Archive for October, 2007

cRap Music Moguls Unite!

Monday, October 22nd, 2007

lyor chaka

Here’s a chance for you to get to know some of the label owners that are playing in 2007 Q4 edition of the DP Dot Com cRap Music Fantasy League. The best thing about the cMFL is that you really don’t have to a fan of rap music to be a good label owner. If you read the newspaper or the police blotter with any regularity you could put together a roster that scores a lot of points. DALLAS asked all the label owners a few questions to learn what their rap music pedigree was and how they came to love the music that I control. That’s ‘I’ as in T.I.

1) Who is your favorite rap artist?
2) What is your favorite rap song?
3) What is the first rap record/album/CD that you purchased?
4) Why would a rapper want to sign with your label?

After I read some of the replies I selected a few label owners to highlight…

saydatnuccaname SAYDATNUCCANAME WREKKIKDS
1. Ghostface Killah
2. ATCQ – ‘Scenario’
3. Arrested Development – ‘3 Years, 5 Months, & 2 Days in the Life Of…’
4. At SayDatNuccaName Wrekkids, we have no problem calling these other cRappers out and shittin’ on their whole steez. If you ain’t rollin’ wit’ SayDatNuccaName then you may as well kill yo’ self.

gunshine state records GUNSHINE STATE MUSIC
1. Eminem
2. Nas – ‘Memory lane’
3. D12 – ‘D12 World
4. no B.S’n here, just make good music…

berries n cream BERRIES & CREAM RECORDS
1. Masta Ace. I dont really like the term rap artist, but err um MC, rap artist whatever.
2. Big L – ‘Danger Zone’
3. The 1st album I bought? WTF kinda question is that?! Cuz we used to steal you know how niggaz is? Maybe. Anyways I guess it would be Da Lench Mob Guerillas in da Mist because it was in a dollar bin and I was like Oh Shit Ice Cube son! He an angry nigga like me so I copped it.
4. A rapper would want to sign with us because we give them Berries and Cream. Plus we do their marketing, promotion, give them a $250,000 advance and make sure that they get 5 cent for every album sold and 25 cents for every ringtone sold. What more do these greedy niggaz need jeez? No publishing rights though. We got to keep those safe because you never know who might get killed.

crap a lot CRAP-A-LOT RECORDS
1. jiggaman
2. big – ‘juicy’
3. 2pac – makaveli
4. ‘coz i’ma merk ’em otherwise

krack kokaine KRACK KO KAINE ENTERTAINMENT
1. Biggie Smalls
2. Black Sheep – ‘Choice Is Yours’
3. Whodini – ‘Escape’
4. Because we international and you’re just local!!!!

combat jack COMBAT JACK RECORDS
1. jay-z
2. tie between jay z & b.i.g – ‘brooklyn’s finest’
dre and snoop – ‘deep cover’
nice & smooth & gangstarr – ‘dwyck’
main source – ‘looking at the front door’
b.i.g – ‘unbelievable’
2pac – ‘hit em up’
public enemy – ‘rebel w/o a pause’
m.o.p. – ‘ante up’
mobb deep – ‘shook ones, pt.2’
o.c. – ‘time’s up’
t.ski valley – ‘catch the beat’
bdp – ‘bridge is over’
bdp – ‘my philosophy’
jay z – ‘takeover’
nas – ‘ether’
rakim – ‘my melody’
rakim – ‘I know you got soul’
jay z – ‘where I’m from’
jay z – ‘you must love me’
ulta-magnetic mcs – ‘ego trippin’
tim dogg – ‘eff compton’
common sense – ‘bitch in you’
nwa – ‘straight outta compton’
nwa – ‘fuck the police”
gangstarr – ‘just to get a rep’
special ed – ‘i got it made’
big daddy kane – ‘warm it up kane’
brand nubian – ‘allah u akbar’
brand nubian – ‘punks jump up to get beatdown’
b.i.g – ‘machine gun funk’
b.i.g. – ‘warning’
b.i.g. ’10 crack commandments'”
b.i.g. – ‘what’s beef’
b.i.g. feat. eminem – ‘dead wrong’
b.i.g. – ‘kick in the door’
cam’ron feat jay-z – ‘welcome to new york city’
cam’ron – ‘killa kam’
busta rhymes – ‘put your hands where my eyes can see’
run dmc – ‘sucker mcs’
run dmc – ‘run’s house’
run dmc – ‘rock box’
m.o.p. feat jay z – ‘4 alarm blaze’
juice crew – ‘symphony’
biz markie – ‘vapors’
geto boys – ‘mind playin tricks’
scar face – ‘seen a man die’
kanye west – ‘can’t tell me nothing’
big daddy kane – ‘young, gifted and black’
epmd – everything from 1st four albums except ‘you drink too much’ and ‘it’s time to party’
audio two – ‘top billin’
lauryn hill – ‘lost ones’
fresh 3 mcs’ – ‘f.r.e.s.h.’
dougie fresh and slick rick – ‘the show’
queen latifah – ‘wrath of my madness’
lil kim feat jay z – ‘big momma thing’
lil kim feat diddy – ‘no time’
mc lyte – ‘cram to understand’
ll cool j – ‘momma said’
3. kurtis blow – ‘ego trip’
4. Combat Jack’s 5 Gulliest Moments In The Music Business

t.i.

