Archive for November, 2007

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SONNY CHIBA IS THAT KARATE NIGGA!

Friday, November 23rd, 2007

street fighter

Watching the O.G. ‘Street Fighter’ flick starring SONNY CHIBA, blazed the eff out of my head since it wouldn’t be right to watch a CHIBA flick without being high off the cheeba. This shit is so fucking hardbody you wouldn’t believe your eyes. SONNY CHIBA is this wild eyed karate dude for hire that beats the shit out of everybody. Even the people he is paid to rescue.

The movie opens up with dude posing as a monk that is supposed to give a man his last rites. Instead he beats dude’s ass, and then tells him that he is going to put dude in a coma so that he can rescue him later. WTF? ‘Street Fighter’ is the ‘Super Fly’ of Yakuza flicks. The Yakuza is the Japanese mafia and they are way cooler than the Cosa Nostra ever was. The Yakuza all wear shades and dress in some of the meanest vines. Shoeboots are the minimum.

‘Street Fighter’ is a classic 1970’s exploitation flick from the treatment of the special effects to the all around poor acting. You shouldn’t be watching ‘Street Fighter’ for its acting or its storyline. You should be watching ‘Street Fighter’ to see SONNY CHIBA kill motherfuckers fifty different ways from Sunday. Watch it to see SONNY CHIBA make motherfuckers bleed from the head. Watch it to see SONNY CHIBA jam his fingers into people’s brains via their eye sockets. SONNY CHIBA even castrates a man with his bare hands [ll].

Tell me if you haven’t seen this shit before so I can mail you my DVD copy.

Yes, for free.

Posted in Fanboy Ish, Ghetto Celebs, Hollyweird, No Boutros Boutros... Ghali, Straight Laced, When I Reminisce... | 21 Comments »

No Jive Turkeys For Thanksgiving…

Thursday, November 22nd, 2007

joell ortiz

Hip-Hop is in the building.

KRS-1 and JOELL ORTIZ are freestyle fanatics.

Posted in Crappers, Ghetto Celebs, No Boutros Boutros... Ghali, T.O.N.Y. | 7 Comments »

Give Thanks To Those Who Gave All…

Thursday, November 22nd, 2007

homecoming

Thanksgiving Day is always a day for reflection on the value of the family. Take a moment today to give thanks to the people that have given the supreme sacrifice for our country.

Freedom certainly isn’t free and the families of our soldiers have paid dearly.

Take some time today to tell someone that you love them.

Make love, not war.

Posted in Black Bullshit, Harpers Weekly Review, HUFF YOU!, Social Upheaval, The MGMT | 7 Comments »

HO SIT DOWN!

Wednesday, November 21st, 2007

j.d.

Not that HO, but that OTHER ho…

Everyone of you readers MUST read the following Huffington Post blog entry by JERMAINE DUPRI. This is required reading for those of you who want a reason to justify why people should illegally download music. It is spoken in the earnest voice of someone who has no connection whatsoever to the consumer base that has supported the record industry all along.

To hear J.D. tell it, the consumer was better when they were more easily manipulated into purchasing whole albums simply because of their desire for one single track. JERMAINE claims that the current system which enables consumers to preview an entire album and purchase only the worthwhile singles from iTunes is ruining the industry. Seriously, read this idiot’s shit.

A Good Album is More than Just a Collection of Singles

Someone called this shit best over at XXLmag dot com by saying that JERMAINE is one of those slaves that thinks he is sick because his master has a cold. The record industry model needed to be scrapped ten years ago. What sickens me is that J.D. still uses his cache as a producer to speak as if he is more artist than entrepreneur. The reason why the public decided to support the iTunes model is because artists weren’t submitting complete albums. Or their labels weren’t publishing their music as such.

rap pack

J.D. describes JAY-Z’s demand to not sell ‘American Gangster’ via iTunes as the shot in the industry’s arm to revitalize them and remind the people at Apple who is really the boss when selling music is concerned. Pahh! Just try to sell another JANET JACKSON album without iTunes, or a MICHAEL JACKSON album for that matter. No one will risk going in on purchasing an entire album from either of these icons without damn near every track first being leaked. The record industry killed their golden egg laying goose and now they want to blame everyone and everything else but themselves. How about releasing a complete fucking album from an artist?

When you listen to a record like ‘Graduation’ you recognize the care placed into the development of every song on the album. You may not like every track but it is obvious to me that KANYE WEST spent his time trying to make every song personal and separate as an individual statement. In the best reality a great album IS in fact a collection of singles that play independently and individually of the larger collection.

When artists return to examining and exploring their artform is when the public will return to consuming their journey in its entirety. Let’s see if JERMAINE can make a JANET JACKSON worth listening to instead of trying to give her the sound of an aging BRITNEY SPEARS(who mind you, was actually just a bootlegg JANET from the gate anyhoo). In the meantime J.D., sit the eff down.

t.i.

