Archive for January, 2007

DALLAS SPELLED BACKWARDS = ASSHOLE

Monday, January 22nd, 2007

shanequa

My first high school girlfriend was named SHAWNEQUA, and it’s pronounced just like the song from Bell Biv Devoe protégés A.B.C. She was exactly that type that you dream about in high school. She was a cutie pie plus a well-heeled shorty on top of that. Her folks had that guap and there wasn’t a day that she didn’t come through Tech looking like a little angel.

I remember running into SHAWNEQUA years later into my twenties and homegirl had graduated from Syracuse University and she was married to a lawyer dude or some other professsional type. I might have been a homeless drug addict at the time. She still had love or me.

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Too bad for me that during my high school years I was rolling with the sickest clique evar. Our reputation throughout the school was not to be effed with. I was starting to believe my own hype so I began looking for the baddest Brooklyn girls to roll with. Strictly Flatbush chicks from that point forward. I tried to break it to SHAWNEQUA nicely. In the end I looked like a jerk because the following day I was running around with TRACEY MILHOUSE.

Damn, I loved me some TRACEY MILHOUSE. This chick had my nose wide open even though she played me like a puppet on a string. She was the polar opposite of SHAWNEQUA. TRACEY was tall and slim, where SHANEQUA was a shorty with a mm-mm-mm backside. SHAWNEQUA was reserved and well mannered, but TRACEY was loud and obnoxious. SHAWNEQUA had real grey-green eyes, TRACEY wore contacts. TRACEY never really loved me, but she liked the thought of effing with a celebrity. The moral of this story is that at the end of the day you get what you deserve.

shanequa

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Sunday, January 21st, 2007

dontreezy

Even though my big homey DONTRELLE ‘D-TRAIN’ WILLIS just came off with a new one year deal with the Florida Marlins I expect them to trade dude when their season goes to the shitter. If the big homey comes to the Mets we could be in charge of the National League for a long time coming.

D-TRAIN is a 240lb. six foot four inch left handed heatmaker. Dude is a young beast up on the hill. He began his rookie season with a streak of eight straight wins and finished the season with a 14-6 record and Rookie of the Year honors while helping the Marlins win the World Series. The following year DONTRELLE rang up 22 wins and lead the majors in that category. The Marlins sucked as a team in 2006 because they traded everyone except for DONTRELLE. The Marlins recognize that dude brings people out to the stadium. DONTRELLE is also one of the best hitting pitchers in the game and he regularly posts a batting average better than some catchers and shortstops.

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Here are the exclusive DONTRELLE WILLIS Dunks in the Florida Marlins colorway. My Dunks game is so sick it’s like LIL’ WAYNE and PAMELA ANDERSON tongue kissing each other in a New Orleans swamp.

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NONOXYNOL-9 SUCKS ASS!

Sunday, January 21st, 2007

Editor’s Note: I am dropping this Re-Up Gang post for the grown azz men and women that come to this site for real talk about sex and health issues. For years I had been telling the people that something wasn’t right with the way Black women are picking up the AIDS like it’s a fried fish dinner from the church fundraising night. One of my readers from Canada got on her grind and wrote me back. Peep the technique…

My weblog readers are sharp as hell and they responded when I said that Nonoxynol-9 should be blamed for the recent spike in HIV contraction among African American women…

Dallas,
I have recently come across some interesting information that I thought was important to share with you, even though I’m sure most of it you know already. Basically, nonoxynol 9 is horrible stuff and no one should use it. Don’t look at me as a horrid skank, I just think the fact that you can even buy condoms with this stuff in it is absurd. Plus I find the level of ignorance in Canada regarding the delicate vaginal ecosystem terrifying and am doing my best to combat it. All I have to say is, yay for private health care.

This is a World Health Organization article on N-9 saying that it may encourage the contraction of HIV and herpes, doesn’t prevent cervical gonorrhoea, and chlamydia, and causes yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis in women.

WHO officials heard of an increasing number of complaints by women using spermicides and contraceptive sponges with nonoxynol-9 who experienced vaginal and cervical ulcers, burning sensations, and recurring yeast infections.

