I want to try something new here on the site for all my peoples that love their sneaker game as much as I love mine. Just send me pictures of your favorite kicks and I will post them here at the site along with your Facebook, MySpace or URL links so that other sneaker fiends can connect with you. Let’s pop off a social network built around S.F.U.
I know that these networks exist already but here is one that doesn’t make you feel like you are being looked down upon if you don’t have the latest tin-foil release of Jordans or whatever. Come as you are. Send me a pic.
Bless the heart of my new young intern RM. He sent me an e-mail mentioning all the things that he wished we should turn into drops here at this site. When I asked him to write out one and do some research on it he never e-mailed me back. Dude quit his internship only three e-mails into the gig. I suppose that is reflective of the work ethic for today’s generation.
Well since we are left holding the bag that our weedcarrier has placed down I see no point in just letting a good idea go up in smoke. RM wanted to see a drop on all the different groups that PIDDY, the King of all Jigs, has sent to ruin. PIDDY is a prolific Wig Owner whose supreme talent appears to be bankrupting young artists. Not a singer, songwriter or musician, PIDDY has gone on to create several multi-platinum albums by over-exploiting the actual talent that he comes in contact with. Think about CLIVE DAVIS, QUINCY JONES, HUSTLE SIMMONS, BENITO MUSSOLINI and the Devil all coming together as a record industry executive and you still wouldn’t be able to beat PIDDY. He’s just that damn good.
PIDDY doesn’t create Wig Owners either. If you come into his camp as a brusher then you will remain one forever. And if you leave, don’t even think about taking a single wig with you. The Lox had to go on a New York City radio station and beg the public to help them in their demand to have PIDDY give them a wig. PIDDY’s got so many wigs that he gave one to the Lox, but that shit was ratty and nappy. JADAKISS and STYLES P have been trying to straighten that shit out for over a year. PIDDY is prah’lee somewhere laughing out loud while he styles on some more fools. Let’s face it, the King of all Jigs will own your wig until the last hair has ben brushed off that bitch. He won’t stop either, but that’s mostly because he can’t stop. Are you ready to walk with me down Wig Brusher memory lane?
TOTAL
Everybody was always calling Total a bunch of lesbians, which they weren’t, but they were instructed to play up the girl on girl friendly image because at the end of the day Black lesbians buy music.
SOUL 4 REAL
These were four brothers that PIDDY “discovered” and brought to Heavy D so that he could have his wig brushed as well. Their hit song ‘Candy Rain’ is still my shit. Everytime I hear it PIDDY gets richer and a puppy gets slaughtered.
FUZZBUBBLE
Who knew that PIDDY had a rock band? These dudes were like that 80’s group Mr. Big except they sucked worse and they never had a hit song.
THE LOX
PIDDY was so cheap that he charged the Lox $20 for every copy of their CD that they requested from him. The Lox ended up going to the bootlegger to buy their CD’s in order to give to their friends.
Kiss those Grammy’s goodbye when you write rhymes for PIDDY. You aren’t going to be getting credits on the album.
B5
B5 was PIDDY’s version of the Jackson Five and they even featured the underage brother that becomes a nymphomaniac.
112
This was PIDDY’s take on the young adult contemporary R & B theme. He left these dudes so broke down and destitute that one of them had to take up robbing peoples homes via breaking and entering.
DANITY KANE
What the hell is a Danity Kane?!? Looks like PIDDY is making his way into the bedrooms of little suburban girls.
DA BAND
This was a train wreck even before they got on the tracks (puns always intended). For all of your information, Junior’s cheesecake ain’t even that good.
NEW EDITION
How fucked up must New Edition’s bankroll be if they all have to come to Bad Boy and brush wigs for PIDDY? These niggas catalog alone defines R & B from the 1980’s.
At the end of the day all of the wigs that these bands were brushing remained in PIDDY’s possession. The brushers themselves learned the hard lessons of life in the recording industry. PIDDY continues to search the Earth for more talented, young wig brushers to keep his empire well coiffed.
You haven’t seen this feature in awhile because BeYONCE is an absolute beast on her competition. She whupped ASHANTI so badly, poor little hairy ba’ygirl can’t even get another album done. DAYYYUM!
She also took out MARIAH CAREY and JESSICA SIMPSON. BeYONCE even beat out my brownskin baby momma OPRAH WINFREY. But this Factor should be a good challenge.