Posted in Billy Sunday @ XXL, Black Bullshit, Crappers, Ghetto Celebs, HUFF YOU!, Jig Lit Review, No Boutros Boutros... Ghali, Social Upheaval, Wig Owners | 12 Comments »

cRap Music Fantasy League Q4 Update Wk.8

Wednesday, November 21st, 2007

jay

At the beginning of this quarter I think I said that this would be the time for the big dogs to come out and play. cRap music blue chippers reign supreme in the Q4. Jay-Z has all the momentum of a runaway train similar to T.I. when he had both an album in stores (‘King’) and a feature film in theatres (‘A.T.L.’). What the hell has become of the world when CHARLIE ROSE has to sit down with Shawn Carter and call him by his stage name? This is why we created the cRap Music Fantasy League in the first place. You never really know what the fuck is going to happen in cRap music.

Speaking of T.I., or Tip, or whatever character he is acting as now. T.I. is the king of southern rap and he is a blue chip cRap music prospect. You will get your points from him no matter how shitastic his records are. And ‘T.I. vs. Tip’ was totally Top 10 shitastic. Diddy is in the top 5 of artists scoring totals for the cMFL and he hasn’t even released a record in over a year. Diddy does what it do to get his label owners their cMFL points. From punching out friends in the club to attracting more lawsuits than the GEICO lizard, Diddy is the definition of a blue chip artist. By any means necessary, he gets points.

Here’s a breakdown of the current cMFL scoreboard…

Krack Ko Kaine Entertainment 8450
Incilin Productions 8125
Gain Green Records 7650
WindBreaker Records 7625
America Done Fell Off Records 7525
WDISL Records 7075
Funk Town Records 7025
All Starz Entertainment 6925
Gunshine State Music 6400
The Nappy Ram Affiliates 6300
CRap-A-lot Records 6000
Open Cannister Recordz 6000
North Star Records 5950
Bang 2 Dis Entertainment 5925
Jesus Slap Boxers 5850
Candyland Records 5825
Pretty Dollar Entertainment 5600
Berries & Cream Records 5550
Fantasy Records 5500
Beat Break Records 5425
WTF Records 5400
329 Music 5375
Bodega Inc 5250
Media Whore Records 5025
Bottlenecks Records 4600
NYC Records 4575
DubbleUp Entertainment 4450
Combat Jack Records 4325
SayDatNuccaName Wreckids 4300
MIP Records 4100
Solutions Global Media 4075
Fuckin Sellout Records 4050
Vagina Crusher Records 4000
Talent Show Entertainment 3800
Barely Literate Entertainment 3775
Death On Arrival Records 3750
Mental Calisthenics 3450
Brick Productions 3300
New Black Money Records 3225
The Block Is Hot Music Group 3100
ASE Records 3000
Detroit In Dis Bitch Records 2275
County Of Kings Records 2250
BLZ Records 2150
Know The Limit Records 1400
Six Feet Deep Promotions 225

So you ask me what the keys are to winning the DP Dot Com cRap Music Fantasy League?

  • You should pick at least four (4) blue chip artists. The types of cRappers that stay in the news for doing shit. Whether it’s beating the shit out of nail salon technicians or starting a business of low cost lawyers for hire to defend people when they get arrested. Blue chippers stay in the news for everything that they do, and occasionally some of them even rap.

    • jay

    Peep the pie chart above. Out of the 45 cRap Music Fantasy League label owners only two(2) did NOT select JAY-Z. What were they thinking?

  • KanYe West wasn’t nearly as popular a Q4 selection as JAY-Z, but ‘Ye Tudda remains a blue chip point scorer. GQ Man Of The Year, 1.5m sold for ‘Graduation’, awards shows and all kinds of Hollywood shit.

    • 18 of the 45 labels chose KanYe West and right now he is the second highest point scorer in the cMFL behind T.I. KanYe will be the difference between the winners and the whiners in this quarter’s pool.

    ye tudda

  • The way you win the cRap Music Fantasy league is by picking one or two dark horse cRappers that come from the back of the ranks to score unexpected points.

    • Remember in Q3 when Remy Ma bust that cap in her weedcarrier’s gut? That is the type of shit that will put a label owner over the top. This quarter’s money boss dark horse is Common Sense. He has major motion pictures coming to theatres along with marketing and merchandising arrangements. Who knows, ‘Finding Forever’ might just go platinum too? Mo’ money, mo’ money.

    com sense

    The only thing about Common is that only two labels picked him so if Common goes on a point scoring spree 43 of the cMFL label owners will be left out. Common Sense might be the difference for whoever winds up prevailing in the cRap Music Fantasy League.

    Posted in BeYONCE's Hair, Billy Sunday @ XXL, Black Bullshit, cRap Fantasy League, Crappers, Ghetto Celebs, iNternets Celebrities, Sneaker Fiends United, Wig Owners | 11 Comments »

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