Archive for the ‘Wig Owners’ Category

Das Racist Is From The Future…

Saturday, September 25th, 2010

dr sit dawn man

Being an Internets Celebrity isn’t always all low-brow glamorous like eating an extra value crispy chicken meal at Wendy’s. Like all the best low paying professions there’s some work involved in doing this. It’s good for me that I like this job.

Das Racist invited me to hang out with them at the release party for their latest mixtape project ‘Sit Down, Man’. You might imagine that the tripster darlings of the internets know how to throw a party. Well I’ll confirm the yes. It starts with letting anyone who arrives early get their drink on gratis of the producing party promoting Cerberus – Greedhead, Mad Decent and Mishka.

A few bands that DR fux with opened the stage up for them. Tecla Esposito, who is also part of the retro electro galactic R & B band Gordon Voidwell was the first act. I think I’m in love with her. Keepaway brought an Amish drum and bass rockstar vibe to the party. Next was Maluca Mala who made me think she could be the daughter of Sheila E. and Prince, if they had ever mated.

Das Racist was due to perform next but my glass slipper was about to become a wooden clog because I had to scramble back to Brooklyn to record the Combat Jack Radio Show. I missed the DR set but these folks caught it and liked it.

Stereogum

MetroMix NY

Village Voice

Here’s a link to the mixtape. Definitely give them a spin

Das Racist ‘Sit Down, Man’

HO SIT DOWN!

Saturday, September 25th, 2010

eddie long

Bishop Long showing off his new iPhone [ll]

Back in the days in the Black church, and I’m assuming we all know what the Black church is… The Black church is the base support of brands like Oprah Winfrey and Tyler Perry. Back in the days in the Black church you knew where all the gheys were. The choir, natch. And it was accepted. And the music was good. The pastor/reverend/deacon/preacher was still a philanderer, but it was that classic vanilla boy on girl shit. Okay maybe the reverend might add another chick to the mix and a few lines of cocaine, but this was how it was down.

Meanwhile, the white church was a steady stream of fags and altar boys who got their asscheeks spread for God’s glory. The Catholic church was at one time the single greatest landowner throughout New York City but they have had to sell off acres of their land holdings to satisfy clandestine lawsuits of sexual impropriety. Integration has finally come to the church. I think Martin Luther King Jr. foresaw this in a dream after a ménage à trois in Memphis.

I’m never surprised when I learn that the Creflo Dollar types of ministries implode. The abuse can usually be traced to the minister’s name. You have to know that a preacher with the last name Dollar is gonna be a tax cheat. Just like some dude named Long is gonna make people get familiar with his johnson [ll]. Oh, and he’s based in Atlanta? Definite homo status. Nullus.

These preachers have congregations that outnumber concert attendance. Are they that nice with the word?! Or are people so confused and beat down that they just want to grab a hold of something [ll] and they flock to the biggest spectacle with the largest crowds? I’m sorry for the people that believe in these preachers as if they were supposed to be something other than a human with the normal selfish desires [ll]. Eddie Long is going to be a lot poorer for those desires. Maybe he can hit up his boy Creflo for a dollar?

SEPARATED @ BIRTH: Papa Don’t Preach…

Saturday, September 25th, 2010

bishop long

Read here as CNN’s Roland Martin uses his pulpit to tell Bishop Eddie Long to sit the fux down.

The Real Michael Jordan of the Rap Recordings…

Monday, September 20th, 2010

mj 45

*MJ rocking the 45 for his comeback, kanYe West has a basement full of 45’s that he takes samples from*

kanYe West is the real Michael Jordan of the rap recordings. People like to give Jay-Z that acknowledgment since he was the first person to say that in rhyme verse but just because you rap about it doesn’t necessarily mean its true.
*cue Rick Ross*

Just like Michael Jordan, kanYe West has been through trials and tribulations to find himself in the pop culture position he now claims. No all time great player was berated as much as Michael Jordan was for his lack of long range jump shot, non-existent defense skills or his non-desire for team play. Jordan rose up above his detractors by showing he had all of those talents.

mj kanye

kanYe’s ‘College Dropout’ was like Jordan’s first title win over the Lakers. The Bulls had to overcome their nemesis, the Pistons before they could defeat the aging Lakers in what was Michael Jordan’s official coronation. This victory was the first of three straight championship titles for the Chicago player. I’m talking about ‘The College Dropout’, ‘Late Registration’ and ‘Graduation’.

