Archive for the ‘Social Upheaval’ Category

DEJA VU FOR G DUBBZ

Monday, September 4th, 2006

g dubbz

Wikipedia is the greatest online resource next to this website and it tells me that ‘deja vu’ is a French word for ‘already seen’. Paramnesia is the scientific term for the phenomena. People that experience deja vu have said that an eery or strange feeling accompanies the notion.

tiger

G DUBBZ and his henchmen have been giving tons a deja vu rhetoric lately to keep the fear in people’s hearts. The Administration has lately taken to labeling any critic of their policies a Nazi sympathizer or Communist. This tactic was a lot stronger during the Darth Sidious BUSH Sr. administration because there were still people alive that remembered the Nazis and the Communists. I think its cheap and disingenuous to invoke the bad guys from previous generations when we have so many bad guys that are current and contemporary who need some shine. Why can’t we let some young new bad guys come up in the game?

That’s why DP dot com should be any future politicos one-stop shopping for consulting. We can help you keep your propaganda fresh and relevant. Speaking to Generation iPod+ is our specialty. Get at me BARACK.

Let’s say hello to some of the new bad guys…

baron karza

BARON KARZA
I can tell that your scared already. G DUBBZ should equate Iran’s leader with the bad guy from the Micronauts universe. Dude has a crazy arab sounding name too. Even if you aren’t familiar with the Micronauts you have to admit that BARON KARZA looks bad. Dude is dressed in all black and he can transform from a kick azz humanoid to a kick more azz centaur. Scary.

baron karza

UNCLE RUCKUS
UNCLE RUCKUS is important as a domestic bad guy because he can help us continue the demonization of the undereducated, disenfranchised Black male. Do you remember all those folks that committed crimes against their families and then blamed it on Black guys? Memo to white that kills it’s own family: From now on you can blame your indiscretion on UNCLE RUCKUS.

“President BUSH wanted to get off his plane and help those tar people in New Orleans, but he was fearful that UNCLE RUCKUS would try to get him” -TONY SNOW, White House Press Secretary

uncle ruckus

ninja

NINJAS
Try to imagine for a moment the fear inside Middle America if G DUBBZ said that North Korean leader KIM JONG IL was planning on sending ninjas into America. Ninjas are total badasses that can sneak around at night, fly and make themselves disappear. I don’t know about y’all, but I see the polls shooting upwards in double digit numbers. Not only are ninjas ruthless killers, but they are hell’a fastidious. Do you see how neat this ninja keeps his CD collection? I’d be terrified of anyone who has a MICHAEL BOLTON slow jams collection in chronological order.

ninja

kaiser KAISER SOZE
As always, the best bad guys are the ones that we can’t see. Forget the fact that they don’t even exist, but if you can convince the people that terror waits for them around the corner in the post office or the supermarket then you can make anybody and everybody a terrorist. Scare the people into becoming shut-ins with only their televisions to provide them with reality.

The operative word here is terror and it has to be used like a bludgeon. The Nazis and the Commies had their run, but now its time for some new villains to take center stage. Mr. President, your photo op awaits you.

DALLASPENN.COM = LOSER

Monday, September 4th, 2006

losers

“If youre not in first place, then your a loser” – Ricky Bobby’s daddy

The votes have been tabulated and DALLASPENN.COM is a loser in the 2006 Black Weblog Awards. This is no less then we expected seeing the competition that we were up against. The breadth of content and totally awesome writing of the other two blogs that we were up against made us realize why we will never be the most popular site on the internets.

That and the fact that we don’t take it up the azz.

losers

Now we’re not bitter that we didn’t win because we realize that even the best websites were passed over this year or not even nominated at all. At least NAH’RIGHT and ZILLZ brought home some hardware without being sites that completely pander to bullshit and suck azz so that makes me a little happy.

