Why did HUBIE BROWN repeatedly refer to TRACY McGRADY as McGREEVEY?!? Freudian slip? Let’s hope so.
As soon as I anoint Denver the Western Conference champs they go back to sucking. At least Philly gave lil’ A.I. his due last night.
Boston better get familiar with the Cavaliers.
If the season ended today CHRIS PAUL would be the MVP.
I picked every game wrong last night.
NCAA Final 4 Tourney tips off 2nite.
Georgetown Hoyas > Miami Heat.
Rainy days get me down. I need to get some sleep. Between my daily grind that pays the bills and my other daily grind that lets me fly high I need to find the time to shut my eyes. I thought I would go straight home and fall back with some grub and a bottle of cough syrup.
I stopped at my local chinese food spot. Sonn that runs the shop is a cool chinese mafia underboss, or Hong Kong thug, or some shit. His left arm is all tatted with a dragon. These make a serious chicken wing. Sonn loves to gamble though. If I come through looking for the classic ghetto gourmet cuisine (wings + shrimp f.r.) sonn will quiz me on the evening round of NBA games.
Here was my advice…
Road Doggs
Why are chinese cats some of the illest gamblers? These niggas will gamble for anything. And win. I’ll have a free dinner tomorrow night. Chinese grandmas get it in for Mah-Jongh.
I just sold a ten year old North Face catalog on eBay for $44 with shipping and handling included. I think I will eBay some more shit since my writing grizzly doesn’t pay me anymore. How much do you think a corporation should pay me for my writing services on a monthly basis? Be honest. You won’t be hurting my feelings. It’s not like those niggas were giving me paper to swag off out of control. I pay my cable bill and I invest the rest in building a virtual community with the people I meet on the internets.
I feel like trying something different tonight. If you are on the webs and you fucks with AIM hit me up – the_dallas@dallaspenn.com. That is my AIM address. Holler back. Let’s get a live blog popping. i.C. stylee.
9.01 EST
*sits around alone*
9.15 EST
*still sits around alone*
9.18 EST
*RAFI is in the bldg*
9.21 EST
*LiSA checks in*
9.33 EST
*JamarDot online*
9.41 EST
*NickBerkowitz*
Editor’s note: You may be familiar with the Reverend Jeremiah Wright as the outspoken leader of the congregation that BARACK OBAAMA attends in Chicago. Sneaker Fiends Unite! field general 40 Diesel stops by DP Dot Com to tell us that this Reverend Wright is just dead wrong.
I’d like to take this time to give the DP.com “HO SIT DOWN” to Reverend Jeremiah Wright who’s “Oooh Lawdie” ramblings are threatening to derail the Obama train.
To quote DeRay Davis on Kanye’s debut album – “You’s a n*gger, and I don’t mean that in no nice way!” This applies to Rev. Ike, I mean Wright. Plus when I do break out the venerable 14th Letter Bomb I use it in the same context that Uncle Ruckus uses it to describe Uncle Remus. No German plow-pushers here, I mean the full “ER” (no Mekhi Phifer). Why do I cast Rev. Wright in to the deep, dark end of the n*gger pool? Because like most n*ggers he doesn’t give a f*ck about black people here. He’s acting like your drunk uncle at your Ivy League school graduation luncheon. Yeah you love him for all he’s done but at this point he’s just acting wrong by compromising someone else’s gains so he can ramble on and “keep it real”.
I never got down with the Negroe clergy because I just didn’t see where all that whoopin’ and hollerin’ were gonna get us anywhere other than late for football. Also I never quite rocked with religion like that, and I don’t mean in the smarmy Bill Maher way that casts off any one with a belief system as “stupid”, but that we’ve been calling on “De Lawd” since Jamestown and we’re still fucked up in the game. Marx once said “religion is the opiate for the masses”, well then the Black Clergy is the kingpins of its distribution, and we all know how kingpins can be.
So I admonish this Kingpin Wright because instead of stepping up and making a simple statement like “These are not Barack’s words or beliefs, these are mine.” He’s gonna lay in the cut and line is coffers with more tithes and collection plate duckets. Meanwhile, Barack Obama has to answer for this fool and if he doesn’t show the right amount of contrition everything he’s built could be blown to bits by the media onslaught, thus derailing the first nationally viable brother in years. But see thats what n*ggers do, as Chris Rock said “N*ggers love to keep it real!”, yeah – REAL COWARDLY. I mean Barry-O took on the Farrakhan question smoother than Billy Dee with a case of Colt 45, and in doing that he didn’t shit on ole Louie, he just disassociated himself from the comments he didn’t agree with and kept it moving.
Rev Jeezie here needs to understand whats at hand here, and speak up for the man that thrust him in to the national spotlight. Quit being a chicken shit, and talk all that “Whitey this” in the comfy confines of your Negroe peanut gallery. Step up, stand up, and speak when there’s alot more hanging in the balance than locking down those tithes to remodel your tax free mansion in Chicago. We got a country hanging in the balance here and the integrity of a black man being challenged here. But if you and the rest of The New Day Co-Op of preachers wanna let him fall because you really wanted Missy Hillary then go ahead, we don’t need you. So I’ll end this with a paraphrase of Malcolm’s feelings over the demise of the Nation of Islam…
“Greatest candidate black folks had in years, and a n*gger ruined it.”