Mr.WEST says…
Do me a favor fam and choose 50 because my ass is wore’d out from SNL repeating the show featuring me again this past weekend.

They need to just go ‘head and hire me in place of that homo homeboy they fired, What his name was… FINESSE? [ll]

yeWest

DP Dot Com Football Pool Wk. 7 Recap…

Monday, October 22nd, 2007

brady bunch

Furiou$tylez continues to maintain his dominance in the DP Dot Com Football Pool by picking at least eight(8) games correctly every week. If any of us poolers hope to run up on him from behind [ll] we had better pick a few Bostons in the next few weeks. Speaking of Boston, how sick are those Red Sox? And how futuristic are those Patriots?!? I know Indy is still on par with them as far as their overall undefeated record is concerned, but I don’t think PEYTON and the Longnecks have the same swagger that New England has.

I suppose we’ll see what the deal is between these two powerhouses on November 4. In the meantime and in bwetween time let’s look at some of the pick leaders for Week 7…

FBOMBS 9
Tiffany’s a Colts fan 9
Behind Bars Bengals 9
bears rule 9
Zilla Rocca 9
Patriot Games 8
Tom Brady’s Dirty Bastard 8
AmadeoSweetPicks 8
Furiou$tylez Is Your Daddy 8
i will not lose 8
alex2.0_still_hanging_in_there 8

Peep how three(3) ladies are in the Top Ten. My advice to some of you fellas is to let your girlfriends make your weekly picks for you. Hell, it worked out last season for LM. True story.

t.i.

BLOODSUCKERS OF THE UNIVERSE…

Sunday, October 21st, 2007

t.i.

Most of you have seen the name T.I. used to reference the cabal of executives that manage the multinational corporations that govern this planet. Because the T.I.’s are mega wealthy and mega powerful I think we have always assumed that they were whites. The truth is that the T.I.s are actually extraterrestrials that came to Earth centuries ago.

Sure they are wicked evil, but without them we wouldn’t have good shit like television or breakfast cereal. So what if we have to give them our blood? That’s only a small price to pay for t.v. ‘Purple Rain’ was on Vh-1 this past weekend. That’s Appolonia bitches. Thank you T.I.’s for all of your retro video goodness. Which brings me to the purpose of this drop. I’ve decided to let one of the T.I.’s take over the guest-editing duties of this site while I focus on my day job.

I think this will be an excellent opportunity for you folks to get some insight on what motivates the T.I.’s to do what they do. Whether it’s putting the world on the brink of war, or using a Black mammy Aunt Jemima figure to further the agenda of passive aggressive racism the T.I.’s have a plan. And whether we like it or not we will be used and exploited. But maybe there’s a softer side to the T.I.’s that we haven’t seen. I’m willing to find out if there is more to their Machevellian machinations. Who knows, maybe after seeing things from the T.I.’s perspective I might switch all my mutual fund accounts into the prison industrial complex sector. Lord knows that biotech sector hasn’t done shit for me.

The real reason I am turning this site over to the T.I.’s is because I need the money. It’s not even reasonable to think I can pay my bills if I keep staying up 5 a.m. every night reading blogs and searching news feeds in order to create content for this site and the seven daily readers that leave comments. I’d rather let the T.I.’s program this blog than have their middlemen from Google place ads in the sidebar. Let’s get our supremacy and capitalism straight with no chaser. Let’s see who among you can handle the truth…

t.i. Hello Dallas Penn Dot Com homeboys and homeboyettes. My name is ToRBuLaX and I am the T.I. in charge of the entertainment sector of the planet Earth. I get to decide who will be the CEO of Viacom, Universal or Disney Corp.

Sure, I choose someone who I have groomed to help me continue the agenda that makes Blacks the wretched of the Earth and keeps women in a subservient role to men, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t be friends during the weekend.


I mean, c’mon, seriously, what more do you want from me? I gave you the ‘Cosby Show’ AND ‘A Different World’ back in the eighties. So now why is it that the ‘In Living Color’ and ‘Girlfriends’ reruns average more daily viewers? I can’t even remember the last time any Black people tuned it to ‘Like It Is’.