They are not exactly sure why but they think that nonoxynol-9 can disrupt the epithelium, or wall, of the vagina, thereby potentially facilitating invasion by an infective organism.

http://www.ehn.clara.net/chemicals.html
Women who use diaphragms with Nonoxynol-9 (N9) spermicides have twice to three and a half times the risk of contracting a urinary tract infection (UTI). The spermicide inhibits the growth of normal, beneficial vaginal bacteria that naturally protect against infections such as lactobacilli and gardnerella vaginalis, thus encouraging the overgrowing of the harmful bacterium escherichia coli (E-coli). Condoms are another major source of exposure to N9. Spermicide-coated condoms were responsible for 42% of E coli UTIs among women who were exposed to these products.

Info from a healthy sex site:
How does Nonoxynol-9 work against HIV?
HIV is a virus that has a fatty membrane around it, just like our own cells have. Nonoxynol-9 is essentially a detergent. Detergents cut through grease, and that’s exactly how N-9 kills HIV and other sexually transmitted infections. But it only does the job in a test tube. What we found in this study was that once you put N-9 in a woman’s vagina, it will also cut through the fat of her cells, which makes it easier for HIV to get into those cells. Women who are highly exposed to N-9 actually show ulceration on the tissues of the vagina, and those ulcers can enhance the ability of HIV to get in. The same holds true for men. The rectum is even more vulnerable than the vagina to the effects of N-9.

Problematic case study from Canada:
Of 64 women commercial sex workers in Canada who used condoms lubricated with nonoxynol-9, 28 reported vaginal discharge, five reported increased thrush infection and four reported a burning sensation or numbness. Another study found 43 percent of women suffer irritation. Dr. Malcolm Potts, Secretary of International Family Health said studies on the spermicide had been very inadequate and more research was needed.

Here is a great article from Wired magazine, which claims N-9 doesn’t do much for contraception either.

And here is an article from the WHO stating (on page 7 of the PDF) that there is no conclusive evidence that condoms with N-9 prevent pregnancy better than other lubricants in vitro.

ARE WE THERE YET?!?

Saturday, January 20th, 2007

airplane

You have to suspend logic when you get on board an airplane. If you told someone that you were going to put them in and aluminum tube and use highly volatile weapons grade fuel to propel the tube 30,000 feet into the atmosphere and then drop somewhere that you could predict beforehand… Well, how crazy is that? Yet we go to airports and get inside of airplanes without giving the act a second thought.

So here we are in Phoenix (supposedly) waiting for the connector to Salt Lake City. I said supposedly because I don’t really know where I am for sure. The airport is a nowhere space in reality and time. Food and everyday items like toothpaste are totally priced out of scale. You can’t tell where people are from in the airport. People are weird and disparate looking. Rarely is anyone actually friendly which is highlighted by the meta-superficial ‘buh bye’ from the flight crew.

Somehow, someway you end up in another place at another time and you keep it moving.

O.K. I’m just talking shit now. RAFI ate a wild looking Pizza-Hut chicken pizza. I passed on it because I don’t want to deal with ‘the Bubble’ on an airplane. Salt Lake City is the next stop on this journey, and the journey is what it’s all about.

Just keepin’ shit 100 with y’all.

UPDATE: I ended up eating the pizza too. And yes, the rude ‘Bubble’ was cooking up in my stomach afterwards. I made it to base camp in time without having to use public accomodations. Whew!

GOING BACK TO CALI, NAHH I DON’T THINK SO…

Friday, January 19th, 2007

sundance kid

I should prah’lee kill myself for shamelessly swagger jacking Oh Word’s graphic concept, but I won’t kill myself just yet.

Peep this hot shit party people… The dudes that bought the ‘Bodega’ video are sending me and RAFI to the Sundance Film Festival this week to allow us to live out our dreams of partying in a white paradise. I’m loading up as much Coldplay, AVRIL LAVIGNE and Steely Dan on my iPod as I can find. White will be from the windows to the wall up in that bitch. Not even New York white either which becomes somewhat dingy due to the constant contact with colored peoples. I’m talking about that white that has never seen a real live Black person. Crazy snowshoe mountain white.

I’m gonna try and pitch the feature film edition of ‘Ghetto Big Mac’ where RAF and I make Big Macs out of Filet-O-Fish sandwiches and Chicken McNuggets. Fuck what ya’ momma told you, that shit will be bigger than ‘Spider-Man 3’. I guess I’ll go see that movie where DAKOTA FANNING gives her baby starfish up. There’s another movie they’re screening that has SAM JACKSON chaining CRISTINA RICCI to a radiator? I always suspected that this was the kind of freakadelic shit white gets into when you let them convene in the mountains.

I swear if someone even asks me to push a button in an elevator…