I’m Sort’a Like A Big Deal…

May 7th, 2009

dp

Another piece of press for the kid.

Call me the burgermeister because I am on a roll. Ooooooooooooo!

VIBE.com is just like VIBE except its for the internets. DP is #36 on the list of the top 50 Hip-Hop weblogs.

Ha!

Next thing you know I will be in the celeb sightings inside Jet magazine. I always wanted to be close to a Jet centerfold. I guess that is the only way that will be going down.

I’m thinking about not having another rap song ever posted on this site now because of this article.

No disrespect to anyone else on GOD’s green Earth, but there are not 35 other websites on this planet better than DallasPenn.com

I’m talking about all the websites in all of the world.

Even the joints in Chinese and German.

I don’t need to be in anyone’s top 10 list, but I better damn well sure be on EVERYBODY’s top 20.

Posted in Jig Lit Review, The MGMT | 30 Comments »

Revenge Of The Sith…

May 7th, 2009

kobesan

I don’t think the Rockets can get away with manhandling the face of the Association. How many other Black dudes have gotten away with stealing the booty of a young tender… White? Exactly, KOBE is more connected than TIM DONAGHY was. At the end of the day you still have to hit the shots and KOBE shot better than 50% from the field.

The series started pretty chippy from the gate and I think Houston is lucky that TRACY McGRADY isn’t on the floor for them. McGRADY is too tender for the rough stuff that we will see as this series continues. I hope he retires already and just opens up his flower selling business in Florida. The Association is too hardbody for that dude.

Some people still sleep on KOBE’s toughness even though this guy has a decade in this league and a shitload of post-season wins. True, he doesn’t have a post-SHAQ ‘chip, but you know that shit is coming. If I could get in RON ARTEST’s ear I would tell him to fall back on trying to intimidate these Lakers, especially KOBE. These dudes ain’t neva skurred.

Remember that chin check CHRIS CHILDS served on KOBE? Where do you think CHILDS is now? He’s living in a homeless shelter as an alcoholic. KOBE BRYANT visits him during the off-season to urinate on him. I wouldn’t fux with KOBE if I was RON. Queensbridge swagger be damned, KOBE is from Philadelphia. That shit is more hardbody than Camden.

kobesan

Posted in Black Bullshit, Fanboy Ish, No Boutros Boutros... Ghali, Sneaker Fiends United, Sports are Gay, The Association, Wig Owners | 20 Comments »

Bay Watch…

May 6th, 2009

jason bay

If you asked me last year right after the trade of JASON BAY to the Red Sox and MANNY RAMIREZ to the Dodgers I woiuld have told you that the Sox got jobbed. JASON BAY was a serviceable outfielder, but I didn’t believe he was the Yankee killer that RAMIREZ was. Boy, was I wrong. BAY has been lights out against Boston’s most dreaded rival hitting over .500 in the five games played this season with 3 HRs and 10 RBIs.

I love JASON BAY’s swing because it reminds me of MIKE PIAZZA [ll]. That is to say that I think he has the classic two-handed follow through of some of the best right handed hitters. What I am also learning about BAY is that he hasn’t changed his stroke from the one he used while in Pittsburgh.

jason bay

I owe a bit of an apology to RAFI KAM since I told him that roto-leaguers knew stats but they didn’t know players who had a feel for the game.

As of this moment Boston is in second place in the American League East behind Toronto. That is sure to change before the All-Star game. DAVID ORTIZ has been slumping and the rest of the Red Sox lineup has to get in gear. The teams offense has been primarily BAY and KEVIN YOUKILIS.

I’m sorry I slept on BAY. He may end up being an All-Star in July.

With only less than 15% of the baseball season completed I would give JASON BAY 3.5/5 swimsuit PAM ANDERSON’s.

bay watch

Posted in Beisbol, No Boutros Boutros... Ghali, Sports are Gay, When I Reminisce... | 7 Comments »

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

May 5th, 2009

dp

It’s intra-mural softball season again and I have decided to get in the game to hopefully shed some of this winter hibernation weight.

Well, for me it wasn’t like I was hibernating, but rather drinking too much alcohol.

Anyhoo…

It’s time for me to take out the dusty old glove and the rusty old bats, but you can best believe my footwear will be crispy as ever, at least for the first game.

I’ve got my eyes on the NIKE MVP series of baseball cleats. These are like the ones that MANNY RAMIREZ wears.

mvp metal

Everyone on my team pitches a bitch with me for wearing metal cleats. Its not like I have ever slid. Evar.

I just like wearing what the pros wear even if my game is mostly fanboy meets waterboy.

mvp molded

I’ll prA’li end up wearing the molded cleats though since I will be playing first base again this year.

I’m something like MO VAUGHN and RUSTY STAUB combined with Mo’ Better Blues and a rusty nail. You don’t want no parts of this mang.

Posted in Beisbol, Fanboy Ish, iNternets Celebrities, No Boutros Boutros... Ghali, Sneaker Fiends United, Sports are Gay, T.O.N.Y., When I Reminisce... | 8 Comments »

Fanboy Massacre…

May 5th, 2009

fanboy wolvie

We are starting to see that some of the studios think they can put syrup on dogshit and call it pancakes. I’m not gonna say that the Wolverine movie sucks asscheeks like that, but the truth is that is was overhyped for the end product being as lame as it was.

It sucks to be a fanboy sometimes because we have to sit and watch as the canon of our favorite characters is destroyed in order to make entertainment vehicles to satisfy an audience that wasn’t riding with us from the gate. I accept the fact that some changes have to be made to storylines or else they would never fit into a motion picture entertainment format (2hr), but don’t start making up shit.

Wolverine is the kind of movie that I imagine Disney would make if they were controlling Marvel studios. All the fake emotion with no passion. This isn’t Aladddin. This isn’t Hurby the Love Bug. This isn’t 101 fucking Dalmations. This is supposed to be Wolverine. Known for blacking out and going into a berserker rage and shredding bodies like sheets of paper.

I’m not mad at you Marvel. Y’all got the Hulk right on point the second time around. I hope you let someone with the knowledge and the love of these characters to control the production on part two. If I don’t see blood there will be blood (no DANIEL DAY LEWIS).

wolvie hellfire guard

Posted in Fanboy Ish, Hollyweird, Ninjas, No Boutros Boutros... Ghali, Weird Science, When I Reminisce... | 17 Comments »

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