Archive for August, 2007

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New York City = The New Creve Coeur

Friday, August 10th, 2007

beatdown

I beat my bitch with a stick!

A few weeks ago BYRON CRAWFORD came to New York City to partake of the histrionically white Rock The Bells concert. The next thing you know a twister touches down in Brooklyn (sans Big Macs). WTF is that about? Don’t them shits only happen in the Midwest? There are a lot of new transplants in the city from the Midwest so maybe one of those meatbags brought that shit with them too.

Well there is no such thing as a coincidence when some pussy-whipped high school dropout kills his beautiful girlfriend after reading Bol’s drop on the godawful Sean Kingston song. He later supposedly tried to kill himself by slitting his wrists on the roof of a housing project before he was apprehended. I would say that was a pretty lame ass attempt since homey could have just jumped the ten or so stories and landed on his head, but maybe this dude Michael Cordero was actually using his head instead?

If I was dude’s lawyer, er, public defender, I would just publicly state that the use of synths and vocoders in the Hip-Hop song ‘Beautiful Girls’ intoxicated him into action because he thought his girlfriend was leaving him. Blaming rock lyrics for suicides is totally retro, but blaming Hip-Hop songs for inciting murder is taking shit back to the future. I’m not saying that he still won’t get served a grip of time, but when all the focus gets shifted onto the back of Hip-Hop dude might end up with a manslaughter sentence. I can’t speak for the alleged perpetrator, but if I were him I would blame everything I did on that damn song.

Read about the case…

Boyfriend of Victim Slits Wrists, Police Say

Now listen to the song…

SEAN KINGSTON – ‘Beautiful Girls’

C’mon?!? How could you not blame this crime on that stupid song? If I’ve learned anything in the last several months about how rap music has become a pariah in American culture akin to Osama Bin Laden, it’s that money is being made by all the confusion. I think Sean Kingston’s label should press up a billion CD singles and sell them at Starbucks. Oprah will be pulling out her domestic violence programming, AND it’s summer sweeps week to boot. You know the lawyers are gonna get their chips up from this shit too. The merc’ked broads mom should be filing a lawsuit against Sean Kingston as you read this now. And all of this wild shit is going down just because Bol brought his Midwest country ass to New York City.

Dayum. Nullus to the fullest.

Posted in Billy Sunday @ XXL, Ghetto Celebs, Lust = Love, Social Upheaval, T.O.N.Y. | 8 Comments »

cRap Music Fantasy League Q3 Update #4

Friday, August 10th, 2007

fisty

cRap music moguls stand up! Unless of course you don’t feel like it. The action for CMFL Q3 is starting to heat up. We’re still only at the halfway mark for this quarter and everyone is part of the scoring action. Even iFuxxx who elected to chose a true cRap Music darkhorse in West coast cRapper Mitchy Slick.

I am printing all the scores for every single label owner in this update. Some of you cRap Music Moguls would be smart to follow the example of El gringo who owns America Done Fell Off Records. One of his artists who is lesser known is releasing an album this month. He made sure that he sent me the URL with that info and I credited him with those points. If you ain’t in it, you ain’t gonna win it.

Pretty Dollar Entertainment 2450
DubbleUP Entertainment 2125
America Done Fell Off Records 1975
Gain Green Records 1900
Smart-Dumb Rappers Records 1875
Grand Theft Audio Records 1750
Rainmen Records 1725
Harleyworld Music 1575
Ambulance Entertainment 1500
Krack Ko Kaine Entertainment 1450
Diamond Ballers Records 1425
Bamboozled Records 1400
20/20 Proof Records 1400
Blue & Creme Entertainment 1400
Game One Records 1375
BlackStar Records 1375
Quarter Water Juice Records 1275
Sheem-Deem Entertainment 1250
Renegade Records 1250
Rook Records 1175
Brick Productions 1125
626 WreckChords 1075
Yes Baby Yes Entertainment 1025
Windbreaker Records 975
Bodega Records 950
Incilin Productions 950
Roscoes Records & Waffles 950
Dead Presidents Records 950
NYC Records 950
GnomesayinTambout 925
Bulletproof Records 925
Cool Cash Collective 900
Deaf Jam Records 900
11206 Records 850
Derailed Records 825
Cloud Nine Records 825
R.adabing I.ntontanton P.roductions 825
Paperclip Records 775
Flatline Records 775
Combat Jack Entertainment 775
Fingered Records 750
Avant-Garde Records 450
Mental Calisthenics Records 350
Da Wig Snatcherz 325
Chaos Records 300
Likwid Tangs Music 200
I Fux Entertainment 200
Buffoonery Recordings 150

Pretty Dollar Entertainment still holds the overall top slot but everyone is tight on their heels, plus P.D.E. doesn’t have ‘YE TUDDA on their roster. Nobody has BeYonce or JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE either and those fools are about to cake up hard at the VMA’s on September 9th. I’m sure Fisty will have something to say before this quarter is over and done with. As we currently stand T.I. and Remy Ma are the leading point scoring artists.

