Archive for December, 2005


Friday, December 30th, 2005


“When KANGAY WEST was asked how many Grammy statues he thought he might be able to shove into his arsehole he calmy held up both hands…”

Who will be the most annoying crapper in 2006? Will it be the attention starved momma’s boy, KANGAY? How about violence minstrel FITTY? There’s always platinum tooth blackface whiteface PAUL WALL?

I am excited that the future looks to show that there will be no shortage of people ready and willing to trade up the mythos of the ghetto for their corporate masters. Keep in mind that Hip-Hop is NOT a culture. Capitalism IS the culture.

We will be here at DALLASPENN.COM ready to hate with the truth. Still broke as all hell and eating food left on restaurant plates or discarded into garbage pails just like a bum.



Thursday, December 29th, 2005


Please remember that when we at the website say Mexican we are referring to all peoples that speak spanish INCLUDING Castillans and some Portuguese.

Mexican women are hell’a sexy. From SALMA HAYEK to CATHERINE ZETA-JONES, from JELLO, to CHARO there is no one that you would rather munch your dingleberries than a Mexican woman. Sure they’re crazy and likely to set your apartment on fire when you don’t give them enough attention, but the intensity of their love is worth the price of that bottle of penicillin.

My biggest piece of advice would be not to talk bad about your Mexican woman’s cooking because that will cause her to give head to one of your homies. Also, if her age doesn’t end with ‘teen’ she is prah’lee washed up.

pink jello

Sneaker Fiends United!

Thursday, December 29th, 2005

AIR 180

This one goes out to all my peoples who love to stick their nose in a fresh pair of AIR MAX.

NIKE has some treats for us dropping on Three KIngs Day (coincidentally my favorite shopping day of all time).

The ADDICT page is under serious construction. Stay tuned for vintage ‘LO, Gucci, Timberland and of course ‘swoosh’ brand products.

My Uncle’s Name is TOM

Wednesday, December 28th, 2005


I remember as a kid learning that the term ‘Uncle Tom’ is derisive, which struck me as a bit ironic since I have an uncle whose name is Tom. My uncle Tom is a rebbe in Brooklyn. He is funny and quirky and really intelligent too. So I needed to know how having an ‘Uncle Tom’ was not a good thing.

I asked BILLY SUNDAY about the meaning of ‘Uncle Tom’ and what’s wrong with ‘selling out,’ since it is a phrase I’ve heard uttered in connection with the first.


The Uncle Tom character is someone who’s been given benefits and guarantees while he works hard to please his master. The Uncle Tom believes that due solely to his hard work, he has secured his master’s favor. The Uncle Tom believes that the master’s doctrines are universally beneficial and equitable.


The Whip Cracker is completely different from the Uncle Tom in that the Whip Cracker understands that the benefits he receives are issued not for meritous acheivement but for complicit behavior. The Whip Cracker doesn’t believe that he is favored by the master but understands that if he complies with the master’s programs, then he will be spared from the master’s wrath. The Whip Cracker knows the dirty tricks the master employs to control his holdings and the Whip Cracker has no empathy for the moral consequences. All the Cracker wants to know is,”When am I going to eat?”


In the end, the Uncle Tom is a tragic figure because he believes that he is truly loved by his controllers, whereas the Whip Cracker understands and accepts that he is only a servant responsible for sustaining the master’s control.


Wednesday, December 28th, 2005