I hope we can have some fun together while I am here, and maybe, just maybe I will consider giving your fiend DALLAS a larger forum to express himself. Just don’t try to fuck up my income streams and I won’t produce another ‘Birth Of A Nation’.

*crosses fingers behind back*

t.i.

Whites Were The Original Niggers…

Sunday, October 21st, 2007

og

BILLY X. SUNDAY school everyday at XXL Mag Dot Com

Instead of trying to stop people from using the word nigger we should be trying to have as many people use the word as possible. That is how you put the word in its proper place. For generations it has been a term of derision for African Americans and no Black people have been courageous enough to study the roots of the word. Not the Alex Haley ‘Roots’ which are powerful for sure, but the etymology roots, the beginnings, the genesis, the O.G. usage. It wasn’t a bad word in the beginning because it described someone’s occupation.

In America we have done such a good job of reconfiguring language that most of us don’t recognize what we are describing when we talk. That’s why your cousin Billy Sunday comes here to XXL Mag Dot Com. I come to bring the light to the dark. Not that Dark, because I don’t think he has the mental capacity to go in too deep. The dark in the figurative obfuscated sense. I imagine that’s why most of you come to these threads in the first place. You want someone to make some semblance of sense out of this fucked the fuck up American pie. Since you came through, let’s go in…

The roots of the word nigger are northern European. The Dutch settlers that came to America to find their fortune were land owners back in their old country. Who else would have the scrilla to contract a ship to bring them across the Atlantic? These wealthy land owners were enticed at the idea of the Americas being a land of gold and riches. In order to build their settlements and their communities over here similar to the establishments they held in Europe they had to bring their entire staff as well.

You don’t think they made their sons and daughters build their houses do you? That back breaking manual labor was the job for their indentured servants. The settlers charged their servants money to come over here. The idea was that the settler would grant their servants a plot of land to live and which to farm just as they did in the Netherlands or whatever they called that shit they came from. What the settlers realized was that there was a shitload of land here in the Americas and to settle all of it, because let’s be honest, when is white ever gonna be happy with just owning half of everything, they would need more laborers.

og

The Indians were bad laborers. Now when I say Indians I am referring to the ancestors of the dudes that drink too much and own all the fucking casinos. Not the dudes that can’t hold down their liquor and own all the Qwik-E-Marts. Those are hindudes. We’ll get to them in a minute. The Indians were lousy servants because they had this funky attitude like “Why should we work for y’all motherfuckers when we was living here, eating deer, and minding our own business?” The settlers then decided to merc’k the Indians something like how the Red Sox are gonna kick Cleveland’s ass. Except the settlers did that shit more fly than the Red Sox. The settlers handed out blankets filled with smallpox.

Back to the issue at hand… Where would the settlers get more of the laborers and farmers that they need to capitalize on all the open space that the Indians were giving them? The key industry that made the Americas so valuable wasn’t so much precious metals or minerals, but agricultural products. Unlike Europe, which was mostly craggy and cold, the Americas were a fertile, healthy landscape where all types of plants, fruits and vegetables prospered in. You know how much cake you could make in Europe selling agricultural products? Wild amounts. The settlers needed bodies to help them stack that guap, ya’ dig?!? But even better than bodies, the settlers needed specialized farmers.

In the old country farmers were the backbone of the community. You could trust the man that spent his waking hours digging in the dirt or driving the team. The plowman was literally the salt of the Earth. This motherfucker walked behind the team of animals and by the end of the day he was up to his knees in shit and animal piss, because you can’t tell an ox or a mule when or where to shit and piss. They do that shit and it becomes fertilizer for the crops. That’s why the plowman can’t come into the house to eat. Mom dukes ain’t having that fool track animal shit all around the house. The plowman sits out back and gets his meals sent through the kitchen window. In Germany, or Deutschland, or whatever the fuck they called that shit, the plowman was called the negger. That described his job. That’s what the people called him. No big deal either, and keep in mind this is whites calling other whites this shit.

