Archive for the ‘The MGMT’ Category

A Letter From The Management…

Friday, February 13th, 2009

moutain dew voltage

So I finally made it to Atlanta. Shit is colder down here than I expected. I almost could have brought a heavier coat with me. It is good to be back in the basement again. I’m having Moutain Dew soda for berakfast and Lucky Charms cereal for dinner. The next thing for me to do is DL some pr0n. Just like old times.

If I haven’t taken out some time to thank all the folks that gave me a boost through the prA’li movement donations please forgive my reticence. My mom surely thanks you folks from her heart.

It was some sweet rejoice to see the old Earth. What if I told you that I really, really miss her? I miss my dad too. What if I told you that my dad was a cardinal? Peep this shit out…

When my mom and dad left Queens they moved to the town of Baldwin in Nassau county. My dad still made the trips back to Queens where he administered the Corona Little League. My dad fuxed with all sports, but his heart was clearly with baseball. The little league allowed him to continue his mission to teach the youth a better way. Too bad his own sons were such knuckleheads.

At the house in Baldwin my dad kept a garden and a few trees that enjoyed pruning. He told me that what sold him on the house was the birdbath in the backyard. He had all kinds of birds visit him through the summer. I lie to you not that he would get visits from a blue jay and a cardinal.

They would literally come onto the deck where he would be sitting reading the newspaper. I told him that they knew he was a baseball fan. My dad loved the cardinal. It nested in a tree alongside the deck in the backyard. I think he had some communication link with that bird.

A few months back a cardinal settled on the tree branch outside of my apartment terrace. I think that was my dad telling me to check up on his brother. My uncle lived with my dad and my mom up until my dad’s passing. When my kid brother came back into the house and dominated my mom it caused my uncle to leave. He couldn’t stand the noise of my brother. Neither could I.

This period is where I became estranged from my family. I don’t really understand why my mother coddled my brother even though it was obvious to everyone else that he is not a good person. I say this not to be mean or jealous. My brother harbors a demon spirit inside of him. Some Damien shit. When my father passed away all my brother has done is put my mother deeper into debt. She accepts this fate too.

Anyhoo, the point I was making is when that cardinal appeared outside of my apartment I knew that the god was getting at me to push me to be more responsible and more connected than I normally am. I have a shitload of MySpace, Facebook and Twitter friends but very few intimate friends. I am a loner at heart. My parents know this.

They are also surprised that all of you have put up with me for this long. I’m a lucky man to have all of you folks loving me. My mom and dad thank y’all too.

mom & dad

EVERYBODY COUNTS…

Tuesday, January 27th, 2009

hope 2009

The Dept. of Homeless Services HOPE 2009 project went down last night. HOPE stands for the Homeless Outreach Population Estimate. The purpose being to create a point in time estimate of the homeless people living in the city so that services can be given to the areas that need it the most.

I participate in the survey every year because I consider myself on the cusp of homelessness. Bigger than living paycheck to paycheck is also the sense that if I needed shelter I would have no place to turn. That isn’t actually the case, but I like to act like it is so that I stay on my grizzly and I remain thankful for all the things that I do have. Can you even fathom someone living outdoors during this time of year? These are nights not fit for man nor beast.

I took on the role of team leader with my surveying group since I was the only one with the gift of gab. You have to know how to approach people in the ‘hood at 2am. As Chris Rock has previously identified most folks on the streets at 2am are up to no good. You don’t want to jump out on folks on some funny style shit because you will get nathan. Maybe some crazy eyes, but mostly nathan.

In the middle of our survey they base office sent a press team out to watch us complete the survey. They were like a bunch of folks who moved to New York City from Iowa. Even the Black dude from NY1 News who grew up in St. Albans seemed to be a bit of a greenhorn. No disrespect to the brother’s naivete because that is what you get when you leave the ‘hood to go to college and better yourself.

At least the brother was kind enough to put me in his segment that they broadcast. If you live or work in New York City you might should want to turn on your TV to channel 1. I get my Obama stump speech on where I tell people why they should feel a sense of obligation to volunteer for endeavors like HOPE 2009, or anything that is community related. Finally we have overcome Black people. The news is now featuring African Americans that have some intelligent shit to say.

NY1 News

Kill ‘Yo Radio!

Sunday, January 18th, 2009

broken radio

The fallout from the tumbling U.S. economy continues. Broadcast radio mega monolith Clear Channel is restructuring their corporation from the top to the bottom. As is typical for most corporations mostly the bottom is being excised. We can only hope that Funkmaster Flex is forced to perform hari kari, we can only hope.

I’m one of those dudes that does the Arab Money dance when mainstream media starts to crumble. I feel like this is the perfect time for people like myself who are mainstream media outsiders because of how we look or how we speak to become alternative media providers. The ideas that are expressed here at DP Dot Com don’t exist in mainstream outlets for several reasons and that is mainly because of who controls those outlets.

