me and the brand never had the depth of design that Phat Farm had. All they have are hoodies and sweatpants. At least Phat Farm and Sean John expanded their lines with adult items like sweaters and button-up shirts. Everything that I found in Roc-A-Wear that was my size made me feel retarded. Akademics and Ecko are smarter and better designed urban brands, but Roc-A-Wear has one thing none of them can have – the MICHAEL JORDAN of rap recording.

Roc on SHAWN CARTER, roc on…

fox

Did you hear that FOX BOOGIE has been banned from Junior’s Restaurant in Brooklyn?

Damn FOXY!? This chick needs an image consultant ASAP. She needs someone to take her azz down to the shelter on Nevins Street and have FOXY work a few days on the soup kitchen line, then take her azz to the free clinic on Flatbush Avenue and have FOXY pass out condoms or some shit. You know, give back to the community. If someone who has love for this chick doesn’t intervene the next thing you know will be “FOXY gets barred from KUM KAU”. That shit would be fucked the fuck up.

Too bad Pretty Boy can’t even sneak her a cheesecake.

obama

Your boy BARACK “No really, I’m Black” OBAMA is getting tons of press lately as he campaigns hard for the Democratic nod in 2008. He came to NYC and was feted by the niggerati glitterati from the music and entertainment business.

I’m not part of the bandwagon that cares about BARACK’s questionable Blackness. Any honest bi-racial person that has felt the sting of racism will tell you that when the rubber hits the road being Not White = Being Black. I’m a part of the minority that asks the most pertinent question… Who the fuck is BARACK OBAMA?!? This dude is like the cat that you never heard of before, but now he is gonna run for the president? What is his Senatorial record? Who are the main contributors to his campaign? He has to be put through the same hoops that we put a BOB DOLE, or a WALTER MONDALE, or a MICHAEL DUKAKIS into and when we see what comes out then we can decide if he is really the golden child.

Or the golden brown child, since he is a nigger.

The (white) Rapper Show = Weed Carrying 101

Wednesday, February 28th, 2007

ice ice baby

If there was anything that I gleaned from the ego trip (white) Rapper Show is that MC Serch can still bring fame to a bag holder without getting their ass kicked by Hammer’s goons.

I mean, what do you think the future holds for Shamrock or John Brown? They will be rap music footnotes as soon as the second season begins to air. Anybody remember Nikki ‘Hoopz’ Alexander? Exactly. The best chance for one of these rappers to keep his names on people’s lips will be for them to carry a bag and keep smiling. Busta Rhymes could use a new chauffeur so that’s something to think about also.

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crowd

As A Salute To Weed Carrier’s NYC field correspondent I took the assignment of attending the (white) Rapper Show wrap up party in order to celebrate the arrival of celebrity bag holding with a bang(no Tony Yayo). The dude that carried Serch’s sacks the best would be awarded with something even more valauble than a recording contract. He was going home with $100,000 dollars. That’s a whole lot of ounces of that piffy piff and you know what I’m saying. The crowd that filled the club was lively and after the broadcast of the final episode of the television show we were all hyped up for the real show.

persia

persia

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Persia, who was one of the most popular rappers on the show cleaned herself up and brought her bawdy ass Big Momma Cass routine to the stage. Her flow was competent and had improved somewhat since we last saw her on the show which was filmed some six months ago. I will admit that I found her attractive in a big girl kind of way. She had on some high heels that matched her belt and for a moment I considered bending her over backstage along with about three hundred or so of the other internets geeks that had climbed up from their mother’s basements to come to the show. The only thing that separated me from the geeks were the ten or twenty rounds of free Bacardi that threw back thanks to the crew from OnSmash and G.O.O.D. Records (yeah, them dudes).

ego trip

serch

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John Brown, the runner up for the contest, was the show’s highlight but I was too tired and it was after midnight so I didn’t stay to watch him perform. Instead I caught the ego trip collective and MC Serch spit some freestyles for the crowd. Serch talked shit about people in the crowd and the clothes he had on. When he spit that shit about the Decepticons and his Timberlands the place went bananas. Well, at least one dude in there went bananas, but he was a big dude. Serch can do his freestyle thing. The ego trip collective… Not so much. Fun was still had by all. The (white) Rapper Show is a movement that you had better get in tuned with. Season 2 is on it’s way. Believe that!

The (white) Rapper Show: It’s A (white) Wrap!

Tuesday, February 27th, 2007

ice ice baby

The ghetto revival was in full effect in Brooklyn as ego trip magazine and Mass Appeal celebrated the wrap up to season one of their runaway hit television show ‘ego trip’s (white) Rapper Show’. It was a star studded event that brought out some of the new ghetto’s great luminaries. Being an Internets Celebrity I thought I should join the fray of C-listers and general Hip-Hopdom that has come to embrace the (white) Rapper Show for the entertainment that it brings as it’s basic mission.

From the outset it looked like it would be a promising night as the line to enter the club formed early.

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crowd

I didn’t have a ticket to the sold out event, but I am a gotdamned Internets Celebrity and that has to be worth something. As the intensity began to build up outside I knew I was going to need the hook up. Good thing my folks from OnSmash dot com rolled up on this piece. They had the carte blanche V.I.P. guest list open bar status and they put me down. Good looks to HOFFA and PLAIN PAT. FERRIS BUELLER?!? BUELLER? BUELLER? Where you at pimpin’?

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I chopped it up for a few with G-Child. She comes from Allentown, Pennsylvania. If you know me when I go drinking then you know that I had to use all my mental power to restrain myself from singing that BILLY JOEL song ‘Allentown’. PERSIA was in the building and she was bringing sassy and sexy back for all the thick chicks. I give her points for smelling so good.

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As always, Hip-Hop was for sale too. The Step-Off can was a big attraction during the pre-show.

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Y’all know him as 40 DAWG. His streets name is DIESEL. 40 rolled through with LORD SEAR. Blogging groupies are coming out of the woodwork so I better get my azz to the gym so I don’t have this wild gut like BYRON CRAWFORD. She let me smell her ear too because I told her that earwax is gonna be the sexy new accessory for the 2007.

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Hip-Hop documentarian HENRY CHALFANT came through as well as DP Dot Com arch-enemy TOM BREIHAN (pronounced BRY-HAN). We spent nearly an hour debating whether TUPAC was really dead and whether or not he actually wrote all of his rhymes. Let’s just say that we finally agreed to disagree. The extra cheese smile on BREIHAN’s grill is because he and his brother JIM had on crispier Baltimore Orioles fitted hats than your favorite blogger did. Posers.

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PUNKS JUMP UP TO GET BEAT DOWN! The God LORD JAMAR.

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For more pics of the party and the performers follow this link to A SALUTE TO WEED CARRIERS.

SEPARATED AT BIRTH: HAT BOYS

Tuesday, February 6th, 2007

camels

Who knew camels liked hats so much?