Posted in Billy Sunday @ XXL, cRap Fantasy League, Crappers, Ghetto Celebs, No Boutros Boutros... Ghali, Straight Laced | 21 Comments »

HOLLYWOOD x MARVEL COMICS STAYS WINNING…

Thursday, August 9th, 2007

starks

Did you fools hear that GhostFace Killah is being added to the cast of next year’s summer blockbuster movie ‘Iron Man’? This is the sickest shit in the world and that’s why Marvel stays winning at the end of the day. I would have been satisfied to see Ghost on the movie’s soundtrack, but to insert the wally champ into the film is a tip of the hat to the Wu Tang movement that always paid homage to the Marvel Comics legacy. Someone in the Marvel front office is smart enough to push the buttons that give their projects an underground, insider, cultural relevance.

Nothing was better than the scene in X-3 where the Juggernaut proclaimed, “I’m the Juggernaut bitch!” I was in a packed movie house in downtown Brooklyn when I along with about three other viewers yelled out the line in sync with the movie. That line was added late in the post production of the film, but still someone in Marvel’s administration was in tune with the alternate underground culture of young people and the internets.

The ‘Iron Man’ flick is still almost a year away, but images and details are slowly being leaked and even some of the costume details are floating around. Here are a few pics of Iron Man’s O.G. armor suit and a production still of ROBERT DOWNEY Jr. as he fabricates some of Iron Man’s more updated armor. Peep how dude is in a kitchen or someplace with an ample supply of Perrier and Voss artesian water. The TONY STARKS character was most definitely a baller. No way that dude is effing with cheap azz Poland Spring.

iron man

iron man

iron man

Posted in Fanboy Ish, Hollyweird, No Boutros Boutros... Ghali, T.O.N.Y., The Addict, When I Reminisce... | 12 Comments »

KEEPING MY EYES ON THE PRIZE…

Thursday, August 9th, 2007

gsh

One of my dad’s favorite anecdotes was to give people flowers when they could still smell them. In honor of my dad’s 62nd birthday I decided to give some flowers to one of the great geniuses of African American expression. GIL SCOT-HERON is a consummate artist. He was an accomplished author before he even published music, and we all know his mighty poetic artistry is what has come to define the spoken word genre.

I should give credit to the Giant Step and Lyricist Lounge families that introduced me to GIL SCOT-HERON and another giant genius, JOHN COLTRANE. It was at dank, tiny club in New York City called S.O.B.’s that I saw GIL SCOT-HERON perform live. The pain and relevance contained in his lyrics was so readily apparent on his face. It was almost as if GIL wouldn’t be able to complete his set. He seemed ready to just be overcome with emotion and keel over. When GIL SCOT-HERON spoke of the demons that chased the junkie into oblivion you knew he WAS that addict and he was holding on for dear life.

In 2006, GIL announced that he was HIV positive even as he still struggled with heroin addiction. I appreciate GIL SCOT-HERON for being the messenger from GOD for me that ODB was as well as ‘TRANE and BILLIE HOLIDAY were. Look past the drugs and the alcohol and the substances that they were given to dilute their message. They were representatives of love. When I am loving someone that is where I find GOD everytime. GOD has already blessed GIL SCOT-HERON. When you find some love today give thanks for your blessings.


Message To The Messengers


Home Is Where The Hatred Is


Lady Day


We Almost Lost Detroit


Or Down You Fall


The Revolution Will Not be Televised


The Bottle

Posted in Ghetto Celebs, Social Upheaval, The Addict, When I Reminisce... | 16 Comments »

Dr. BILLY SUNDAY: Double D’s = Depression & Death

Thursday, August 9th, 2007

d's

Dr. BILLY SUNDAY is for the ladies, no really…

Throwing some D’s on your chest might not be what’s up after all. A United States study performed on Swedish women found that women who had undergone breast augmentation were three times as likely to commit suicide as women who had not had the procedure. Along with that study the researchers also found that women with breast implants were also three times more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol as women who had not been under the knife. Basically, this report confirms everything I always suspected about big fake titty bitches. They are crazy as fuck.

This is why I’m an ass man, and I love women who try to get pregnant through their butts. Believe it or not, but these broads are way saner than C-cup ho’s. Give me a big booty broad with a cute face and some A/B tittays any day over some gorgonzola with basketballs in her bra. Face it, those D-cups will be down to her knees when she’s in her sixties, and that’s only going to eff up some of the best snatch out on the streets right now. Post-menopausal grandma poon is a gift from GOD. No one gives better love than a grandma. Especially when she pulls out her dentures.

You want more proof that large fake titty broads are banana bread crazy? The chick that smuggled herself across state lines to get with that astronaut dude. Yep. D-cups. Foxy Brown was already nuts. That bitch is CHARLES MANSON crazy now. BRITNEY SPEARS was never this fucked up as a natural B-cup. Now she is giving her baby’s sody pop in their bottles because she can’t nurse them naturally from her cigarette smoke-filled fake milkbags. Big fake tits only get in the way of a good time anyway. Natural D’s might have some use though if the chick is lactating, and then she can put some milk on my Franken-Berry cereal, but other than that I definitely don’t need a crazy big fake titty bitch in my life.

Dr. BILLY SUNDAY is not a registered physician or general practitioner.

d's

Posted in BeYONCE's Hair, Black Bullshit, Lust = Love, No Boutros Boutros... Ghali | 17 Comments »

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