But then tragedy struck a star-crossed career. The person who was the closest and most confided in was taken from the emerging superstar. At that moment they had to question everything they had achieved in the game. So they switched their pitch up, literally. KanYe West dropped the widely panned yet slept on classic ‘808s’ while Michael Jordan took a swing at playing major league baseball.

mj kanye

The critics of MJ said he couldn’t hit the off speed pitches well enough while kanYe took a knock for not hitting the right notes. In both cases these efforts were personal tributes to the people in their lives they loved the most (James Jordan, Donda West) as well as purges of their old selves whether the public realized this or not. The comebacks that these ballers made from their darkest days have been nothing less than mindboggling. kanYe is back to dominating rap records from the producer’s standpoint while often supplying verses that merc’k other artists on they own shit.

Nike produced sneakers for both MJ and kanYe that reached astronomical levels of hype. The Yeezy even incorporated elements of early Air Jordans. MJ was an icon of achievement for any kid who grew up in Chicago during the late 80s and 90s. kanYe West has gone deeper into pop culture than even Michael Jordan could have hoped to. The most glaring difference I can note is that Michael Jordan would never represent anyone other than himself in the public eye like KanYe has done during the Katrina telethon or the 2009 VMAs.

But to further cement my claim that ‘Ye Tudda is the real Michael Jordan of the rap recordings I submit this picture.

Michael Jordan hangs out with Charles Oakley and his technicolor pimpsuits while KanYe West has his crew of fishsticks

fishsticks

Balling Out With The NBA’s Elite…

Friday, June 25th, 2010

nba elite

The big homie DUK-KI from MajorDC hollered at me last week to ask if I would be in town to fux with the launch of EA Sports franchise NBA video game Elite 11. There would be a few players to chop it up with as well as musicians and assorted industry folks. I was like “Hells Chea!” Even tho’ I’m not a gamer I realize that gamers and myself are both cut from the same cloth.

That material would be called fanboyhood. Google it.

TERRENCE is the major hoopshead and he had the backstory on all the players in the party. We shot some footage with me acting as Dontrevius Wenters since it was NBA Draft Week and John Wall and DeMarcus Cousins were in the building. The real athletes had a hard time believing that Dontrevius expected to be drafted as well. Dontrevius told them that age and weight were only numbers and since he was high in both of those categories shouldn’t his points per game follow suit?

Sometimes players just don’t understand.

A big shout out goes to rapper J.Cole who said the word ‘Internets’ like he meant it. Sean Price is the ONLY other rapper that recognizes that we are all interconnected networks. Somebody send me some J.Cole music like yesterday so I can get familiar with this young gunner. When I told Brandon Jennings that J.Cole might join the league as well he rolled his eyes. Why do athletes want to be musicians, but they won’t allow us to be great in other shit like their sport?

All the players were pretty nice with their stick game too [ll]. I’m talking about the game controls for Electronic Arts latest version of NBA Live they have renamed NBA Elite. I hope the Madden Curse doesn’t follow these players as well since my homie KEVIN DURANT is the dude on the cover of NBA Elite ’11. Me and K.D. kicked it for a few and I told him about my predictions that he would be the greatest player of all time.

I also gave him props for arranging his signature sneaker to have such a reasonable pricepoint. I made him laugh when I told him that he pwned Amare Stoudemire so much this season that Amare started wearing K.D.’s signature shoe in the playoffs instead of his own. Good times. That video will surface sooner or later. In the meantime and in between time take a peek at the LeBron and Durant characters movements on NBA Elite ’11.

The ball handling [ll] and shooting is so ridiculous and effortless from the controllers. Whatever happened to the joystick and orange button of the Atari 2600? I kicked it with some of the developers and programmers of the new game and they aren’t finished getting the bugs out yet either. That’s why the event was also filled with gamers who could give their feedback directly to the techs. I was amazed at how much development Electronic Arts puts into their games. EA might be in the business of making videogames, but these dudes aren’t playing around.

EA Sports… It’s definitely in the game.