At the end of the day it’s all bout the advertising dollars and if I was a company with some ad bucks to spend I would rather put my products and services in front of the higher rated consumers. These consumers are flocking to the internets now. Mostly because the content on the internets is on demand and always active. The corporations that have jumped to the internets early are the ones that will be winning big in the new year within our new economy.

I received an offer from a friend to start working on an internets based radio program. I’m not sure if thy will ultimately choose me to work on this program, but if they do you should definitely kill your radio in 2009.

INTERNETS!!!!!

ObamaGrrl’s Sexy White House Calendar…

Wednesday, January 14th, 2009

obamagirl

Let’s hear it for the girls who take on all comers.

And we did say comers.

For the next twelve months the ObamaGrrl will pleasure herself to these prospective White House cabinet hotties.

obamagirl

January = STEVEN CHU – Energy Secretary
Celebrate the first month and the Chinese new year with this super big brain physicist that will figure out a way for us to power our hybrid cars with the assfarts from all the arugula that we will now be mandated to consume.

obamagirl

February = ERIC HOLDER – Attorney General
It’s Black History Month and time to rock out with the other sort-of Black dude in the White House. Back in the days of ‘Roots’ these dudes weren’t Black enough, but the pendulum has swung and now they are just Black enough. Light skin wins in the ’09.

obamagirl

March = MICHELLE OBAMA – First Lady
Ladies first in March for Woman’s History Month and no lady comes before the First Lady. No, we meant that literally. ObamaGrrl sit your ho ass down. First Lady goes in on the presidential package first. Who do you think this president is? BILL CLINTON?!?

obamagirl

April = ARNE DUNCAN – Education Secretary
The education secretary is a former pro cager from Australia who used to play pickup games with the president. I just hope the plan for reforming the education system isn’t to send the increasing numbers of high school dropouts to basketball camp. That would certainly be March Madness.

obamagirl

May = TIMOTHY GEITHNER – Treasury Secretary
President of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York and a dude with a Swiss sounding surname which tells me that he knows where all the fucking money is that BERNARD MADOFF stole.

obamagirl

June = SANJAY GUPTA – Surgeon General
I have got to get myself a television. Someone told me that he is the doctor from CNNews, and here it is I thought he was the doctor from that program ‘Heroes’.

obamagirl

July = PETER ORSZAG – Management and Budget Secretary
I’m stunned and saddened. I didn’t think it was possible that anyone could wear a wig which was worse than ROD BLAGOJEVICH’s.

obamagirl

August = SHAUN DONOVAN – Housing secretary
Converting all of America’s former factories into luxury loft apartments is a daunting task.

obamagirl

September = JON FAVREAU – Head speach writer (read: weed carrier)
The Obama administration will be the first one filled with real surfers and stoners.

obamagirl

October = RAHM EMMANUEL – Chief of Staff
Is there any title in politricks more pauseworthy than Chief of Staff [ll]? I think RAHM EMMANUEL is so crafty that he will make KARL ROVE appear to be shiftless and lazy. You see how he regulated shit in the BLAGOJEVICH mess? RAHM is not to be effed with. Word to the mossad.

obamagirl

November = BARACK OBAMA – President
Give thanks in November to B.O. Not body odor, but BARACK OBAMA. He is the reason for the season. Although because he is halfrican I’m sure he has some kind of crazy B.O.

obamagirl

December = ObamaGrrl – Presidential video vixen
This is what I am asking Santa for on Christmas.

Twitter HaXorz Go Biggtime…

Tuesday, January 6th, 2009

twitter monkey

Twitter is shitting on the blogosphere. I can create a drop(post) using 140 characters including spaces and punctuation. That’s already less characters than I’ve used in this post so far. It is effectually microblogging and it is rumbling across the internets like a stampede of wild rhinoceratti. Twit with me @ DP2FTV.

I love that shit, but it was already showing signs of dying by virtue of popularity. The fact that people are Twitting while working, driving, eating, and even while sleeping has added to the streams of inanity insanity. Who the fuck cares what you just ate for lunch? Oh, avocado salad? That sounds tasty. Man, fuck that shit! And now some haXorz have infiltrated the Twitter database and taken over the accounts of celebrities.

Here are some of the Twitter entries that the haXorz posted…

FOX FOX News
“Breaking: Bill O Riley is gay”

cnn sanchez CNN’s RICK SANCHEZ
“i am high on crack right now might not be coming into work today”

britney BRITNEY SPEARS
“Hi Yall! Brit Brit here, just wanted to update you on the size of my vag”

I need some haXorz to take over this site, but I need them to post content about sneakers, comic books and the best places to leave deuces in NYC. Then I can finally get some sleep at night.