At that point in time the human condition didn’t separate themselves by skin complexion, but by language and respective nationality. The idea of using skintone as a system for separating people was adopted by the Europeans from the hindudes who had a setup that divided their priests from their farmers and manual laborers. The hindudes caste system appeared to the Europeans as social stratification according to skintone since the priests were essentially lighter skinned than the farmers. No big surprise to me though since the farmers were outdoors all of the time. Anyhoo, the Europeans never really bother to ask questions about shit they don’t understand, they shoot first and let God do all the sorting and paperwork. The Europeans needed farmers in the Americas and there were some damn good farmers in Africa, or Nubia, or whatever the fuck they called that shit back then. The Europeans had found their neggers.

og

At that time the Europeans from the north called dark skinned people Schwarz. That’s the Deutschland word for black. The Europeans struck a deal with the a-rabs from the Mediterraenean region to deliver them some of the best farmers and laborers from the fertile regions inside central Africa, or Nubia, or… You know where the fuck I’m talking about. The a-rabs have been doing this slave ship since the Code of Hammurabi days so that was nothing for them. The a-rabs were slick and they played the Africans against one another. They basically had the Hebrew farmers in the central region stuck up by the gentile Africans. Most of you so-called Black people here in America are actually Jews, but that is a whole ‘nother Sunday school drop.

Check this foxy shit out… White don’t play that shit when it comes to keeping his stacks in order. Why you think he labeled an area of Africa the ivory coast? Or the gold coast? Because that is where he steals that shit from. That dude is so hardbody that he labels the map to tell him where to go to get the natural resource he wants. He labeled a whole region in central Africa NEGGER because that was the shit he was mining from that region. Negger eventually begets Niger just like tomatoe begets tomato. They are the same things no matter how they are spelled now. Shitloads of schwarze neggers are brought to the Americas from Africa.

FYI, Billy X. Sunday Fun Fact: Schwarze Negger = Black Plowman

Back to the lesson… The schwarze naggers aren’t just brought to America for their agricultural skills and their labor. They are brought here under a systemic organized platform of terror. Families are purposely separated. People from the same ‘hood are also divided and deposited in different areas. There was never a system of slavery on this planet that treated the human with such an utter lack of humanity. Being a plowman was never this bad. America’s neggers were the beasts of burden and not the oxen. Let’s face it though. If you are gonna do some shit that is fucked the fuck up you might as well do it like you’re doing it for t.v. Despite all the bullshit these neggers perservered. I call that God’s sense of grace, because there were millions of people that didn’t survive the four months at sea in the cramped hull of a boat while they slept in their shit, piss, vomit and blood. If you ended up in America you were meant to be here.

Fast forward past all that Civil War shit to the time in America when manufacturing and industrialization supplanted agriculture as the steam machine that powered our GDP/GNP. America began to develop a class of people that were not land owners nor farmers. The people that still worked in agriculture typically did not own the lands that they labored upon. There were African Americans that were becoming educated and even land owners themselves. This is when the word nigger becomes a slur. It no longer describes the persons occupation, but in a manner it assigns a caste to the person. To tell someone that no matter how straight their hair is, or how fancy their clothes are they will always be subservient is a statement of social mobility.

og

The word nigger was used mostly by the transplanted immigrants from Germany and Ireland. They escaped famine and disease in their former homelands only to find that America was not so much the land of wealth as it was the land where you maintained a racial hegemony. If you didn’t maintain this color line you jeopardized your possibility at achieving the ultimate cultural lottery ticket which was to step into the ruling class. This is how supremacy works and it is the obligation of white to keep this shit rocking or else we could have a chink as the president one day. Yeah racism sucks wild balls, but what other choices do we have? I don’t care who your favorite rapper is, racism, and the word nigger is here to stay.

The reason I give you this drop today is to support NaSir Jones and the projected title of his latest album. White created the word nigger and they used to call each other the word too. Most likely as a term of affection I might add. I can see some old European land owner standing on his porch and looking over his land as Johann or Bernhard or whatever the fuck his name was worked in the field. That’s when the land owner would say to his fellow land owner, “Johann is my nigger.” I don’t think it’s right to forbid white from using the word nigger, especially not from forbidding him to call other white nigger either. How else are white going to be able to request the title track from NaS’ new album on the radio? You know white is going to be buying that shit too.

Now that we have agreed on the name for NaS’ new album can we help my nigga select some beats?

stillmatic

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Saturday, October 20th, 2007

lucha libre

What’s more like wrestling than rap music? The heroes and the bad guys all work out of the same headquarters. Universal Music Group holds all the cards on the drama fest. The rest of us just watch from outside of the ring screaming and shouting, hoping for a little bit of fake blood to be spilled.

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!?

Very much so. Even more so after I received these designs representing the best album of 2007 and my favorite rap album of all time. As we wrap up the DP Dot Com x NIKE iD Design cage match the thing that I have loved the most has been the enthusiastic responses from readers that I didn’t even know were in the building. Glad to know that you folks are out there.

Sneaker Fiends Unite!

The Graduate Air Max 1

graduation

KanYe West might be the be the only rapper who could find some gear to match this swagger.

graduations

The Purple Tape Air Max 1

the purple tape

Enjoy these joints because there won’t be an OB4CL2.

purple tapes