Archive for the ‘BeYONCE’s Hair’ Category

VH-1 Has Made B.E.T. Irrelevant…

Sunday, September 30th, 2007

hip hop honors

For one week a year VH-1 earnestly goes in and represents for Hip-Hop better than any media outlet evar. They make Black Entertainment Television’s programming look so damn amatuerish and irrelevant. I’m not saying that B.E.T. should be the network that exclusively broadcasts Hip-Hop related content, but B.E.T. shouldn’t get outclassed to the level that VH-1 does it to them.

This year is unfortunately no different for Whack Entertainment Television as VH-1 gears up for their annual broadcast of the Hip-Hop Honors Awards. I could prah’lee go in on why this show needs a shapeup as well, but for what it represents it is still the most important block of programming on television. VH-1 takes over the game this week though by rolling out a string of reality shows and documentaries focusing on Hip-Hop’s past, present and future.

If you work at Whack Entertainment Television and you haven’t given your resume yet to to Viacom’s VH-1 human resource department you better brush up on your gospel music because that is the only thing y’all will be broadcasting come next year. That and videos of ‘Chocolate Rain’ by TAY ZONDAY. B.E.T. please kill yourself.

‘BRIDGING THE GAP’
Ep.1 featuring QUEEN LATIFAH & EVE
Ep.2 featuring SNOOP DOGG & THE GAME
Monday October 1st 11pm

‘Bridging The Gap’ documents what happens when two established artists come together to explore their shared musical passions. In each half-hour episode, two artists who share a mutual admiration and respect for the other will share a day, discussing their lives while creating a new track produced by one of today’s hottest producers. Queen Latifah and Eve are featured in the premiere, while The Game and Snoop Dogg collaborate in the second episode at 11:30pm
Editor’s note: The first episode sounds like some feel good shit for the ladies. Let’s see if Latifah advises Eve on how to get it done in Tinseltown. Speaking of Hollywood Snoop and Gayme are some of Hollyhood’s best cRap-tors. They need someone to teach them how to stay out of prison.

‘VH1 ROCK DOCS: FADE TO BLACK’
Wednesday October 3rd, 8:30pm

Shawn Carter (Jay-Z) has been one of the most influential figures in black American music since the mid-nineties. “Fade To Black” reveals the multiple Grammy Award winning artist as never before, from his background and rise to fame to the recording of his last album. The film chronicles his legendary concert at Madison Square Garden in November 2003 that featured guest performances by BeyoncĂ©, Mary J. Blige, Missy Elliott, R. Kelly, Foxy Brown, Pharrell, and Questlove and The Illadelphonics along with appearances by hip hop icons Damon Dash, Rick Rubin, Slick Rick, P. Diddy and many others. Viewers get the rare glimpse into Jay-Z’s creative process as he searches for inspiration, poetry, and perfection in his songs. Narrated by Jay-Z himself, his account of the night takes on reflections of his entire musical career and his journey that led to this one astounding, fabled evening–rightfully called “Fade To Black.”
Editor’s note: The JiggaMan hype machine is gearing up. Yawwwwwn.

‘CLASSIC ALBUMS: JAY-Z – REASONABLE DOUBT’
Wednesday October 3rd, 11pm

VH1’s latest addition to the “Classic Albums” franchise takes us back through the whole creative process behind Jay-Z’s stunning first release “Reasonable Doubt.” Initially as a performer racking up an incredibly successful string of hit singles and albums and later as an executive, having taken on the presidency of Def Jam Records in 2004. “Reasonable Doubt” is still considered by many to be his finest achievement. A much harder hitting and edgy record than his later more polished and pop orientated releases, it announced to the world that a new rap star had arrived.
Editor’s note: ‘Reasonable Doubt’ is a great album as a piece of entertainment, but when media outlets continue to tout this album as a biblical account of his personal life it only serves to trivialize and further disenfranchise the families who were actually decimated from substance abuse. One day the people inside of the ghetto will file class action lawsuits against all the rappers who claim to have been former drug dealers. Until them I suppose I will have to suffer the veracity of this hustler’s homage.

