Archive for the ‘The MGMT’ Category

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100 Miles And Running…

Monday, November 5th, 2007

big kenya

Yesterday’s marathon reminds me of what my dad called life. I was so busy trying to grow up in a hurry because I thought that life was a sprint. My dad told me that life was a marathon and that pacing myself would help me complete the race. It took me so long to understand what he was trying to tell me. I almost disqualified my damn self like my name was RYAN SHAY. I’m still standing though and thankful for all my dad’s lessons.

Life is long party people, but if you work hard and stay true to your principles you will be able to see the blessings of your labor. My dad passed away knowing that I had finally found a real woman to love me and not some high-heeled hoochie hussy (which incidentally are my favorite type of broads). He saw me buy my first home and he saw my professional accomplishments. In that regard he knew his work here was done. I still wish he were right here though because I still need his counseling some times and especially his tough love.

big kenya

iNTERNETS CELEBRITIES is going to be that crack that you need in your life. If I have to start producing these videos by myself I will, but I don’t, so I won’t. My point is that I am so serious about taking the i.C. movement up to the next level in terms of creative content.

The idea has crossed my mind that you folks would respond to us if we promised you new content on a certain day by a certain time. That will be our next goal in order to make that step upwards. Steady content featuring RAFI and I going in on whatever the fuck we want.

big kenya

DP Dot Com has to finish off 2007 stronger than ever. If the fourth quarter is the entertainment industry’s ‘put up or shut up’ time then I have to show you folks who the JOE MONTANA of this blog shit is. Not so much JOE when he joined the Chiefs, although there was that Monday night game in 1994 at Mile High Stadium. Hey, you get the point.

Randomosity: Remember TODD BLACKLEDGE?

There is a brand new DP Dot Com mixtape going out this week so keep an eye out for a package in your snail mail post office box.

Shouts to NERDITRY for the birthday gift. Shouts to big brother ERNIE PANNICIOLI for sending me his O.G. copy of the VANESSA WILLIAMS Penthouse premiere. Shouts to Kenya for being so effin’ hardbody every year.

Shouts to you for running with us.

big kenya

Posted in Black Bullshit, Fashion Faux Pas, Ghetto Celebs, iNternets Celebrities, No Boutros Boutros... Ghali, T.O.N.Y., The MGMT | 14 Comments »

ALTERED STATES…

Saturday, November 3rd, 2007

crills

What the hell is that sweet-like burning smell?!?!

Shout out to OhWord who told me to go in hard this weekend like as if I was trying to get into the ICU at Bellevue. Friday, Saturday and Sunday night are all jam packed like Superhead’s asscrack during the NBA All-Star break.

Shouts to Hip-Hop Karaoke NYC for setting Friday night off right with a Jack and Coke + some really good Hip-Hop music.

Freedom is still killing that grown man steez on Friday nights. They are at the Canal Room now and it has the feel of the old StarFoods jumpoff minus the shitbag security guards. If you are 30+ and you don’t live in your momma’s basement like me then I suggest you give Freedom Fridays your time. DJ Herbert is the most official chicken mcnugget-head deejay evar.

Biggest shout to 40 Diesel and the whole Mighty Healthy crew who had the bottle service and the carrot cake popping off at that nigga D’s birthday party. What is up with the Mighty Healthy x iNternets Celebrities t-shirts? What, do I need GhostFace to politic for these!?!

Yo, it’s 6 a.m. so I am about to look at some pr0n and then go to sleep so I can keep this shit rocking. I will get with y’all on the flapjack of this schmizzle (no Keyshia Cole nekkid tatones). Whatever that means.

Caption your own T.I. madness.

t.i.

Posted in T.O.N.Y., The MGMT | 2 Comments »

BLOODSUCKERS OF THE UNIVERSE…

Sunday, October 21st, 2007

t.i.

Most of you have seen the name T.I. used to reference the cabal of executives that manage the multinational corporations that govern this planet. Because the T.I.’s are mega wealthy and mega powerful I think we have always assumed that they were whites. The truth is that the T.I.s are actually extraterrestrials that came to Earth centuries ago.

Sure they are wicked evil, but without them we wouldn’t have good shit like television or breakfast cereal. So what if we have to give them our blood? That’s only a small price to pay for t.v. ‘Purple Rain’ was on Vh-1 this past weekend. That’s Appolonia bitches. Thank you T.I.’s for all of your retro video goodness. Which brings me to the purpose of this drop. I’ve decided to let one of the T.I.’s take over the guest-editing duties of this site while I focus on my day job.

I think this will be an excellent opportunity for you folks to get some insight on what motivates the T.I.’s to do what they do. Whether it’s putting the world on the brink of war, or using a Black mammy Aunt Jemima figure to further the agenda of passive aggressive racism the T.I.’s have a plan. And whether we like it or not we will be used and exploited. But maybe there’s a softer side to the T.I.’s that we haven’t seen. I’m willing to find out if there is more to their Machevellian machinations. Who knows, maybe after seeing things from the T.I.’s perspective I might switch all my mutual fund accounts into the prison industrial complex sector. Lord knows that biotech sector hasn’t done shit for me.

