Archive for May, 2007

Reflections Eternal On The NFL Draft…

Sunday, May 6th, 2007

dw

I wish we had an NFL Annual Player Selection consultant here at DP Dot Com. Did any of you humps even follow the draft? I’m secretly glad that BRADY QUINN’s stock fell faster than COREY LIDLE’S Cessna because when my homey RYAN GRANT was balling for Notre Dame he wasn’t getting the rock from QUINN as much as he should have. I suppose that’s all good in the ‘hood now since GRANT was drafted by his hometown Giants anyhoo. Still, BRADY QUINN as a top five pick while MATT LEINART was 10th or whatever?!? BRADY, you get a ‘Ho Sit Down’ from DP Dot Com.

JAMARCUS RUSSELL is the second Black quarterback to be chosen with the first overall in the draft. Does anybody remember who the first was? The answer to that will win you a DP Dot Com Football Pooler Prize. RUSSELL played his collegiate football in Louisiana at LSU and along with another great NFL’er who went to Grambling State he continues the tradition of Black Bayou-schooled bigtime signal callers.

DOUG WILLIAMS played for Grambling back in the days when the Whitney M. Young Urban League game was still hosted at Yankee Stadium. Those games were as close as you could get to an authentic Negro League event. The halftime show featuring Grambling State’s marching band is still legendary. Back in those days when DOUG WILLIAMS was still at Grambling State it was like watching a god on Earth disguised as a quarterback. DOUG was so big and tall that he would push around defensive linemen that tried to tackle him and then he would throw the football from one endzone to the other so much as flicking his wrist.

All I can remember from back then were all my fathers’ friends and relatives with their families and the picnic baskets filled with fried chicken and cornbread. Too bad the Yankees never sell that food during the regular season. The older men would have their flasks in their back pockets and there would be all of this hooting and hollering except for when Grambling had possession of the ball. It would only take WILLIAMS a few snaps to do something incredible that would make the entire stadium explode with the type of cheer that only 50,000 Black people could muster. Try to imagine a collective “Awwwwwww sheeeeeeeet!”. For DOUG WILLIAMS and Grambling State University it was like playing a home game.

I remember buying tickets to the game as an adult an offering my dad my extra ticket when one of my homeys had a change of plans. It was fun to hang out with my dad at the game even though he made for a lousy wingman. I have a thing for hussy type broads and that never really sat well with the old man. Anyhoo, we enjoyed the afternoon, and the Grambling State Marching Tigers remain nonpareil when considering any university. If you have a chance to see them perform live I suggest you take the opportunity.

grambling

grambling

Back to JAMARCUS RUSSELL… I’m glad his ass is playing football because a name like JAMARCUS isn’t going to be good for too much else. His height and weight even eclipse DOUG WILLIAMS’ so I expect some big things in a couple of years from this man. It’s just too bad for him that RANDY MOSS isn’t in Oakland any longer.

Other notes on the NFL Annual Player Selection…
Nobody thinks they can throw a football one hundred yards like a JAMARCUS RUSSELL, but everybody thinks they can do a better job than their teams general manager, especially when that GM is MATT MILLEN.

  • Detroit selects ANOTHER wide receiver. CALVIN JOHNSON is the truth. It’s just too bad he can’t throw the ball to himself.
  • The first round was thin for skilled positions like RB, but Minnesota got themselves a good one this time with ADRIAN PETERSON.
  • Miami needs help more on defense than on offense if they are going to catch up to the Patriots. Their pick, TED GINN Jr., would have been a better fit in Atlanta.
  • I thought the Jets would select Texas’ CB AARON ROSS, but instead they picked up a CB from PITT who wasn’t on my chart. The scoop on DARELLE REVIS is that he’s a playmaker. We shall see.
  • Real Life Ho’s Are Coming Up In The Game…

    Saturday, May 5th, 2007

    lauren phoenix

    I’ve been trying to tell y’all for the longest time that all the real bonafide ho’s of the world needed to step their games up because all these upstart singers and rappers were about to steal their shine. It looks like my favorite pr0n actress got the memo in time.