‘VH1 HIP HOP HONORS’
Monday October 8th, 10pm

Once again, VH-1 honors the hip hop pioneers and legends that have made significant contributions to all aspects of pop culture with the fourth annual ‘VH-1 Hip Hop Honors’. Hosted by Tracy Morgan, this year’s honorees include A Tribe Called Quest, Snoop Dogg, WHODINI, Missy Elliott, the film Wild Style and Teddy Riley and Andre Harrell for New Jack Swing. The music and influence of each of the honorees will be recognized through performances by classic artists in collaboration with today’s hottest new talent. The honorees are set to take the stage and showcase their legendary talent, along with Ciara, Eve, Pharrell Williams, T.I., Timbaland, Bow Wow, Busta Rhymes, Common, T-Pain, Keyshia Cole, Nick Cannon, Nelly Furtado, Ne-Yo, KRS-One, Jermaine Dupri, Grandmaster Caz, Nelly, Mos Def, Kool Moe Dee, Grand Wizzard Theodore and The Chief Rocker Busy Bee as well as appearances by Chris Rock, Harvey Keitel, LL Cool J, Salt -N- Pepa, Kerry Washington and Diddy.
Editor’s note: The iNternets Celebrities are trying to score some red carpet access to this event. Stay tuned for more info.

Crap Music Fantasy League Q4 Registration

Thursday, September 27th, 2007

ballin

What you wanna do? You wanna be a baller, brawler or shot caller?

It’s that time again to tally up the cRapper rosters for the final quarter of 2007. This is big dog status in the music biz time. You better have at least Fisty Scent and Ghey-Z on your squads boys and girls because those are the niggas that bring in the money during this time of the year.

It seems like the Kangaye luster is starting to wane now. Ha, I said Wayne. No Lil’ Wang to me saying Wayne, but you might want to have Lil’ Wang on your roster for this quarter too. That nigga IS the best cRapper alive.

For those of you playing the cRap Music Fantasy league for the first time allow me to give you a quick guide to help you plot out your label’s roster of cRappers. Each player of the cRap Music Fantasy League is a record label owner. Each label has a roster of only eight(8) entertainers. You have to select one(1) R&B sanger and at least one(1) female cRapper. As a label owner you may select ANY cRappers you choose to be on your label, but choose your cRappers smartly based on their likelihood of producing points for your label during the 4th quarter (October 1 – December 31, 2007).

The way that cRappers score points in the cRap Music Fantasy League is of course by the traditional methods of releasing records, selling those records, creating music videos and other noteworthy press events like awards and citations. Because our game deals with the cRap music aspect of entertainment your artists can score points in other ways as well. By being arrested, indicted and convicted of crimes your cRappers can earn points for your label. If your artist appears on Oprah your label scores points too. Heaven forbid any artist should get merc’ked during quarter 4, but if one does while they are part of your label you get a whole lot of points. As the great J to the mwuah [ll] once said, “You know dead cRappers get better promotion.”

So here’s all you need to do to get started in the registration process of the cRap Music Fantasy League…

1) Create a name for your record label
2) Select your eight(8) individual artists
2a) Remember to have one(1) R&B artist, and at least one(1) female rapper

How simple is that? If you’re still a little confused then let some of the veterans of the game put in their selections so that they can show you how to do this son. The registration period ends on Sunday so bookmark this link and come thru later this weekend after you’ve gotten your mind right. Your registration will be confirmed by e-mail.

Oh and by the way, the winner of the cMFL gets a FREE pair of exclusive Nike kicks from DallasPenn Dot Com.

* POINT SCORING UPDATE *

Your label may also score points if your cRapper receives an RIAA gold/platinum certification for a ringtone, or if he/she creates a YouTube dance craze.

WIG OWNER W/O HER BEARD…

Wednesday, September 26th, 2007

a KEYS

GOD bless the little heart of ALEX 2.0.