The real reason I am turning this site over to the T.I.’s is because I need the money. It’s not even reasonable to think I can pay my bills if I keep staying up 5 a.m. every night reading blogs and searching news feeds in order to create content for this site and the seven daily readers that leave comments. I’d rather let the T.I.’s program this blog than have their middlemen from Google place ads in the sidebar. Let’s get our supremacy and capitalism straight with no chaser. Let’s see who among you can handle the truth…

t.i. Hello Dallas Penn Dot Com homeboys and homeboyettes. My name is ToRBuLaX and I am the T.I. in charge of the entertainment sector of the planet Earth. I get to decide who will be the CEO of Viacom, Universal or Disney Corp.

Sure, I choose someone who I have groomed to help me continue the agenda that makes Blacks the wretched of the Earth and keeps women in a subservient role to men, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t be friends during the weekend.

I mean, c’mon, seriously, what more do you want from me? I gave you the ‘Cosby Show’ AND ‘A Different World’ back in the eighties. So now why is it that the ‘In Living Color’ and ‘Girlfriends’ reruns average more daily viewers? I can’t even remember the last time any Black people tuned it to ‘Like It Is’.

I hope we can have some fun together while I am here, and maybe, just maybe I will consider giving your fiend DALLAS a larger forum to express himself. Just don’t try to fuck up my income streams and I won’t produce another ‘Birth Of A Nation’.

*crosses fingers behind back*

 t.i.

Posted in Black Bullshit, The Guest Room, The MGMT, Wig Owners | 12 Comments »

DP Dot Com Football Pool Wk. 6 Recap…

Tuesday, October 16th, 2007

favre

I’m feeling BRETT FAVRE this season [ll]. Actually, RYAN GRANT, a running back with the Pack is my cousin so if Green Bay does it big this season I will be happier than a rasta with a bag of weed and a plate of oxtails.

The dominant teams are once again New England and Indianapolis, but don’t sleep on Pittsburgh. They are quietly a monster squad on the low [ll]. I got love for the Steelers too ever since I hung out with CARSON DALY, JEROME BETTIS, JAMES FARRIOR and BEN ROETHLISBERGER a tthis local pub in Clinton Hill called Sputnik. Let’s talk about this websites’ football pool before I have to use another [ll].

Here’s how ill the football pool can get at DP Dot Com… The current overall leader hasn’t even been the weekly winner yet. Furiou$tylez Is Your Daddy is averaging 7.9 correct picks a week and this is enough to be in front of the pack. DubbleUp and Belize are hot on his heels though. I’m 17 points off the lead as is most of the rest of the pool. Starting this weekend shit gets really real sonn.

A couple of people have discussed the use of the spread in the DP Dot Com Football Pool. The spread keeps shit funky. There is a no bitching rule in football which means that if you can’t figure out how the spread works you won’t be winning a free pair of sneakers from the DP Dot Com checking account. Don’t be a bitch, figure out how the spread works.

Here’s the leader board for the DP Dot Com Football Pool…

Furiou$tylez Is Your Daddy 47
DubbleUP 46
Belizean PumPum Killa 45
alex2.0_still_hanging_in_there 43
Zilla Rocca 42
BurDenDer 40
Desert Sole 39
H8torade’s Hoes 39
Are1 39
Godson Across the Belly…iFux 39
Patriot Games 39
AmadeoSweetPicks 38
20/20Proof 38
Cashus Clay 38

Posted in Ghetto Celebs, No Boutros Boutros... Ghali, Sneaker Fiends United, Sports are Gay, The MGMT | 10 Comments »

[ll] = Pause For The Cause…

Sunday, October 14th, 2007

pause

A couple of months ago El Gringo Colombiano mentioned a breakthrough innovation he developed for internets communication. He noticed and understood the need for the refrain “No Homo” after certain phrases were typed in a drop or it’s subsequent discussion thread. What EGC then created was a simple symbol for expressing this sentiment. At first I was skeptical of the practical use of this graphic description. I need to give EGC his props though for submitting a compelling and well thought out argument for the implementation of [ll].

First, here are some of the phrases that one might use after saying something that might be misconstrued as gay…

  • No homo
  • No brokeback
  • No Sheryl Swoopes
  • No Greg Louganis
  • No Luther Vandross’ curl activator kit
  • Nullus
  • Pause

    • Of all the phrases listed above nullus had risen to prominence solely from the ubiquity of the website ByronCrawford Dot Com. While nullus is an effective word for its use of maybe Latin and its brevity, the word pause has recently replaced it on the internets and in current colloquial usage. The advantage of pause over nullus is that when uttering the word pause we use only one syllable. This conserves breathing which in turn reduces our carbon dioxide emissions which ultimately saves the planet from the greenhouse effect. EGC is more deserving of a Nobel prize than the long-winded, greenhouse gas inducing AL GORE. Lucky for GORE he created the internets.

    The second point of this innovation is the benefit to internets users for applying the [ll] glyph to your statements is that [ll] requires even less strokes than the word pause [ll]. Keystrokes, as it were. [ll] so closely resembles the pause tab on many media players it should be heretofore universally accepted as the standard for expressing one’s non homo-osity. The use of [ll] allows writers and commenters to express their support for same sex civil unions [ll], the all gay Olympic games [ll], and the total enjoyment of KanYe West’s latest album ‘Graduation’ [ll].

    It’s forward thinking like this that has made the internets the bastion for new millenium neo-intellectualism and it’s my dream that man can one day return to his artistic zenith where images and glyphs spoke volumes about his aspirations and desires. Language is too divisive and cumbersome. Emoticons and acronyms are the cave paintings of the future.

    palehorse

    Posted in Black Bullshit, Ghetto Celebs, iNternets Celebrities, Social Upheaval, The MGMT | 13 Comments »

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