    LAUREN PHOENIX is this bad little piece of Canadian white meat who sometimes works with me when I go hardbody on my several day blogging benders. I love her because she always makes that face that is part surpise, part satisfaction. Plus, she’s a true party girl who pretty much takes it good in any orifice.

    lauren phoenix

    LAUREN is now modeling for American Apparel and being featured on their classic long tubesocks campaign. Expect to see me in some American Apparel long tubesocks this summer. I gotta show support for my homegirl.

    lauren phoenix

    lauren phoenix

    Swagger Jacking On The R & B Tip…

    Saturday, May 5th, 2007

    kelis

    When DALLAS AUSTIN outed JOSS STONE for fucking RAPHAEL SAADIQ for production help he should have also mentioned that she was swagger-jacking KELIS for her kaleidescope coloration as well (there’s a pic of JOSS STONE wrapped around SAADIQ while they are both butt nekkid and all painted up, I wasn’t able to find it on the web, but it’s out there somewhere).

    Update: Shout out to DP Dot Com reader RM for the jpeg

    joss stone album

    The big deal was when DALLAS put CHRISTINA AGUILERA’s name in his mouth. That’s when DALLAS got shitted on and reminded by the tI’s that his azz could still be rotting in a Dubai prison. Memo to DALLAS, don’t ever mistake your musical talent for something that allows you to transcend the color of your skin. Take a lesson from CAM’RON and stop snitching. Just be happy that your muskrat looking azz even gets some pussy.

    Another important point to note is that KELIS’ arrest record will be copied by these R & B starlets before her new wigstyle.

    kelis

    PUT SHAQUANDA COTTON’s MOMMA IN JAIL!

    Friday, May 4th, 2007

    shaquanda

    Anyone who names their child SHAQUANDA should be pre-emptively arrested and incarcerated for all the future crimes that their child will commit. You know that there is nothing positive coming from anyone with that name. You can argue that CONDOLEEZA renders that argument moot, but I ask you what has been so positive about her career? Other than the swelling tax brackets for Halliburton shareholders.

    Does a name mean anything to the world outside? Does it describe someone’s values or their aspirations? How many of you will be naming your children DALLAS?

    Because I have said for years that DALLAS PENN is for the kids’, I will cut right to the chase and give you a few important links to consider before you name your children. The first one gives you a listing of the top twenty whitest names and the top twenty Blackest names for girls. In other words, these are the most popular names for girls along racial lines…

    The following list is for the top twenty names for boys comparing white and Black babies…

    In honor of my internets brother, The Assimilated Negro, here is the listing of the top twenty ‘crossover’ names. These are the names that had the greatest attraction to both white and Black parents…

    I’m A Stan For SPIDER-MAN…

    Thursday, May 3rd, 2007

    spiderman week

    For me it’s a story about the first comic book character I ever tried to draw. Then it becomes the realization of a character who doesn’t feel the skin he’s in. Spider-Man is the transcendant story of a teenager coming of age in the world. Imagine yourself feeling powerful and nearly invincible, but at the same time you are scared to kiss a girl because of your acne. What endears Spider-Man to you aren’t his strengths, but his weaknesses, his flaws. Marvel Comics forever broke the mold for the genre by portraying someone so inadequate and ultimately heroic not because of his power, but because of his responsibility to himself.

    I have a few more DVD’s to mail away and I want to extend myself to the readership that has children at home.

  • ELOHEEM, you are steady in my comments section. Send your snail mail address to my e-mail address so I can shoot you a video.
  • Anyone else that wants a copy of the first Spider-Man movie in this current series only needs to answer this question. What is the mantra that Peter Parker/Spider-Man lives his life by after the death of his Uncle Ben?