The one bit of solace that I take with me after losing what amounts to a high school popularity contest is that even as a fat boy, I am still the best looking out of the retards chosen for my category.

losers

POLITRICKS 2006: TRUST NO ONE…

Sunday, September 3rd, 2006

the fun bunch

That exploding noise that you hear is your pension future being placed inside the mortar rocket of a tank in Baghdad/Lebanon. These guys are laughing because FERNANDO FERRER ate all the cocktail shrimp before everyone arrived.

The sound bite buzz word for this year’s NY gubernatorial election locally and other national posts will be the term ‘Living Wages’. Now that the proverbial cat is out of the virtual bag which says during the last six years the erosion of the middle class has continued unobstructed I expect all the tricksters to talk about their love for the working people. It’s beoming obvious to me that we, the people, need the tricksters less and less if all they are going to give us back is empty rhetoric. Attorney General ELLIOT SPITZER is going to be the next governor of New York no matter who I vote for unless people take a serious and close look at how he passes the buck…

spitzy On Wall Street Corruption
“Frankly, it was never practicable for the AG’s office to receive a vast sum of money and then try to disperse that money to individual investors, … Those individual investors will have to go through some sort of fact-finding process to demonstrate who relied on who and is owed how much.”

On the Right to Privacy
“This is believed to be the largest deliberate breach of a privacy policy ever discovered by U.S. law enforcement, with this case against Gratis, we hope to set a new standard for Internet marketers and consumer research companies. Personal information secured through a promise of confidentiality must always remain confidential.”
spitzster

Uhh, hello, Federal wiretapping anyone?!? I guess SPITZER conveniently forgot about that case since it was way out of his league. SPITZER’s a Wall Street lackey who will bust the unions’ butts open like a coconut. Kiss that pension goodbye ladies and gentlemen, you folks will be working up until the day of your funeral.

NINA SIMONE Preferred Champale

Saturday, September 2nd, 2006

champingo

How gully was she?

Very.

HOTTENTOT VENUS 2006

Friday, September 1st, 2006

hottentot venus

The Model Minority was kind enough to lace us a few months back with a blurb on the sad story of the SAARTJIE BAARTMAN, the Venus of Hottentot. This is one of the many tragic African characters that faced the three headed Cerberus of colonialism, racism and supremacy. This character was reviled for her natural ample posterior when in the same Victorian culture women wore an apparatus to give them the image of having such a backside. It’s completely nutty to me when I look at her story now because she was openly persecuted, yet secretly idolized and fetishized for her body.

The two major examples of the mainstream media’s continuous Black woman ass fetish are my brownskin baby momma SERENA WILLIAMS a/k/a Court Chocolate a/k/a SHE-HULK and everyone’s favorite high yellow songstress, BeYONCE KNOWLES. Both these ladies are first rate entertainers, but folks in the media can’t get away from what really makes these women popular to them — their big asses.

serena

The New York Times was remarking on how heavy SERENA had become and they even chirped alongside JOHN McENROE and his superiors that said her extre-tennis lifestyle was ruining her power game. I remember when this same McENROE said that VEUNS and SERENA’s power games were ruining women’s tennis. McENROE should go to Hell and die.

My other Hottentot Venus is the purposely vacuous BeYONCE KNOWLES. I’m not old enough to remember the superstar grooming of DIANA ROSS, but I can see some connections between the two now that BeYONCE has immersed herself into acting. I know why DIANA ROSS tried so hard to get us to like her, because she had a difficult background, but with BeYONCE I am a little disturbed. She is completely overexposed for someone who is reportedly only 26. She’s not just burning herself out but she’s burning me out as well. Her name and likeness is attached to to so many things they will need to give her brand products their own wing at Wal-Mart by the time she reaches 30.

beyonce

I’m all for people coming up in the game and making some money so I don’t begrudge BeYONCE her success it’s just that her rapid oversaturation is going to cause a backlash where we will question what we enjoy about her so much.

In the end(pun wholly intended), the MSM doesn’t care about BeYONCE’s staying power because they will invent some celebrity to replace her even if they have to dig through a D-list garbage pail of Black talent. BUFFIE the Body anyone?

buffie