Remember y’all real n*ggers don’t die, they just fuck it up for black folk…
BILLY SUNDAY’s rambling thoughts from the basement…
First off kids, drugs are bad. I am stating this unequivocally, and I still haven’t taken my cough syrup yet. After that I should be flying. Try to walk with me for now…
So as I sit in my parent’s basement drinking Belvedere and Snapple Goji punch from my favorite sippee cup with the R2D2 crazy straw I asked myself, “Self, what is that futuristic rap shit?”
Nah’mean?!? What is that shit that would have you amped for the leak (no Wang)? Peep this…
Rap supergroup CERBERUS!
Just like the mythical three-headed dog this group would be the three best emcees with dog bark rhymes.
So no, Snoop would be excluded.
DMX, Ja Rule and Nine.
How sick is that lineup?
Nine was doing that dog shit, but then Funk Flex dropped sonn to run with DMX and the Double R crew. That was some fucked the fuck up shit since these two cats are from the Bronx, but you should all know that Funk Flex is coin-operated in this game. And I suppose we should all understand and represent our cultural value. Don’t let me get off track here. Nine starts shit off since that was his style first.
DMX is the doghead in the center. This motherfucker is complex and twisted. And crazy. Did I just say crazy? That nigga is 7 dot thirty. But that witty, unpredictable shit is what the game needs. The Wu does that shit on the regulack and we need more artists that have their creative energy focused. When DMX is focused he finds a spiritual level in his songs that prah’lee reminds heads of 2Pac, except DMX can rhyme better. But y’all already knew that. DMX is also crazy.
Ja Rule was put down over Busta Rhymes because you need a doghead to howl at the moon, and that is what Ja Rule’s singing ass will do. Plus let’s face it, you need someone to bring in the bitches. Hardbody rappers should have a least one track for the ‘hoodrats, er, ladies. Them chicks with a razor cut from their lip to their left earlobe who like being consensually punched in the face during sex. Rrrrrragh!
The question now is who would sign these washed up rappers to a deal that would get them together in the studio and then touring? It would need to be someone with a lot of wild paper. In steps the real Cerberus…
Cerberus Capital Management is a group of t.I.’s on that BlackWater USA shit except these jokers is more hard-fucking-body. These dudes own wild random shit;
These fools got the scene OnSmash. Nahh, but f’real, these dudes got a media company too, and they own television stations. They prah’lee keep a lot of Harris Publications in the black too. So I guess that makes me an employee of Cerberus on some six degrees shit.
Cerberus was the three headed dog that guarded the gates of Hades. If you ventured to Hades and tried to rescue one of your fam or friends you have to deal with Cerberus. Most motherfuckers just got devoured to death. I wonder how many emcees the rap group Cerberus can overwhelm? I think these old dogs still got some bite left in they bark provided you don’t try to teach an old dog new tricks.
Back to talking about the newly installed governor of New York. I think the best part of the new wave of n3gr0 politicians is the fact that their flaws are placed on Front Street. Other politicians will claim they have never even inhaled, or they will cover up their past with codpiece cowboy fairytales. [ll].
What excites me the most about DAVID PATERSON’s ascension is not even the fact that he is one of the few African Americans to ever hold the office of governor, but the fact that dude is blind. OBAAMA is going to have to step up his game and add a disability to his repetoire. I would totally vote for him if he amputated an arm. I remember this man that lived in my old neighborhood had a wood arm. I was scared of him at first, but as I got older and I delivered newspapers through my neighborhood he was one of the best customers. Turned out to be a ‘Nam vet on disability. Good dude.
But I digress…
This drop is to celebrate all the players and the mayors that make do with one less sense than the most of us. Truth is these folks have more sense than most of us. Too often we rely on our sense of sight to carry the burden of informing our mind. And eyesight is the sense most easily deceived. Why else do you think the t.I.’s stay telling lies to your vision with your television?
You just don’t hear me though.
What makes blind men such players anyhoo? I’ll tell you what. The best women in the world smell like a ocean breeze. Not that nasty cool water shit. I’m talking about that smell when you just came from baking your skin at the beach. I don’t like a chick that wears deoderant either. That shit is a damn lie. Shit doesn’t de-odor, it re-odors. I like a woman with her natural essences coming through her skin, and a little salty sweat in her neck area.
Plus blind dudes stay touching all the tender points acting like they can’t see shit. That is the biggest excuse for lightly touching a woman’s forearm on the inside part. Don’t fuck around either and sleep on a blind man’s foreplay skills either. Them fools will use that sign language shit to soften a snatch and then the next thing you know they have their fist up there.
So now everyone is realizing that blind is the new beautiful. It’s a world that isn’t hampered by colors or shapes. Just sound, smell and touch. Here are some of the G.O.A.T. cataract Casanovas in the game…
RAY CHARLES
Ray Charles put in so much work that he gave JAMIE FOXX Hollywood ass for life. ‘Nuff said.
THE BLIND BOYS OF ALABAMA
Imagine if you will all the fine and proper church ladies that have been sitting in the pews all morning since the missionary meeting at ten o’clock. The Blind Boys of Alabama come through and get everyone moistened up and then they pass around the collection before we come down into the church basement for refreshments. One of the female ushers asked them if they wouldn’t mind helping butter the ladies biscuits. Jesus, be a raincoat.
EVERETT ‘BAT MAN’ BAILEY
Blind negro league superstar and teammate of SATCHEL PAIGE and BUCK O’NEIL.
STEVELAND HARDAWAY JUDKINS MORRIS
Stevie Wonder is the GOAT of everyone listed for being cool enough to party with the people until 6am, and for being crazy enough to believe in love.