Fuck a forehead, these clowns have 8-heads
The ASSOCIATION Is FANtastic!
May 8th, 2006
I trust that most of you have been enjoying the 2006 NBA Playoffs. The biggest surprise to me was how well GILBERT ARENAS can fill up the hole(no TOM CRUISE). When he wasn’t taking it hard to the rim, he was popping it from deep(no JAKE GYLENHAAL). It was nice to see some new names and faces emerge on the scene. Even SHOWBEE BRYANT almost made me root for him. Keep in mind that STEVE NASH is an illegal immigrant from Canada who has overstayed his travel visa. Let’s see if INS kicks in his door. Mr.KAMOJI, I got your back if you come stateside player, but just remember that fish and visitors smell bad after three days.
I have enjoyed the games that I’ve watched, but with some of these contests creeping into the early mornings I have had to catch up with the results on the 6am SportsCenter. I suppose there isn’t much that you can do when a contest goes to O.T. out west. What frustrates me is that there are hell’a great players in the Western Conference that I can’t peep until if and when they make the Finals. To this extent I thought of changing the format for the playoffs. This can work with the NFL as well. Peep the technique…
Seed the teams that make the playoffs 1 through 16
Make a bracket similiar to the Final Four tourney where the team with the best record plays the team with the worst, the team with the second best record plays the second worst team, etc. By virtue of league record, then conference stats, and finally, the inter-divisional marks I have created the seeding for what should have been the first round.
1) Detroit vs. 16) Milwaukee
This went down anyhoo in the old format. We all knew that the Bucks stopped here.
2) San Antonio vs. 15) Chicago
Chicago is game and gritty plus I would have liked to see the NOCIONI / GINOBILLI matchup(no Italian paisan brokeback)
3) Dallas vs. 14) Indiana
Not too much to see here. Since Indy doesn’t have the guns or the legs they will be brought to their knees.
4) Phoenix vs. 13) Washington
Two teams that could give less than a fuck about playing defense. This would have been like vintage ABA basketball with each team scoring no less than 160 points per game. I call this matchup the Sega Classic. ARENAS averages 70ppg.
5) Miami vs. 12) Sacramento
SHAQ’s dominance over Sac-Town continues even after ARTISTE hits him in the head with an elbow.
6) Cleveland vs. 11) Denver
This is a treat for all the the PS2 geeks that are complaining that LeBREEZY catches too much shine over MELO. Too bad that Denver didn’t even stand a chance.
7) New Jersey vs. 10) Los Angeles Lakers
Get your TiVO’s setup for SHOWBEE and the Showstoppers against PRINCESS CARTER and the S.Dots. Would somebody please write a rap about this shit.
8) Memphis vs. 9) Los Angeles Clippers
I am on the PAUL GASOL beardwatch team. Captain Caaaaaaaaaaaveman!
The only way to get to see these games now is with an Xbox. This is the one instance where the NBA should let the high schoolers decide whats best for themselves. Otherwise the Association will continue to get trumped in the television ratings to NASCAR even on days when the races are rained out.
Please believe it!
WOLVERINE IS 7-THIRTY
May 7th, 2006
Another dead on character that the X-Men films have had is the LOGAN/Wolverine role played by HUGH JACKMAN. The character’s grit and fearlessness came through in the movies. Wolverine is actually a gully, 7-30 motherfucker. He got his mind wiped out by some evil scientist who knew of his mutant power and wrapped some wild steel alloy around his bones. Wolverine was made into a super efficient killing machine by the claws that he can extend from his forearms.
The character’s storyline is one of the great Marvel Comics mysteries. As a government operative, LOGAN has ben all around the globe. Part of his appeal to me was that he was a committed team member, but constantly a challenge to the status quo. You couldn’t take Wolverine anywhere because he was as conspicuous without his costume on as he was in uniform. He was always being left back in the Blackbird with Beast and Nightcrawler. Wolverine was the true embodiment of an X-man because he just didn’t give a fuck if you loved him or hated him. He just liked to kick in people’s asses.
I call Wolverine crazy 7-thirty because that is what you have to be to fight against the Wendigo AND the Hulk. I found some sketches from JOHN BYRNE which illustrate the overall gulliness of one of comicdom’s greatest characters.
BABY ‘BACHS ARE A BEAST
May 7th, 2006
I am not all sick over whips and in a few hours I will talk to you about stealing cars. People put way too much stock and relevance into the material shit in their lives. We let these things define us and represent us. But there is a temporal nature to material items that you have to recognize. What is considered ‘hot’ today will not be popular tomorrow because having permenance doesn’t support the capitalistic machine.
Now when you look at automobiles you are looking at one of our greatest guilty pleasures. Their value is in the convenience that they allow us to travel from point ‘A’ to point ‘B’. Their value isn’t in the item itself since cars depreciate the second you first turn the key in the ignition. That’s why I never get too hype over cars. Their purpose is to work for you. There is no point in having something pretty if you can’t use it. I guess that is the broke dude in me coming out against cars because I do own way more sneakers than I have feet for.
Still, every now and then my eyes see something that I recognize for its acheivemement in technical engineering. Mercedes got this one off biggtime with their new S-class sedans. This is going to be the new rapper luxury car pushing the BMW 745i out of the frame. Mercedes is sick because they put shit into a car that you didn’t even realize that you wanted. Leave it to the Germans to invent the air conditioned steering wheel and variable speed power ass massagers(no JAKE GYLLENHAAL). The new S class even invokes the image of Mercedes premier division, Maybach.
I don’t plan on selling out, but if a job came through with the Negro Network or the supremracist Massa Tell lies Vision I might have to consider what is more important to me, leaning back with the devil, or doing the Timberland two-step and keeping my principals.
G DUBBZ Got That SNOW Man
May 7th, 2006
I am fully convinced that extra-terrestrials run this rap shit. Do you see your man TONY SNOW’s massive head?!? No SHERYL SWOOPES to that last sentence. Homeboy’s superized domepiece is on some evil villian Brainiac type jawn. This dude might be reading my mind right now.
The Prez tabbed this guy to spin for the Administration. He is going to be the guy that explains why we are going after Iran. SNOW would be better to spin the story about why we are going to Mars or something like that because he has the E.T. Roswell cranium. Whatever he ends up talking about his work is cut out for him. Let’s see if he can turn this pile of shiite into pate…
All of G DUBBZ right wing homies are bailing on his Administration. It turns out that conservatives are as fickle as fiends and the cracks inside the BUSH regime aren’t the kind that you can smoke.
CIA Director ups and quits without giving his two weeks notice. The CIA has been embattled under the Administration more than ever, and with the war drums being beaten again to the tune of Iranian dance music I wonder where the intel will come from that confirms the Turban’s WMD’s(Wild Man Dreams). Secretly, I wonder if Mr.GOSS had an issue with working under someone whose name began with NEGRO…
The American casualty rate in Iraq remains at a steady climb as does the rate of unemployment here in the States. Were not creating jobs fast enough and we aren’t holding the right levels of troops overseas despite what the President might be telling people. TONY SNOW should try to put the guest worker program within the Army, calling it the ‘Guest Soldier Initiative’.
Damn I’m good, I should move to the Beltway.