RIHANNA is being groomed much the same way that BeYONCE was. Her handlers have been careful not to have her speak too much. They have conscripted the legendary rapper Jay-Z to be seen as a mentor to her causing a somewhat scandal in the press regarding his relationship with BeYONCE. I have even seen RIHANNA dressed up just like BeYONCE too. Do you think that RIHANNA could ever replace Lady B? Enough talk bitches, let’s factor…
Here’s a quick rewind of the format for your scoring information…
In parentheses are the factors that give someone a high or low score depending on how we at the website rate them. If a subject does exceptionally well with a factor then they will receive the full allotment of points (100).
1) Can you say her name – (the more‘Black’ sounding the name of the subject, the higher the number of points)
2) Can she pay her bills – (cash rules everything around us – does the subject have any?)
3) Is she a survivor – (has the subject had to endure scandal/controversy?)
4) Baby boy – (has the subject ever had an abortion?)
5) Cater to you – (would you want a backrub from the subject?)
6) Dangerously in love – (is the subject in a relationship that can’t last?)
7) Bootylicious – (this should speak for itself)
RIHANNA is actually more than ten years younger than BeYONCE in real life, but I wonder if her youth will serve her in The Factor. Here we go…
1) Can you say her name – 100 points (RIHANNA is just as jig-fabulous as BeYONCE)
2) Can she pay her bills – 100 points (three platinum albums in less than three years)
3) Is she a survivor – 100 points (from digitally voiced dancehall queen to synthesized pop princess)
4) Baby boy – 100 points* (she is 19yrs old from from Guyana and Barbados = minimum one abortion)
5) Cater to you – 100 points (did I say um-ba-rella already?)
6) Dangerously in love – 100 points (late night visits from the prez of Def Jam – you bet!)
7) Bootylicious – 100 points (do you know what 19yr old poon smells like? Legal seafood.)
RIHANNA’s BeYONCE Factor score = 700 points!
Holy crap! This can’t be possible. No one can equal in womanhood to BeYONCE KNOWLES. This has to be a mistake…
Update: The good folks over at Bossip Dot Com have helped us sort out this mess. The queen of all women BeYONCE KNOWLES would never let her angelic wings appear. RIHANNA, not so much. We just deducted 50 points from RIHANNA’s Factor score.
BLU CHEEZ was tooling around the web looking for some pics of various celebs to put into the photo albums section of this site when he brought something interesting to my attention. BeYONCE KNOWLES is photographed with her ass to the camera. A lot. I don’t think there is any singer slash actress that is photographed in that position as much as BeYONCE is. Certainly not JESSICA SIMPSON who is somewhat comparable to BeYONCE in resume only. Even when she was trying to pick that crappy ‘Dukes of hazzard’ movie out of the toilet she wasn’t giving backshots away.
The only reason I’m complaining about being forced to stare at BeYONCE’s azz so much is because she has a dynamite rack also. Can I get some cleave shots once in a while? Is that too much to ask? Every red carpet event has BeYONCE turning around and poking out her seat, but I can never find any pics of her facing the camera and grabbing her ankles. I’m sure theres a race card for me to pull out in this mess but I will let y’all draw your own inferences.
I read this article the other day where BeYONCE says that she has to perform as a character named SASHA in order to seperate her true self from her agressively sexy performances. So in effect she plays a character that she’s not comfortable with because she knows the character is baseless and poorly developed. How many other people have careers where they have to seperate themselves from their job because the thought of the work they do makes them cringe? Other than say, hookers.
I have to say that GLAMAZON was talking to me about this subject a while back. Pop music singers are pushing street walkers and ho’s out of business because they are making sex too accessible and too cheap. They’re also making it too young for their immature adolescent consumers to understand it’s ramifications.
This isn’t to say that pop music singers weren’t always glorified prostitutes, both men and women. A bunch of skanky street hustlers with some glitter shirts on. Shaking their money makers for old white men who incidentally preferred men to women. How you doin’ DIDDY?!? The bottom line was that they were all grown azz people and even though it was still pop music their image did not appeal to a younger audience. There were no little girls dressing like the Mary Jane Girls
or better yet, VANITY 6.
These were grown azz ho’s and everybody knew that. When they sung about giving oral sex or sticking a finger up a man’s asshole you knew they knew what they were talking about. When I hear sixteen year old CASSIE sing about giving head I have to ask myself, “Self, does this pretty face really know how to lick the underside of my balls as well as tongue kiss my taint?”
Or is she just another pretty face all dolled up in grown woman’s make up? Now don’t get me wrong, I am all for young woman expressing their natural biological desires, if they feel like they have to. ROBERT SYLVESTER KELLY picks up my slack when the age meter dips below 17. It’s just that I am tired of listening to these young girls singing songs about how many cocks they can hold when they haven’t even been peed on yet.