She loves herself some ALICIA KEYS, place a No SHERYL SWOOPES[ll] on that last statement. She hates when I go in on ALICIA and her “partner” KERRY ‘Krucial Keys’. Truthfully I think it’s kind of progressive of them that KERRY has decided to take on ALICIA’s last name. We all know who brushes whose wig in this relationship. I’m not saying that I wouldn’t brush her wig either. ALICIA KEYS has got that tender, sweet fat on the back of her arms that every fine woman must have. I’m just not into the pegging game I’m sure she plays with KERRY. I call that shit the crying game. [ll]

The pics below show Ms. KEYS without her beard. No I meant that literally. She has a wild amount of razor bumps and ingrown hairs after shaving off her actual Levert-style beard. It looks like that ProActiv shit is worse than crack when you try to get off it cold turkey.

a keys

a keys

a keys

From the looks of some of these pictures ALICIA KEYS may have to get some tips from her beard KERRY on how to properly grow a beard. You know how dyke chicks love to rock chest hair and moustaches anyhoo.

Drunk & Hot Girls @ GABEROCKKA’s B-Day Party…

Sunday, September 16th, 2007

gaberockka

I gave GABE this jacket for his birthday. Nike founder PHIL KNIGHT allegedly originally named his company after Pabst Blue Ribbon beer. Damn, what kind of world was the early seventies really like if Pabst was actually considered a good beer? Blue Ribbon Sports is Nike’s O.G. moniker. This jacket also matches up nice with the Air Max 95 3M Croc joints.

am 95 3M crocs

Peace out to my homey KING TEE and his beatbox JESSICA, along with the party grrls Z and NICOLE. They all came through the screening of ‘Bodega’ on the rooftop of the H.Q. for Rooftop Films. Shit was bricker than a muv up in that muv too.

After the screening we blasted into what is called Sunset Slope in Brooklyn for GABEROCKKA’s 28th birthday party. Good thing I brought some chicks for us to look at because otherwise we all would have had to gang up on GABE’s smashbox. I brought along some extra ladies to kick it with so the fellas could all focus on getting GABE as effed up as possible. By the end of the night everyone was twisted up lovely. Nah’Mean? Shouts to EON for bringing that.

Shouts to MOS DEF for bringing it on this retarded track.


gaberockka

3-Way Freeway: GABE, ANGIE and DP

gaberockka

More love for GABE from MOOVES and his wife

gaberockka

ANGELO, GABE and DP pose for [ll].

gaberockka

Z and NICOLE starring as drunk and hot girls.

gaberockka

GABE, Z and EON of the everlasting zoot.

DP Dot Com Super Heroine Series: WONDER WOMAN

Friday, September 14th, 2007

ww106

True story is that even if there weren’t that many officially Black superheroines there were those ladies that I knew had some Black blood in them. Take my girl Wonder Woman for instance. Who do you think laid down with Hippolyte to birth all them broads? You know it was a deadbeat dad and that’s why Hippolyte moved away and got her own spot.

Bigger than all of that did y’all know that Diana had a jig twin sister? Hell yeah! How crazy is that shit? I always thought that this chick Nu’Bia was a Wonder Woman nemesis, but it turns out that she was her twin sister that they bounced from Paradise Island because she showed the features of the father. Remember that story where the couple wanted to trade in their colored baby for a lighter one? The same shit happened in the comics too.

Diana’s sister Nu’Bia was cast away and left for dead on the the craggy rocks near the sea. Hades heard the girl crying and picked her up. This is why when Nu’Bia came back to Paradise Island she ended up kicking Wonder Woman’s ass. She was like, “Bitch, you ain’t the boss of me!”

nubia

nubia

This is my point though. You could tell that Wonder Woman was part Black just for all the sass that she had with her shit. She was into tying motherfucker’s up and making them submit to her. Sounds kind’a freaky if you ask me, and to quote my homey LARRY BLACKMON, “I like it”.

So many comic characters are drawn and written from the perspective’s of white dudes who never left their parent’s basements or interacted with normal people. They project their fantasies of women into these characters. I’m not saying that is bad or wrong, but it’s obviously from the vantage point of someone who doesn’t understand the ultimate strength of a woman.

Whatever woman made the journey to America with her hands and feet chained together whilst she sat in darkness for three straight months is a Wonder Woman. You all already know this, but I am going to show this. Black women are the prototypes.

nubia

nubia